White Lily (Dazai Osamu x gn! Reader)

Hard Target

"It's all just the same thing-" You groan aloud, smacking your face against the hard surface of your desk at home.

It's been a couple of weeks now since you started working under Dazai. The Port Mafia has been the same as it's always been considering that. You still take on all sorts of missions and they're still the bleak, repetitive, and boring tasks from before. If there's anything different though, it might just be the occasional banter between you and Dazai.

It usually happens in between missions. The two of you would be walking somewhere, or every once in a while, you both may even be in a car, but the thing you've noticed recently is that Dazai often will start a conversation with you. This is especially true of when it's just the two of you walking though.

You have a tendency to walk right behind him wherever you're intended location is. A part of it is because he doesn't care to explain anything to you. However, even if you were confident in leading you both to whatever place you're going to, you'd rather his eyes couldn't see you...He's a bit too perceptive and cunning for comfort.

In your guys' conversations, he may ask seemingly normal questions, but somehow, he'll get something more out of you. It's rather annoying.

Just last week, you can recall something he said. It was a particularly bad day for you...

"Hey, (Y/n)! How do you think I should kill the target today?" Dazai speaks to you without turning to face you as you both travel down the sidewalk. For once, he's got no games in his hands. He just has his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants this time.

"Why ask me?" You responded flatly, very much not having it with him.

"Well, why not you?" While you didn't see it, Dazai smirked in response to your answer. Meanwhile, you just exhale deeply.

"Hmph. Fine. Gun I guess."

You raise your arm up and point your index and middle fingers toward Dazai's back. Then you flick your wrist up twice, imitating the impact of firing a gun at him.

Dazai senses whatever you're doing and finally looks back at you. He even stops walking.

With your finger 'gun' still up, you imitate a shooting motion once again. You look Dazai's dark eye straight on as you do this. Your expression becomes slightly distorted as your eyebrows fold inward into a hostile expression and you seemingly 'shoot' Dazai.

"Pew. Pew." You say. You lower your fingers and just stare blankly at Dazai, your anger melting into dead indifference on your face.

Dazai simply chuckles at your antics. The man isn't even taking your mood today in full seriousness...

"Well, looks like someone doesn't like me~"

You respond in sarcasm.

"Oh really? Who's that? I wonder who~"

Dazai laughs again for a brief moment. However, Dazai's once playful and mischievous facial expression melts into a much more serious and mature one.

"(Y/n), let me ask you a question."

You just stare at him more, mocking him in your head. He says to let you ask him a question, but honestly, what would he do if you actually said no. Afterall, since when has he not asked you something and not gotten a response either?

Anticipation builds up in you as you await the question he wishes to propose. A slight breeze picks up, rustling your hair softly.

"You want me dead, don't you...(Y/n)."

You freeze.

Dead.

Him.

Dazai?

What if you could kill Dazai? Heh. That's a good question.

You could get rid of your only source of an unnatural death in this world. Your only source of fear and anxiety. The only true obstacle of yours.

Hm.

Is that...truly what you want? Shouldn't it be?

Dazai looks at you, waiting for you to respond to his question. Rather, more than that, he was waiting for you to confirm it. Maybe he even waited for you to pull up your real gun to his head this time. Who knows?

Moments passed. Or maybe it was a couple minutes? Or perhaps time just seemed to stretch endlessly across existence. He continued staring, as you on the other hand, remained paralyzed. Your mind was racing along with your pulse as you tried and failed to think up a response.

You stayed there frozen for so long that Dazai actually turned back around and started walking again. All he mumbled was, "Huh. I see then."

You were both silent for the rest of that mission. You finished the job cleanly and quickly as always.

That's how it went. Things went normal the day afterward, almost like nothing happened. Dazai became his usual childish self again. You came again as the stoic and temperamental person you always were. However, that interaction left you with a question: 'Do I despise Dazai?'

It makes sense to despise him to you. He set you up, he drags you around everyday as a sort of assistant, and he messes with you when you're on the clock. What is there to not dislike?

However, as annoying as he can be, something in you says it doesn't despise him. Somewhere, deep in your core, there's a part of you that's drawn to him. A fragment that wants to know more out of simple curiosity. A bit that feels like it's getting louder and louder as time goes by.

You ponder on this feeling for a bit. However, you quickly cast such thoughts aside.

"There's no time for this right now." You shake your head and take out a thin piece of paper and a pencil.

For the next couple of hours, you spent time deep in your thoughts as you pondered what you'd have to do to leave the mafia. You scribbled down your thoughts on the loose leaf paper in front of you.

Not too many things were clear right now. It was uncertain to you as to why Mori took you in in the first place. And it was uncertain to you just what your true value was to the mafia outside of your Gift. Especially, the reason Dazai kept you around isn't clear to you.

You wanted to know these things, but it seemed you'd have to dig around a bit more to do so.

One thing was for certain though:

As long as you have this agreement of yours going on with Dazai, you won't be able to escape the mafia.

You shake your head in discontentment. Surely there's some other solution to this. Afterall...

You just might have to kill Dazai.