Incision | Rilaya

five ☼

Girl Meets Temptation

[ R i l e y ]

"Maya," I sobbed, sitting in my room, in the dark, like how Maya used to.

I couldn't think of anything else but her. It was all Maya, Maya and Maya.

I can't believe she would do that to herself. I thought she was getting better, but no, she wasn't, she was only getting worse.

Cory knocked on the door, I heard his voice creaking through the door, his voice was nearly inaudible but I heard him say, "Get out of there, staying in there won't help, you're so useless"

I cried harder. Ever since Maya's attempted suicide, Cory and Katy hated me even more than they did before.

Maybe this was what Maya felt like; worthless, hopeless, and straight up crappy.

I wonder what it would feel like to cut...

Maya had a box of 'valuables' and one of the many things inside of it were her knives, blades and razors- her cutting tools.

I held the box close to me, holding it up to my chest before breaking into another sob.

I opened it slowly, pulling out a few papers, and it uncovered her cutting tools.

I picked up a razor, and put the box on the floor, right next to me.

I brought the razor up to my wrist with my trembling hands, and pressed it against my skin.

This would hurt, Riley.

I don't care. All I care about is Maya, and she's slowly being taken away from me too.

One half of me told myself to press the razor down, and slide it across my wrist.

But the other half told me it wasn't worth it. I had a family- it's broken, but they're still here. I have friends- Farkle and Sarah, they cared about me, right?

No. No one does. Not even Maya.

Not even my own father for crying out loud.

A trail of tears streamed down my cheeks, and I decided to push the blade down.

Blood stared spewing out of my arm.

You're going to regret this, Riley.

No. I won't.

I planted another cut.

And another.

And I kept going.

Until my arm was filled with cuts.

I didn't want to stop.

I guess I let temptation get the best of me.

I put the blade back, and covered it back up with the papers Maya had written on.

Then I remembered.

I picked up a piece of paper on Maya's desk this morning.

I reached into my pocket, trying not to let my wrist hit the sides of my pocket, and I pulled out the crumpled piece of paper.

I opened it up slowly, afraid of what it would unravel.

🔺

Exams are in literally 4 days, and I'm sooooo excited to just get it over with, so I don't have to be stressed anymore.

Anyways, tomorrow is the last day of school, nuuhhh, and it's also my birthday (hint hint nudge nudge)

So yeah that's it.

I'll update more once exams are over. Thank you so much for leaving all those amazing comments, you guys never fail to make my day.

I'm so sorry this is short by the ways. And, I'll try to write more in Maya's POV.

Bye!!
- xo, Rowan ☁️