Married to an Asshole ☑️

Chapter 53: Home (pt. 3)

Kaiser | Home (pt. 3)

As expected, pagmamulat ko ay walang anino akong nakita. Walang Summer. Ano ba naman ang naisip kong baka nandito siya? She's half way across the world, you fucking idiot.

Napatingin ako sa repleksyon ko sa salamin. "I look like a fucking mess." Totoong I'm a mess without her and getting sick while she's away emphasizes my need for her.

I guess masasabi nang dependent na ako sa kaniya, sa tagal namin na naging mag-asawang nalatira sa iisang bubong.

Si Tabs 'yong tanging taong naging matyaga sa kagaguhan ko, lalo na 'pag may sakit. Noong mga panahong 'di pa kami bati at may sakit ako, inaalagaan niya ako. I mean, not as gentle as she is nang okay na kami pero 'di niya ako pinabayaan.

Dahil gago ako, pinagtatabuyan ko siya pero kahit gano'n ay nilalagyan niya ako ng pagkain sa nightstand. Pinibigyan niya rin ako ng gamot, 'yong marahas niyang tinutulak sa akin, pati na rin 'yong baso ng tubig.

That time, I didn't appreciate what she was doing. Nagagalit pa ako at sinisigawan siya lalo dahil nababasa ako ng tubig na tinulak niya sakin.

But now I know that it was a ruse, we were enemies so she didn't want me to think she cared —but she did. Gano'n lang talaga siya bilang tao. I'm surprised she put up with an asshole like me.

Buti na lang ay kusa akong gumaling, ilang araw na rin kasi ako 'di nakakapasok dahil sa lagnat. I've even missed calls with her because I was too fucking weak to pick up my phone. Hindi ko naman siya matawagan ngayon kasi baka tulog na siya kaya pumunta na lang ako sa kusina para maghanda na sana ng agahan ko but the fridge was empty.

Plano ko na sana nag-grocery noong araw na nagkasakit ako. It was part of my monthly schedule na pupunta ako sa supermarket sa araw ng day off ko pero, kung 'di pa halata, hindi na natuloy 'yon. Now I just got better but fucking starving because the house is completes devoid of food.

Begrudgingly, I picked up my car keys and dressed up as quickly as I could. Wala nang paligoy-ligoy pa kasi mula lunch kahapon ay wala akong nakain. Strangely enough though, 'di ako nakakaramdam ng pagod, which reminds me of the strangest dream I had.

Hindi ko siya maalala ng buo but I vaguely remember being fed dinner by... my wife. Alam kong nagdedeliryo lang ako kasi nandoon siya sa States, it's just that she felt so real.

Nakakagago lang siguro ang pagka-miss ko sa kaniya.

It felt so real though. Parang nahawakan ko talaga siya.

Babalik ako, I promise. Hinding-hindi na kita iiwan ulit.

Siguro dahil sa panaginip na 'yon ay mabilis akong gumaling. Ang lagnat at sipon na ilang araw kong dinadanas ay nawala bigla. Konting signhot at ubo na lang ang natira.

For some strange reason, I felt energized. Kahit wala pang laman ang tiyan ko ay hindi ako nakakaramdam ng gutom at bigla akong nagkagana lumabas ng bahay.

I immediately went to the meat section at nagpakilo ng baboy at bacon. Kumuha rin ako ng gulay para sa sinigang mamaya sa tanghalian. Papunta na sana ako sa aisle kung saan ang mga itlog para sa agahan ko pero doon tila gumuho ang aking mundo.

Akala ko anino lang no'ng una, I thought I was imagining shit but when I heard her voice, I knew I wasn't. She's here. She's here and she's walking towards me.

I didn't even know she was home. To make it worse, she was laughing and bickering with a guy I don't know.

She was touching him, pinching his cheek and he would bump into her and laugh. Mukhang may sarili silang mundo na 'di nila ako nakitang naglalakad na patungo sa kanila. He was pushing the cart, they were grocery shopping like a happy couple.

Pero hindi ako baliw para ibigay sa kano na 'yan ang asawa ko. Magbubugbugan muna kami.

"Tabs," tawag ko nang malapit na ako sa harapan nila. They both turned to me then she stared wide eye. Napatingin naman 'yong mokong na kasama niya sa aming dalawa bago mabilis na tumakbo papunta sa akin.

For a moment, I thought he was going to tackle me but I was prepared to throw a punch. Pero malayo doon ang nangyari kasi niyakap niya ako bigla. This fucking guy! I don't know who the fuck he is and he was hugging me? Why the fuck is he even hugging—

"Reed, gaga, bitawan mo siya ngayon din!" Naramdaman ko ang mga mata ng ibang taong tumingin sa direksyon namin ng biglang lumakas ang boses ni Tabs. "Reed, I don't know how you introduce yourself to strangers but this is how you get arrested, or worse, kidnapped. Ang gaga, parang kang love child ng linta at tarsier!" At mas kinagulat ko pa ang pagsabunot niya dito, "Bitawan mo ang asawa ko, kakalbuhin talaga kita."

That's when I realized just how much her appearance has changed. Noong araw na umalis siya, tila wala na siyang dugo sa pamumutula, but now I can clearly see the reddish tints of her cheeks. She looked healthy and that filled my heart with relief.

And her hair. I've always liked girls with long hair because longer hair just looked better to me. Pero ang ganda pa rin niya kahit maikli na ang buhok na talagang inalagaan niya simula no'ng tumubo ulit ito.

This is what she was keeping from me? Ilang taon siyang 'di nagpakita sa akin kasi natatakot siya sa magiging reaksyon ko sa hitsura niya ngayon?

"You look... beautiful," I said, craning my neck to face her while still in the loon's embrace. Nakapamewang ito para halatang natigilan sa sinabi ko. Almost forgetting where we were and the person clinging to me, I shrugged him off quickly and wrapped her in my arms.

She's here now. She's here with me and nothing else mattered.

Wala akong pake sa atensyong nakukuha ng mala teleseryeng pangyayaring pinapalabas namin. All I want, from the last 2 and a half years, is to have her with me like this.

"I missed you," hinalikan ko ang buhok niya. "I fucking missed you." She looked overcome with emotion, unti-unting namuo ang mga luha sa mga mata niya as I kissed with all the yearning that has pent up within me.

"I miss you too," sabi niya habang marahan na hinahampas ang dibdib ko. "Bwisit ka, sabi kong 'di ako iiyak eh. Nakakahiya dito pa tayo nag-drama sa SM."

Sa drive pauwi ay pinaliwanag niya sa akin ang nangyari mula sa flight niya pabalik dito at sa pag-alaga sa akin kagabi. Napatingin naman ako sa sasakyang nakasunod sa amin at balik sa daan. Nakita niya siguro ang aking ginawa kaya patuloy siyang nagsabi, "Si Reed nakilala ko sa una kong chemo session, nauna lang siya ng kaunti sa akin at halos magkasabay din kaming natapos. At 'wag kang mag-alala, he's masturbate to you more than he'd ever to me, if not at all." I was taken aback so she further explained, "He's gay."

And after our first interaction, I don't know if that is supposed to make me feel better. Sure it eases my worries about my wife being taken away but now I fear for my own well-being. "Yeah, I don't  know how I should feel about that after he trapped me in a bear hug for 5 minutes —all while I didn't know who he was."

"Huwag kang mag-alala, Halimaw. Puputulin ko 'yong alaga no'n 'pag inulit niya 'yon. Chansingan ka ba naman, sa harap ko pang asawa? Kapal ng mukha ng beking 'yon," she said with a smile on her face.

So I smiled too. If having to put up with, umm, whatever fantasies Reed has about me means seeing her this happy, it's worth it. Kung sa bagay nga, malaki ang dapat kong pasasalamat ko sa kaniya kasi sinamahan niya si Tabs sa mga araw na sobrang naghihirap siya at nangangailangan ng kaibigan.

That night, I slept like a log. Doon lang ako nakatulog ng maayos matapos ng dalawa at kalahating taon. I didn't even want to wake up the next day, just having her in my arms, inhaling her scent —I could stay in that position forever.

Kahit sa pagising ko ay 'di mawala ang ngiti sa mukha ko, lalong-lalo na nang nasilayan ko ang natutulog niyang mukha. "God, she's beautiful. Thank you for bringing her back," sabi ko. Hindi ako ang tipo ng tao na sobrang religious, but in that moment, I was so overcome with gratitude that I couldn't stop thanking the Lord for her return.

"Thank you for coming back," I whispered in her ear and planted a kiss on her forehead. Gumalaw siya ng kaunti pero nanatiling nakatulog. Even with the lack of feeling in my arm from her using it as a pillow, I didn't want to to change this quiet, blissful moment.

Welcome home, my love.

Note: Smells like ending to me 😇