Incision | Rilaya

seven ☼

Girl Meets Total Spin Offs

[ R i l e y ]

I could see the picture of that note flashing in my mind, over and over again.

Maya's somewhat messy handwriting was imprinted in my brain, making my head spin.

I'll never be good enough,

Maya, why

I have a new family, but it's not for me

I wish I was there to stop her from writing.

My sister, my straight step-sister's name was Riley Matthews

Why did she add the word 'straight' into that sentence!? Was she not straight herself?

And oh, Riley was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. From the way her brunette hair cascaded down her back in perfect curls, to the way the fire in her eyes lit up when she looked towards the sun.

Maya thought I was beautiful. And that I had perfect curls.

I love her, in many more ways than just a friend, but the feelings will never be mutual.

Oh, Maya, if only you knew...

So, I'm ending it. I can't stand all this judgement, this pain, this feeling of being unwanted.

By now, tears were streaming down my face like a waterfall.

If you're reading this, I'm probably reading this with you.

~

"How's Maya?" Farkle broke the silence that fell befween us, as we sat on his front porch. We were supposedly studying for some big test, but we decided to take a break.

"I haven't seen her in a while..." I blinked back my tears, not wanting to cry in front of Farkle.

I've always seen him as a close friend, or like a little brother- a bird that needs to be protected, as Maya would say.

But right now, as I was sitting here with him, it felt as if my heart was racing so fast, I would pass out any minute.

I'm not catching feelings for him am I?

Maybe it would be a good thing. I would finally be accepted into society, and I would forget about that depressed, suicidal handful of a person.

I'm tired of having her mood effect mine anyways.

I need to take a break, from all this.

This isn't like me, would I really have the heart to let me angel die like this?

Riley, pull it together.

"Riles?" Farkle's voice snapped me out of my chain of thoughts. I must've zoned out, "You okay?"

Maya, she used to call me Riles.

"Oh, yeah, yeah I'm great actually" I chirped, standing up, "I should go study alone, see you on Monday!"

I ran off, and headed for the hospital. I was finally going to see Maya.

~

She lay asleep, with her eyes shut, wandering into her own little fantasy, where she feels wanted, and happy, and loved.

I cared about her, but I'd rather leave her now than hurt her even more later on.

I swiped a strand of her honey blonde hair out of her face, and she blinked her ocean-blue eyes.

"L-Lucas?" she groaned, slowly getting up from her position.

I knew it. She's not different from other people, I was. And I was stupid, and naive enough to believe she actually had feelings for me.

"No, it's Riley" I spat, "But I'll go get your boyfriend for you if you like" I emphasised the word 'boyfriend' before running out of the room, drenched in tears and regrets.

🔺

This new wattpad update brings back memories bc it's like the old wattpad. Yay!!! It kind of reminds me of the first time I started writing, and it was so stupid, bc it was pretty much little me writing an entire book about my old crush and I- *cringes*

I'm never ever doing THAT again 😂😂

and I know you guys hear enough of my rambling, but please go check out my rant//status whatever book? thank youuu 💘

- rowboat