White Lily (Dazai Osamu x gn! Reader)

In the Morning

"Stay safe??? What do you- Oh."

There was a bit of a solemn expression on Dazai's face; it was one you would've never expected to see on him. He was still smiling, but not quite as wide as would be typical of him. 'What does this look mean?' You can't help but wonder.

Dazai spoke up in a quiet voice. It was a gentle way of speaking. One befitting the morning light.

"You're here, Dazai."

"Of course I am."

The sun began to dance high up, ascending over the cityscape of Yokohama. The chilly morning air swirled around you. Not that you felt it though. Perhaps you did, but your mind wandered everywhere else.

Slowly, you sat up from your position. You'd woken up leaning on Dazai, so as you did that, he supported your movements gently. A hand hovered behind you until you got yourself on your feet.

"Where's Jake? What happened, and how'd we get to the park?" You asked, confused.

Dazai's response was filled with casual disdain for the man. "That blonde? He took off as soon as I caught up with you guys."

"What do you mean 'caught up'?"

"He carried you out of the hospital and made a run for it. I came over quickly, but I had to chase him all the way here before I got my hands on him."

'He carried you out'...The situation is even more questionable. How was he able to do such a thing? Did you somehow get knocked out? That shouldn't be possible, but did you? Or maybe you got...I don't know...drugged? No, that isn't it it either.

As far as you know, you should've opened your eyes back at the hospital. You should've been seconds away from ending Jake's life.

Damn. It's so simple though. You feel like an idiot, both for not realizing it sooner and for having the slightest will to trust that fool.

Jake lied when he said time stopped for both of you. It doesn't stop for him. He was just trying to foster trust with you...

You decided to inquire further, asking, "So what happened to him now?"

The response you got was one completely unexpected however.

Dazai's grin straightened out a bit. His voice became low and more solemn as he gave you his own question, "Why does it matter to you? Do you intend to run off with him afterall?"

What? How- Really?

"Dazai, what are you getting at-"

He looks a bit...hurt.

"Were you planning on accepting it? Do you intend to leave the Port Mafia?"

Ah. You did, but you didn't. You know yourself. Technically, yes, you wanted to. Of course you did. Your intentions don't change overnight.

However, now wasn't the time. And not with him. You're not going to make the same mistake and trust the first hand to reach out again. Especially now that you know that Jake's, like Mori's, was only wrought with the same kind of disappointment.

And so your answer to Dazai's question was clear.

"While truth be told, I still would like to leave," You began. "No. I didn't accept Jake's offer. I never even realized my body had left the hospital. Plus, I don't intend to as of this time. It's just not plausible right now for obvious reasons."

Dazai contemplates briefly, his eyes moving beyond seeing what was in front of him. You could sense his discontentment at the fact you'd still held the desire to go, but he seemed to trust in your words nonetheless. Dazai nods, satisfied with your response. His mischievous grin slowly resurfaces.

"Well of course! And here I thought I'd lose the number one assistant of all time."

"Heh. I should ask for a raise if that's the case."

"Hm? What was that?" He cups his hands over his ear and poses dramatically. "I can't hear you~"

You sigh, but after, you chuckle merrily. It's over now. The mission was over and you could go take a hot bath and-

Oh dammit. Dammit. Dammit-

The mission was...Oh god this mission was an absolute bust.

Dazai cuts out with the pose and returns to a neutral standing position. The breeze picks up and blows the back end of his coat along with both of your heads of hair.

Coursing anxiety swirls in the pit of your stomach upon remembering why you were here in the first place.

A torrent of unhappy imaginings and illustrations of your suffering fill the gallery of your mind.

"The mission...I failed my end."

Dazai looks at you, realizing the change in your temperament. He walks close to you, and moves a hand to your shoulder. However, just before his hand makes contact, he quickly retracts.

"It's a single mission. Mori's not going to do anything, so whatever image is up there..." He playfully taps your skull with his index finger. "...Get it out. Nobody's going to try to kill you, alright?"

You feel the swirling in the pit of your stomach calm itself.

"You're not downplaying this?"

"I'm not. If you're worried about future business with Fujiwara's company, don't be. The mafia will likely continue business with whoever is declared his successor."

"I see then...So it'll be alright."

Breathe in.

And then release.

The sun is now high up in the sky. Undeniably, it watches over your guys' exchange gleefully. The only thing to obscure it's vision are the fluffy white clouds that come in and out to give the world its privacy.

"The mission's over with now. I think it's time we went home, (Y/n)."

He starts to walk forward. He goes at a slow and steady pace, glancing back at you every now and then.

"Right."

As per tradition at this point, you walk closely behind him. For the first time, you notice the outline of his back. You trace it and see the way it's shape resembles your own.