Best Part of Me

37

"Let go of everything that hurts you, learn how to give up when everything isn't worth fighting for anymore." He said.

I burst in tears as they watch me with pity in their eyes.

"Hay, sino ba naman kasi nagsabing puntahan mo? After all these years, tingin mo ba walang magbabago?" She said as she was trying to fix my messy and wet hair.

I don't even know what to say.

It's been years ago but the pain has never changed. It was still as painful as the first time he said he doesn't like me. All the memories felt like it was just yesterday when it all happened.

"Shh. Everything will be alright." He whispered while caressing my hair.

I've been hearing those words over and over again. Will it ever be alright? Parang hindi naman.

Shit keeps on happening over and over again. Thought I had moved on, but I still haven't. Ako nalang yung naiiwan sa nakaraan, while everyone has changed and moved forward.

I spent whole day just crying and breaking down. I thought my tears has ran out pero hindi pa rin pala. I asked Zeph and Jordan to left me alone for now, they initially refused but left me eventually.

---

Another day has come. My body feels heavy and my eyes were puffy. I stood up and looked at the mirror and I looked like a zombie.

I sighed and tried to remove everything from my thoughts. I want to skip working today but I couldn't, hindi naman na ako mayaman. I need money to keep living kahit ayoko na.

I started to dress up, and put light make up to conceal my eye bags.

I need to start moving forward too.

For myself.

--

"Okay ka lang? Kaya mo ba magtrabaho?" Tanong ng manager ko.

"Okay lang po ma'am." I answered. I started mixing the coffee and put it on the bar tray. She just sighed and nodded.

"You can rest if you need just tell me." She said worriedly. I just nodded and smiled lightly. Nakakahiya na rin sa kanya, she's been kind to me since I started and I don't want to abuse that kindness. I know we're short of staff so I need to work today.

"Table 1 hot brewed coffee." Sabi ng isang kasama ko. I nodded and started preparing for it.

Nilagay ko na iyun sa bar tray at hinatid sa table 1.

"1 hot brewed coffee." Nilapag ko ang kape sa lamesa. I took a quick glance on the middle aged man while he was reading news paper. He took a sip of coffee and looked at me.

"Thanks." He said. He suddenly stared at me, I felt uneasyness so I avoided his eyes and just smiled lightly.

"Enjoy your coffee." I said as I was about to walk away.

"Hija, natatandaan mo ba ako?" He said, making me stop. Tumingin ako sa kanya at kumunot ang noo ko.

"Sorry. Hindi po." Magalang na sagot ko. Mukhang nagdadalawang isip pa ito at tila sinisuri kung ako nga ba ung kakilala nya. Huminga ito ng malalim at tumango.

"Pasensya na. Akala ko ikaw yung hinahanap ko. Magkamukha kasi kayo." I just smiled akwardly.

Inayos na nito ang kanyang gamit at nag iwan ng bente sa lamesa bilang tip. Kinuha na nito ang kape niya at naglakad na palabas ng shop. Tinanaw ko siya hanggang sa makalabas siya.

He stopped infront of a parked taxi infront of the shop.

Taxi.

All of the memories suddenly flashed on my mind pero iwinaksi ko iyon. Malakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko sa hindi malamang dahilan.

I unconsciously run after him. Pasakay na ito sa driver's seat ngunit pinigilan ko ang pagsara nito ng pintuan. Nagtaka naman ito pero agad din siyang bumaba.

"May naiwan ba ako?" Nagtatakang tanong nito. Umiling ako habang humihingal.

I look stupid and desperate but I couldn't waste any chance.

"A-are you looking for someone?" Hinihingal na tanong ko. Kumunot noo ito pero tumango.

"Hinahanap ko yung babaeng naisakay ko dati sa taxi. Ngunit isang taon na makalipas iyon, siguro ay nakalimutan ko na rin ang tunay na itsura niya."

Mas lalong lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko. I had this strong feeling na siya yun at nasa kanya pa ang hinahanap ko.

"Y-yung kinuha po ba ng mga armadong lalaki?" Kinakabahang tanong ko.

Bakas ang pag aalala sa mukha nito at agad na hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"Ikaw nga yun. Alam mo bang hindi ako halos pinatutulog ng konsensya ko tuwing naiisip kong iniwan kita." Mangiyak ngiyak na sabi nito. Umiling ako at ngumiti sa kanya.

"Okay lang ho ako. Pasensya na po sa nangyari noon." Binitawan nito ang kamay ko at tumingin sa kanyang orasan.

"Halika sumama ka sakin, nasa bahay yung naiwan mong gamit. Sana ay nasa bahay pa ang anak ko." Mukhang nagmamadali ito at agad akong pinasakay sa passenger seat. Hindi ko na naisip na magpaalam sa trabaho ng marinig kong nasakanya pa ang hinahanap ko.

Nagsimula na ito magdrive at tahimik lang kami sa byahe dahil mukhang nagmamadali siya. Tumigil kami sa isang malaking bahay, at sabay kaming bumaba.

Don't tell me bahay niya ito?

"Dali, nasa anak ko kasi ung mga papel na naiwan mo sana ay nanjan pa siya madalas kasing busy yun at laging wala sa bahay." Patakbo kaming pumasok sa loob, madaming tanong ang nasa isip ko pero hindi ko na iyon inintindi.

Pagkapasok namin ay siya namang paglabas ng isang lalaki mula sa isang pintuan.

He was wearing a very formal attire and a bag on his left hand, his right hand holding a cup of coffee.

His forehead creased while looking at me and the man.

He has this very formal look, his hair is very neat and I could smell his manly perfume even from afar.

"Xavier buti nandito kapa." Hinihingal na sabi ng matanda.

"Di ba halata, Pa?" Sarkastikong sagot nito.

Umiwas na ng tingin ang tinawag niyang Xavier at nagsimulang ayusin ang mga papel sa ibabaw ng lamesa. Nilagay niya yun sa isang case at sinara.

"Hindi ba't may binigay ako sayo dati na isang envelope? Ito na yung may-ari nun, ano nga bang pangalan mo hija?" Hinila niya ako palapit sa lalaking iyon.

"Zoe Avery po." Sagot ko. Tumigil sa pagaayos si Xavier at tumitig sa akin na tila may ibang gusto ipakahulugan.

"Ito nga pala ang anak ko--"

"Atty. Xavier Mendez." Pagputol nito sa kanyang ama at sabay abot ng kamay nito sakin.