Incision | Rilaya

fourteen ☼

Girl Meets Silver Nights

[ R i l e y ]

There wasn't actual point in going. Cory and Katy decided that it would be a 'great' idea that we go on a vacation, since it's nearly Christmas break. Except, Maya wasn't going, she insisted on staying here with 'gammy hart'

I sat back, and watched as Cory and Katy bickered about how exciting this would be, and somehow I found it amusing. Maybe after this, I might hate them a little less?

I wanted to spend my Christmas with Maya, more than anything in the world. Because no matter where I go in this world, she always made me feel at home, and I needed that.

I haven't really seen her since my birthday, she came home and all, but she stayed in her room again. I wonder if that note Lucas wrote her was putting her into a state of depression.

"Riles, come over here" Cory put his hand out, leading me to him. I got up from my current spot, and walked over to him and Katy with stiff robotic movements.

"Don't be afraid, we're not going to hurt you." Katy smiled, taking a strand of my hair into her bony fingers.

"I know that, but do you even care that your other- your real daughter hides in her room every single day? Cause I don't think you do, and she needs someone to be there for her. You're a selfish prick." I stepped back, but Cory grabbed my wrist.

"You don't talk to your mother like that" he glared into my eyes, holding the stare for a few intimidating seconds.

"She's not my mother" I spat, shaking my wrist out of his filthy hands, "And I'm not going to spend 2 weeks away from New York with you two!" I jerked around, and raced up the stairs.

By the time I reached my room, I was already drenched in tears and regrets. Half of me sort of wanted to go on this vacation. Sometimes it might help to get away, I don't like being in New York all the time, because as much as I loved this place, I feel trapped here.

And maybe I was hoping to patch things up with Cory- I mean, my dad. But that looked impossible seeing as I just came in and crushed everything between us.

Everything I had hope for was turning against me, and smashing me even more. Maya was right, I was wrong.

I just need someone.

I got to the ground, and curled up, with my back pressed against the door. There was no need for me to be here, and alive. No one dead or living needs me. I used to believe everyone was born into the world to make another person happy. But I made everyone miserable.

I had to sit back and watch all the people I really cared about- and who cared about me right back- leave me one by one, until now, I was left all alone.

I crawled across the squeaking floorboards over to my bed, I reached underneath, and pulled out Maya's box. I pulled out a razor, and gripped it in my trembling, cold hands.

It felt exactly like the last- and first time- I attempted to cut myself, and I felt the emptiness rise from my stomach, ripping through my heart. I sat there, crouching, holding a razor in my shaking hands. I brought the freezing sharp edge to my wrists.

I held it there for a while, but I loosened my grip, and let it drop to the ground.

This wasn't the Riley Maya fell in love with. Maya fell in love with the hopeful, optimistic and 'super-klutz' Riley. I'm going to stay strong, for Maya.

I shoved everything under my bed, back where it belonged, back where it should stay, and got up to my jelly-like feet. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and pulled strand of hair out of my face tear stained face. I marched up to Maya's room with confidence, and turned her door knob.

"Maya! You're going to let me fix you! Stop shutting me out, I'm sick of that, I know you're breaking down, please, just let me help you." I barged into her room, and found her with her back faced towards me. She sat on her bay window, with the windows wide open in front of her.

"You can't fix everything, Riley" her voice was the same as always, but there was something different about this, something I've never heard in her voice before. It was hope, something I wish I really had right now.

"No, I can fix this."

"You think you can fix me?" she spun around, with her legs in midair. She stood up when her feet reached the wooden boards beneath her. She looked at me, and there was hope in her eyes too, "You would waste your time on me? You would really try to put me back together, make me feel wanted, and actually stay?"

"I-If it's the last thing I do," I said softly. We walked towards each other, and held each other in our arms.

"Good, I'm counting on it" we pulled apart, and Maya had her hands rested on my shoulder.

We sat down at her bay window, and we looked out into the roaring cars, and there was snow falling from the lit up sky. I looked at Maya, her eyes were shining brighter than the silver stars that were placed into the sky as of right now.

"Hey, Maya?"

"Yes, Riley?" she faced me, and hope glistened from her eyes, reminding me of the stars outside.

I reached out to the snow, just so a snowflake could land on my already freezing hands, "Here's to the silver nights"

"Here's to the silver nights."

❀

oh my gosh you guys, I literally stayed up ALL NIGHT to type this, which means I'm also half asleep so I apologise if this sucks...

and my horrible writer's block isn't the only block that's real, BA-DUMTSSS AHAAHAHA AHA Ah aH aha ha h a why aren't you laughing?

anyways, thanks for reading, leave a comment or something idk