Incision | Rilaya

ten ☼

keep in mind that this is a Rilaya fanfiction

Girl Meets Regrets

[ M a y a ]

I could've went about my day, perfectly fine, but one particular question was waved into my mind, it was ringing every five seconds, to make sure I wouldn't forget it.

Was Riley messing with me?

After all this time, was this all just some sort of game to her? I thought since we were best friends, she would be one of the people that stays, unlike my dad, Katy, and... others.

"Maya..." The sound of Riley's angelic voice snapped me out of my funk. I turned around, and smiled.

"Hey Riles"

"I'm sorry you had to see that... I don't even like him" she started, "I guess you were right, maybe I'm not normal, maybe I actually like... you"

She might be messing with me. She's going to get close to me, make me feel attached, and leave.

I wanted to tell her how I felt about her, too, but one half of me was too scared to lose her like this.

I shook my head, smiling, "No Riley, don't do this to yourself, you don't deserve all this, you should be accepted into society, like you always wanted, and not let Darby and her little possy kick you around. Hey, I see the way you look at Farkle. You love him, not me, alright?"

"Peaches..."

"Hush Riles" I placed a finger to her lips, telling her to stop talking.

"No, don't tell me to hush, I thought you wanted this, Maya, I love you, and I always have."

"What are you doing, Riles?"

"I'm not normal, I-" her voice was cracking. She was cut off by the roaring laughter, coming from Darby and her friends

"I knew it!" Darby cackled, "Riley Matthews is gay!!"

"By 'not normal' I meant bisexual, I love Farkle, not Maya" she chirped, smiling at them.

I knew she would do this.

I knew it.

So I ran, away, regretting that I ever met her, regretting that the suicide attempt didn't work out like I hoped.

Did she expect me to trust her after all this?

I ran out of the school, and down the street. My feet was hitting the pavement, and it felt as if the sun has its target locked on me.

The aroma of busy shops were surging through my mind, and cars, and trucks roared past me, along with a big gush of air.

There were people walking around too, and I did my best to avoid everyone, to prevent myself from crashing into anyone.

"Wait Maya!" A distant voice was ringing in my ears, I jerked my head around, and saw that it was Riley- who used to make me smiley, but lost the ability to as of just now.

"What do you want?" I let out a breath of air, or more like a sigh.

"Did I hurt you..." her voice was soft. It sounded as if she let out a little squeak, but she was adorable like that. Maybe she was scared of what I might say, it might make her feel bad, and she would have to conjure a few more lies to make me happy.

Because that's just the kind of person she is.

"No, I hurt myself" I showed her the cuts that have been carved into my wrist, before covering up my arm once again, and casually walking in the other direction, not showing any regrets at all.

Because that's just the kind of person I am.

🔺

I was so excited for summer, bc then I get to do what I love doing 24/7

which is obviously writing

I'm completely losing myself rn

I was going to stay up to write, like I did last year, but now I'm spending my nights staying up and regretting everything that's happened in 7th grade

I wish I could redo the entire year

but putting all that negative stuff aside, it's finally summer, which means NO MORE STRESS, and no more WAKING UP EARLY AHDJAHA

YAS

I'm really sorry this one sucked, I didn't proofread this or edit this, so if you see any mistakes, please tell me! Thank you

- Rowan ⛅️