Best Part of Me

28

I don't know where I should go. I was stuck here in a middle of nowhere, I turned of my phone because I wanted to be alone. I want to compose my thoughts, I want some time for my self to gather all of my remaining strength and will to live.

I went outside of the car and sat at the hood, I'm here at the edge of the cliff, with no one beside me. I breathe deeply and looked above the sky, it was already midnight and the stars were brightly shining tonight. It felt like they were watching me agonize from the painful truth.

I don't know where and how would I start, I don't know what would I do the moment the sun rises tomorrow, I have literally nothing. No money, no clothes, no home, no butler, and no one.

Before, I thought that they were spoiling me because I was their only daughter. I thought they were giving me all the luxury, all the privileges and everything that I wanted because they love me. But everything were just for a show, they made me like an investment, they invest so much so they could use me in the future. Not only to be used for wealth and power but to be an accessory to bury their filthy secrets. I really feel like a shit right now.

I couldn't even run towards the person I love, I couldn't even have the hug and comfort that I badly needed right now. I couldn't even look at his eyes without feeling the guilt and pain. We destroyed him, and everything in him, and I felt like it was on me. My parents took away the happiness they deserve, and the sanity of her mother. I don't even know how would I start explaining things to him, without him leaving me.

I already felt the coldness of the air so I went back in the car. I started the engine but I don't know where should I go. I've been crying for hours that my eyes were already sore.

Sumandal ako sa upuan at napagdesisyunang buksan ang cellphone ko. 158 missed calls from Ash, 56 from Jonas, 38 from Jordan, and 20 from Zeph, that's a lot. Tuloy tuloy rin ang pasok ng text messages galing sa kanila, it almost reached thousands.

From: My Ash<3

:Where the fuck are you?
:Avery!!
:ZOE AVERY!!
:ANSWER MY FUCKING CALL!
:I'm worried. Where are you?
:Tangina Avery
:I went to your house but no one was there. Where are you, love? Please.
:DAMN IT ANSWER IT!

I thought I was done crying but here I am again, My heart was aching terribly. I sobbed really hard inside my car, I'm so sorry Ash.

I opened some other text messages, and all of them were just asking where I am right now. I froze when my phone rang, Ash was calling and I don't know if I would answer it. I don't want to tell everything yet, I'm not prepared for this, and I don't think I will ever be. I wiped my tears and stop myself from sobbing, I breathe deeply and stared at the screen before answering the call.

"Hey." I answered.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Bahagya kong nailayo sa tenga ko ang cellphone sa sobrang lakas ng sigaw niya. I bit my lips to stop myself from crying.

"Where are you?" I asked him trying not to let my voice broke.

"NO, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? STAY WHERE YOU FUCKING ARE AND WAIT FOR ME!" He shouted again, I could feel how angry he is right now. I covered my mouth because I felt my tears coming, guilt was consuming me and I don't know how to deal with it. I sniffed and stopped myself sobbing.

"Let's meet at the city park." I answered. He became silent for a moment before he answered.

"Are you crying? I'll be there in a minute." I did not answer him and I just dropped the call, I started my engine and drove towards the city park. It was already 1am, the park was filled with lights, but it was empty. I saw Ash from my distance, he was leaning on his car, waiting for me. If he only knew.

When he saw he, he immediately ran towards me and buried me in his arms, he hugged me very tight.

"I'm so fucking worried Avery!" He said, I buried face on his chest, pressing my lips to stop myself from sobbing. I was afraid to touch him, but I slowly encircled my arms on his waist.

I was so uncertain of everything, I was afraid, I was drained, and I felt really empty, but his hug just cured everything. I suddenly felt safe and secured, that no one could ever harm me, nor hurt me. I wonder if it would be the same if he knew everything.

I felt him caressing my hair and kissing the top of my head, but he wasn't saying anything. I like how he decided not to say anything because he could probably sense how shitty my life was right now.

"What's wrong, love?" He whispered, if this was a normal day, my heart would probably turn wild because of that endearment but tonight, it wasn't. Everything was just pure pain and guilt. It was as if a cue to let my emotions burst, I hugged him tight and sobbed on his chest.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I'm sorry that you have to go through hell because of my family.

"For what? It's okay." He said trying to comfort me. No Ash, it's not. I know it will never be okay.

He suddenly pulled from the hug and lifted my chin. I saw worry, and sadness in his eyes, he wiped my tears and kissed my forehead.

"Let's go home." Umiling ako sa kanya.

"I...I d-don't want to go home." I whispered, he looked surprised but he smiled at me. And I don't even have a home.

"Okay then." He pulled me to his car and opened the door for me.

"I'll ask someone to take your car to our house." He drove away from the city park, I just closed my eyes and calmed myself, he's not talking, maybe giving me time for myself.

He parked his car at the parking lot of his resort, for the 3rd time, we're here. It was already 3am in the morning, I really felt so tired and drained, I also saw how tired Ash was so we checked in immediately and entered the room.

"Maliligo lang ako." Paalam ko, he nodded and gave me a paper bag, mga damit yun na hindi ko nagamit dati na binili ko.

Kinuha ko iyon mula sa kanya at mabilis na naligo, I wore shorts and an oversized shirt, I went out of the bathroom and saw Ash watching television while lying down on the bed. He smiled then tapped the space beside him. I sat beside him but he pulled me to lie down.

"Just rest." He said and kissed my forehead. I smiled and hugged him.

"Maligo ka na, sabay tayo matulog." Sagot ko, he smirked maliciously so I rolled my eyes.

"Tulog lang!" Sigaw ko, he suddenly laughed and stood up.

"Wala naman ako sinasabi eh." Natatawang sabi niya. Pumasok na siya sa bath room at naligo, I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

God, I don't want to lose him.

He went back to the bed while drying his hair with a towel. He really hates using hair blowers, huh. After drying his hair, he lied down beside me.

He faced me and cup my face.

"Goodnight, love. I love you." He whispered. I just stared at him, unable to say a word, I want to stay like this for a while. I want him beside me, but I guess it wouldn't go as I want it to be. I smiled and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, and I'll do everything for you." I felt like crying again so I immediately hugged him and closed my eyes.