White Lily (Dazai Osamu x gn! Reader)

Chance

You scoff. A dead expression takes the place of your look from before. You forcefully shove down your panic and anxiety.

"Betray the Port Mafia? And what makes you think that? You have no proof." Dazai's expression turns crazed in an instant. He looks as though he's enjoying the fact you're trying to hide it.

"Now now. Where's your proof of my own lack of proof~? Listen here. I know what you were planning." Dazai stands directly in front of you. Instinctively, you back up, but you're already hugging the railing of the building so you can't.

"I'll start by saying that the smugglers are in fact real, and they approached you with an offer for the Port Mafia. They detailed it to you and that much is exactly as you reported to Mori. To that point, you told no lies. However, you don't want to stay in the Port Mafia, do you? So, you decided to make a deal with the smugglers. One to get you out of the country and away from our organization."

Your sweat dropped. This guy is on point so far.

"This is all just speculation. I'm not leaving the Port Mafia. What would I have that smugglers would even want?"

"Still playing the innocent card? My, you're persistent (Y/n). The thing that you personally offered the smugglers had to do with your ability, both in Gift and combat. You seem like a very tired and irritable person. Or is that just today? Could a contributor to that be because you've been working double jobs the past couple days?"

"Double jobs? Exactly what-"

"The smugglers have been using you as a bodyguard for protection."

"Protection? From?!"

"Well if they've got tons of the newest artillery and firearms, surely someone would try to steal it. Probably rival smugglers is my bet."

You click your tongue. The panic in you is being replaced by annoyance. How did this guy figure everything out...?

"You can't be sure, Dazai-"

"I'm certain though~"

Why the heck does he care...Your chance at freedom...It was so close. You would've only had a few more days until you could've escaped with those smugglers...If only-If only it hadn't been this guy you were sent on a job with...

You can't find any words, so you stare intensively at the ground. Dazai grabs your chin and forces you to look at him.

"You don't have very many options now, do you? You could try to run, but It's not like you'd be successful. There's also the possibility of fighting me, but I urge you not to-I'd rather not, personally. Port Mafia policy says I kill you now though. We just found out that I'm fully capable of such a thing. So tell me, why shouldn't I kill you this instant?"

Anxiety grips at you. You're paralyzed both in body and in mind. Your world is spinning. You have no way to respond to such a question.

'Why shouldn't I kill you?' You don't know. You really don't. If you were in his position, you'd probably kill you as well. It makes perfect sense to do so.

Dammit. So close yet...In the end, you never got your freedom. No matter where you go, its always been the same; The things you wish for are always out of reach.

You sigh.

"Just kill me then. I won't run or fight. I'm done. I'm just so done. Honestly, give me the knife-I'll do it."

Wait a minute...

As you say those words though, an idea pops into your head-A glimmer of hope.

You glance behind you, and quickly look back.

"After experiencing pain for the first time, I didn't think you'd be so eager to die. I expected you'd try to run..."

Following your idea, you lean against the railing, allowing your weight to fall onto it. Your grip the bars tightly.

"...Afterall, (Y/n), I can see that's what you're trying to do."

Your grip on the bars slackens. You let go completely. You allow yourself to start slipping on the other side of the rails. You close your eyes, and await the impact of the ground. As long as Dazai isn't touching you, you can kiss the ground no problem-You'd still be alive and you wouldn't even feel a thing.

However, you realize you're not falling quite yet. Panic takes you as you realize Dazai has you. He's holding you...and the two of you are both about to fall. If he lets go of the rail and shifts his weight toward you at all, you'll both be subject to gravity as it pulls you down toward a violent death.

You yell and fight to get out of his grasp. If you can just get over the edge of the railing, you'd be saved. You wouldn't die on impact as long as this guy wouldn't interfere anymore-

"Aw, (Y/n). I didn't know you wanted to have a double suicide! That's a genius idea! I still had one more thing to say to you."

You aren't having it though. You continue struggling to escape his grasp.

"I've got a new deal if you're willing to take it. A pact with the devil you could call it~ I suggest you take it."

Wait what?

And then he lets go of the rail.

The two of you race toward the ground.

Everything flashes before you, fragmented.

You see your first home, and you vaguely remember the way you were shut in all the time by your family.

You see see the faces of your kidnappers a little later and recall the way you were used after that.

You see the day you joined the Port Mafia. And the way Mori offered his hand and promised you a place here.

This life of yours...the moment you hit the ground, it'll be gone. All you once were, and all you are now. No matter how broken it is or how you've struggled... It'll cease to exist.

At least at that idea, you shed a tear.

"Dammit Dazai, I'll take your stupid deal. Just let go."

"Well if you say so~ I knew you'd take it."

With that, you suddenly collide with the ground. Everything goes dark for a moment.

But then you open your eyes.

You stare up at the blue, cerulean sky and find shapes in the clouds. The sun beams at you and you cover your face with your hand to block it. Then, with your other hand, you feel the rough texture of the sidewalk below. It's a little warm because of the way the sun keeps hitting it.

You feel the breeze rustle your hair. You hear the mundane sounds of traffic whizzing by on the street behind you. The trees sway and leaves float about the sky in a dance with the wind. You take a deep breath and exhale calmly out.

Man. You're alive.