Incision | Rilaya

twenty six ❥

Girl Meets Void

[ M a y a ]

Four months. That's around 120 days. I understood the need for this hide-away, but my safety meant no Riley, and I would rather turn myself in than go through this another day.

Ever since that night, scattered images of the looks on everyone's faces, the blood-stained knives— Lucas holding the knife to my throat— ran through my mind consistently.

I live day to day slowly waiting for all the negative feelings to subside, or consume me otherwise.

A lot has changed since the last time I saw her. For one thing, I was supposedly dead, which meant I was not granted permission to reach out to her, no matter how badly I wanted to.

In all honesty, I would destroy myself just to make sure she's alright, putting myself out there for people like Lucas to trace down and kill is nothing. God, I could start fires with what I feel for her.

Nothing makes my heart warmer than seeing her happy. I loved every aspect of her. From the way her eyes lit up with hope to the way her voice goes high-pitched whenever she's passionate or excited about something.

I just wanted to know how she was doing.

Being overwhelmed with nostalgia at 2 in the morning became apart of my daily routine. There was not one night since my 'death' that I slept in peace.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut my mind down, but as tired as I was physically, my brain did not feel the same way.

_____

The next day kicked off with me rolling (I mean, falling) off my bed. Despite the fact that I had no school, or anything I was obligated to do for that matter, Josh— the one who's been taking care of me for the past 4 months— still preferred that I woke up early.

I got up and got ready, before heading out of my room.

"Josh? You here?" I walked down the dimly lit corridor, and reached his door at the end, "Uncle Josh?"

No reply.

This came across as weird, considering the fact that he was usually up at this time.

I placed my hand on the cold door knob, and began to turn it, before I stopped myself. What if I see something that I don't want to see? After everything I've been through, I wouldn't be surprised if I find Josh's lifeless body on the ground.

I turned around to return to my room, but my gut told me to open the door. And that's exactly what I did.

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ayy hi. i know my update schedule (if you can call it one) is screwed up beyon repair, but i promise i'll try as haaarddd as i could to update more frequently :)

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- row