Best Part of Me

35

My hands were literally shaking anf sweating as I followed her inside the hospital. I couldn't even stop my tears from flowing across my face.

It felt like my heart was being torn, and shattered over and over again.

She stopped walking and pointed the door in front of us.

"Go on." She whispered. I just stared at the door knob, unable to move, fearing of what I was about to witness.

She tapped my shoulder and pushed me near the knob. I slowly walked and carefully opened the door. The door creaked, a cold air from the air conditioner welcomed me.

I stepped inside the room and felt like my world just collapsed in front of me. I covered my mouth, to stop myself from sobbing.

He doesn't look sick but there were a lot of tubes connected to his body. He was facing the other side so I can't see his face. But his presence and aura made my heart beat fast, it never changed.

"Ma, kanina pa kita hinihintay." He sat down and looked at my way.

Our eyes met, we both froze from our places. He looked very surprised, his eyes widen and his lips gaped open. His eyes were filled with so much emotion that I couldn't even name them. He immediately avoided my eyes and I saw him clench his jaws.

"A-ash." I called, he looked at me again, this time, his eyes were cold and emotionless.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked full of anger and disgust. My heart just shattered into pieces, until now, he was mad and hates me, but I was partly relieved that his condition doesn't look worse.

He just lost some weight, nothing has really changed except that he was pale.

"I... I'm just worried, n-naisipan ko na bisita---" He cut me off with his sudden sarcastic laugh.

"Worried?" He suddenly stood up and removed all those medical tubes attached to him, my eyes widen so I run towards him to stop him from walking and making his condition worse.

"I don't need you. Get the fuck out." He said coldly. I stared at his hand, blood were flowing so I immediately reached for the button to call for nurse but he grabbed my hand to stop me from doing so.

"ANO BA ASH?! TANGA KA BA?!" I shouted really, really loud. He looked very surprise from my sudden outburst, I sobbed really loud and punched his chest.

After a year of self-loathing and blaming myself, I want to express my feelings. I wanted to tell him how horrible I went through without him I want to tell everything today. I thought that walking away and moving on would make everything easier but no, everything would always be here and I just need to let everything free from my chest.

"Why do you have to remove these shits?! Para lang mapaalis ako?!" I exclaimed pointing the medical apparatuses. He was just staring at me and watching me broke down.

"You were sick habang tayo pa, and you did not even bother telling me?! Kaya ba nakita ko kayo sa hospital ni Jewell noon? Kaya ba lagi mo sinasabi na sasamahan mo mama mo sa hospital? Is it because you were sick and you didn't even bother telling me?! Ganun ba ako kawalang kwenta sayo?!" He avoided my eyes and let go of my arms, I broke down in tears and sobbed really loud in front of him.

"Do I have to tell you that?" He smirked and stared at me emotionlessly.

"You lied to me, tapos ngayon nagagalit ka na tinago ko sayo lahat?" He said coldly.

"I never lied to you." I answered, he looked so enraged right now and he was really angry.

"You don't know anything because you never listen to me!" I exclaimed.

"Ano pa ba kailangan ko marinig? You chose your parents, you chose to hide everything, and then after destroying my life, you ran away? Bakit? Bakit kailangan mo pang magpakita?!" He shouted, his eyes turned red and a tear dropped from his eyes.

"I never chose them. Ikaw lagi kong pinipili Ash." I whispered painfully.

I heard my voice broke from the tears that I was trying to suppress really hard.

"Nung araw na magkikita tayo sa police station, I was kidnapped, they tried to took the evidence and threatened me. My life became mess trying to fight for your father's justice, why can't you see that?" I sniffed and wiped my tears but it just continued to flow endlessly.

"I can't accept the fact that they conspired against your father, so I left them. I was just finding for the right time to tell everything to you, natakot ako na baka iwan mo ko agad. I just wanted to be with you for a while. I'm sorry if you have to found out that way."

He was just staring at me, I couldn't even read his mind, his face was so emotionless.

"You don't know how I felt. Hindi mo alam yung pakiramdam Avery! Hindi mo alam yung nararamdaman ko." I smiled bitterly and shook my head.

"No, Ash. It was you, and it's you who never know what I feel." I paused, and wiped my tears.

"Alam ko gaano ka nasasaktan, alam ko na mahirap tanggapin, alam ko Ash kaya naiintindihan ko kung bakit ganyan ka ka-galit. I know Ash! I knew what you went through, I knew how tough it is. B-but... How a-about you? Alam mo rin ba pinagdaanan ko?"

He suddenly avoided my eyes and put his hands on his pocket.

"I don't care." Malamig na saad niya.

I was flustered for a moment, I tried to absorb everything.

Sobrang sakit.

Tuloy tuloy lang ang pagtulo ng luha ko.

I was about to say something when the door suddenly opened.

"Babe." Sabay kaming napatingin sa pumasok sa pinto. We were both shocked to see each other.

"Y-you're here." She told me.

She walked towards Ash and cling her arms on his.

"Okay na ba pakiramdam mo babe?" Tanong niya kay Ash, na tila wala pakialam sa presensya ko. Nagkatitigan kami ni Ash ngunit siya na ang unang umiwas.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." He answered.

"Gosh, it's bleeding!" She exclaimed when she saw Ash's hand. She suddenly glared at me.

"Why are you even here?! Look! He was hurt because of you. Hindi siya pwedeng ma-stress so please umalis ka na!"

I was frozen on where I was standing. I tried to figure out what's going on, but I only end up getting hurt with the thought that she called him 'babe'.

"Ash, c'mon tell her." She urged him. Ash just stared at my eyes.

"She's my girlfriend." He said.