Best Part of Me

43

After separating with Ash and Jewell, I just decided to go home. Xav insisted to take me home but I just declined.

I want to be alone for now.

I don't know but I felt really empty and full at the same time. I was sad but I feel nothing. I feel numb and I just don't want to do anything now.

All I want to do was to sleep, and never woke up.

For all the things that was happening around me, for all those pain throughout the years, all sadness, it felt like it has pent up over and over until I feel like drowning now.

I let my body fall to my bed and buried my face on my pillow.

Inangat ko ang aking ulo ng marinig ang pagtunog ng aking cellphone. Kumunot ang noo ko ng makita ang pangalan ng isa sa aking katrabaho.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello, Zoe. Did you received the email?" He asked.

My forehead creased even more, I was clueless and I haven't checked anything yet.

"What email?" I asked. He sighed from the other line.

"The management decided to lay off your employment."

It felt like I heard nothing after that, my mind just collapsed and I haven't noticed I had ended the call.

I breath deeply trying to calm myself down.

I can't give up now. I can't let my life fall apart.

I took my phone again and find their names on my contacts and send them my message.

To: Zeph, Jordan

Are both available tonight? Let's overnight.

I sent them the message, trying to hold myself together, I just need someone to talk right now. When my phone rings, I immediately checked their replies.

Zeph: Sorry can't go tonight. I'm out of town:( I'll make sure to visit once I came back.

Jordan: Sorry Zoe, something urgent at work came up. My treat next time! Love you!

I smiled bitterly, a tear fell instantly from my eyes. I know, I understand, their world doesn't just revolve around me.

Reply: Oki! Take care both, love you!

I threw my phone away after I sent the message. I covered my head with a pillow and closed my eyes. The pillow cover started to be soaked with my tears that I didn't knew I shed, my heart was clenching and I feel really tired.

I just couldn't feel anything, not sad, not mad, not happy, nothing. I feel empty. Everything feels so dark inside my head. I started to had weird and ugly thoughts, but I tried my best to fight the urge.

I can't do that.

I can't give up now.

---

I woke up in the middle of the night since I was very hungry. I realized I fell asleep, which was probably a good thing.

Nagtungo ako sa kitchen at binuksan ang lahat ng cabinet ngunit wala ni isang pagkain ang nandoon. Huminga ako ng malalim at pinagmasdan ang kabuan ng apartment na tinutuluyan ko.

Everything was a mess, no stock of foods and I couldn't remember when was the last time I ate proper foods.

I can't remember when was the last time I cleaned my home, but everything was a complete chaos and mess.

I just realized that I thought I was moving on, I thought I got myself together but no.

My life was a complete mess.

I walked towards the sofa and just tried to watch television to remove all the thoughts inside my head.

Pagkabukas ko ng TV ay agad na bumungad ang news flash sa balita. Bumilis ang tibok ng aking puso ng makita ang larawan ng aking magulang sa TV. Reporters were flocking at them, I was confused so I raised the volume even more.

"Mr. and Ms. Madisson, ano po ang masasabi ninyo tungkol sa mga alegasyon sa inyo na nagdadawit sa inyong pangalan sa mga pagpatay at korapsyon?"

"Those were baseless accusations." My mother answered.

I was clenching on the remove very tightly.

"Ano po ang masasabi ninyo sa mga ebidensya na inilatag ni Atty. Mendez?" Tanong ng isa pang reporter.

My mouth gaped open, I was probably too lost and out of myself that I didn't knew Xav was about to expose them today.

I immediately run towards my bed and took my phone. I saw multiple missed calls from Xav, and he left a message.

From: Atty. Xav

"I sense that you were not on right condition so I didn't bother you anymore. We will start filing the cases tonight. Trust me, everything will end well. Rest well, I'll call you tommorow."

I couldn't wait for tommorow, I immediate dialed his number and after few rings he immediate picked up his phone.

"X-xav." I called.

"I guess you already heard the news?" He chuckled from the other line. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying, I nodded even I knew he wouldn't see me.

"Don't cry." He whispered from the other line, he could probably hear me sniffing.

"T-thank you Xav." I whispered.

"You don't have to thank me, Zoe. Remember what I told you? I'm doing this for my sister too."

"I..I know but I still want to thank you Xav." He chuckled again.

"No problem. I'm sorry but I need to go now, I will be busy these days because of this so I might not be able to call you for updates." He sounded sad and worried.

"I understand. I will visit your firm from time to time."

"Alright, Zoe. Let's see each other there. Goodnight!"

He ended up the call and it seems like he was really busy. I closed my eyes, trying to absorb everything.

It would surely be a long way to go for the trial and judgement but as long as I knew it has already started, it eased up my mind. I trust Xav to take care of the case since he also had personal reasons, I knew everything would end well.

Since the issues of my parents has blown up, I turned off my phone and burried it under the mountains of clothes. As much as I want to go out, I can't.

I was afraid everyone would recognize me and judge me and would probably even threw rocks or eggs at me. I instantly run towards the door and made sure it was locked. I pulled the window blinds and locked up myself inside the dark and cold apartment.