Best Part of Me

36

Girlfriend.

Parang sirang plaka na paulit-ulit tumutunog sa pandinig ko ang kataga na iyon.

I was loss for words. Para lang akong tanga na nakatayo sa harapan nila. We were silent for God knows how long until I decided to break it.

"R-really?" I laughed bitterly and diverted my eyes somewhere. The pain was unbearable, but I tried my best to stop producing tears. I bit my lips and nodded.

I smiled at them.

"T-that's... that's good to hear." I lied.

Why did I even went here? I took one step backwards, before I decided to finally ran away.

I went out of the building, it was raining but I don't care. I just wanted to run away from everything.

Sobrang sakit, sobrang bigat, para akong mababaliw. I continued running, hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin ng paa ko pero pinili kong tumakbo palayo, palayo sa lahat ng bagay.

My mind was literally blank, but I stopped on my track when I heard a loud car horn. I froze on where I was standing when I saw a car approaching me, it felt like everything went slow motion, my mind was torn between running or waiting for it.

I closed my eyes, I was ready to be hit but a strong arms suddenly held my waist and pulled me away from the middle of the road. I immediately opened my eyes and gasped.

It was cold, but suddenly my body felt so warm and comforted. My mind couldn't process everything that happened, parang kanina lang ay nasa bingit ako ng kamatayan.

"What the fuck." He whispered. My mouth literally gaped open when I recognized the voice. I wanted to see his face, or met his eyes but he hugged me tight, like his life depends on me, I could feel his heavy breathing, and I could hear his fast heart beat.

He held my shoulder and pushed me so he could see my face. I gulped when I saw how angry and how mad he is.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He shouted really loud.

Inilibot ko ang mata ko, walang tao sa paligid dahil malakas ang ulan, at may ilan ilan na sasakyan na dumaraan.

"A-anong ginagawa mo rito?" I asked but he just stared at me and clenched his jaw.

"You were almost hit by a car! Magpapakamatay ka ba?!" Sigaw niya.

"Kung oo, ano naman sayo?" I answered.

"Kung oo, anong gagawin mo? Kung oo, masasaktan ka ba? Kung oo, mapapatawad mo ba ko? Ano naman sayo kung mamatay ako? Ano naman sayo?!" I sobbed and punched his chest.

"Stop." He said while trying to caught my hand but I continued punching him.

"Walang araw na ginawa ang Diyos na hindi kita inisip Ash. Lahat kinaya ko para sayo, lahat nilampasan ko para sayo kasi umaasa ako na baka balang araw mapatawad mo pa ako, na baka balang araw maisipan mo rin na tanungin ako kung okay lang ba ako, kung ano na ba nangyayari sa buhay ko. I had to work on my own, I had to live on my own, I lost literally everything, ikaw nalang pinanghahawakan ko Ash eh. B-bakit... bakit ang unfair mo naman?" He tried pulling me and holding my arms but I pushed him away.

"May girlfriend ka na pala? May sakit ka pala? Marami na palang nagbago, pero bakit parang naiiwan ako sa nakaraan natin Ash?! Bakit ako nalang yung naiwan dito? Ilang beses kong sinubukan na magalit sayo, pero hindi ko magawa." I shouted, I heard my voice broke but that didn't stop me. He just stood there, accepting every words I threw at him, letting me shout all the frustrations that I've been carrying for year.

His eyes were red and calm, and he was pale. I immediately remembered his condition so I stopped punching him.

Mabilis kong hinawakan ang kamay niya, all I could feel was worry and guilt.

"B-bumalik ka na sa loob!" I pulled him but he pulled me back.

"Ano ba Ash may sakit ka!" I shouted.

"I'm s-sorry." He whispered. Natigil ako sa paghatak sa kanya. I don't know but those words made my heart beat fast, I don't know what that meant so I stared at him, waiting for the next words he was about to say.

"I.. I was wrong. I let my anger to consume me, that I forgot what you sacrificed for me. I'm sorry."

The whole time, I was just staring at him, admiring his facial features and loving everything about him like the first time I saw him. He grew thin, and pale, but he looked perfect in my eyes. My heart was aching terribly, those were the words that I've been wanting to hear but why does it sounded so painful? He diverted his eyes away from me, and breathe deeply. He pursed his lips, it was raining hard but I could clearly distinguish his tears from rain drops.

I held his hands and pressed it tightly.

"A-ash, it's okay." I told him, he clenched his jaw and bowed his head. I tried smiling, assuring him that it was fine, and all I just wanted was for us to start over again.

"I'm s-sorry." He repeated. My smile instantly faded, I tried to read his mind but I couldn't.

"P-please forget about me." He continued.

Mabilis akong umiling, pakiramdam ko ay mas lalo akong nadudurog habang pinagmamasdan ang mata niya. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya gamit ang dalawang kamay ko pero mabilis niya itong binawi.

"I'm sorry." He repeated again.

"It's okay, we can start again--"

"I love her." He said, cutting me off.

It felt like I was hit by a lightning blast, my heart stopped beating for a while and I was unable to move. My hands slowly let go of his hand, all I could ever feel was pain and nothing more.

"Ash." I whispered. He wasn't looking at me and he was clenching his jaw.

"Ash, ang sakit."

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an: short update :(