White Lily (Dazai Osamu x gn! Reader)

Lunar Eclipse

The drunken you and Dazai walk out into the chilly night air. As the door closes on the Bar Lupin, the world grows still and quiet. The only sounds right now were those of your unsynchronized footsteps and the rhythmic chirping of crickets. Up in the sky, Dazai gazes out at the crescent moon. Its light wraps over Yokohama, the usually busy city, finally having fallen asleep at last.

What Dazai notices most is the way it outlines and shines on all the features of your face. Your eyes are half open, and he sees the way they flit open and close drowsily, wanting to give into the caress of sleep.

Looking for something else to fixate on, Dazai tries to make friendly conversation.

"I can't believe you actually went out for a drink? I didn't peg you for the type to do that in your spare time, you know?"

"..."

"Hmm...What made you want to go drinking tonight? Looking to socialize with the regulars? Broaden your horizons?"

"..."

"Okay, we're there any drinks you liked in particular???"

"..."

Dazai inhales, then exhales, knowing he's beat. Now's not a good time for this. All your energy is being poured into walking. As it stands, you're barely even conscious right now.

After walking a few meters, Dazai sits you down on a bench and walks over to a vending machine nearby to buy a bottle of water. He promptly hands it to you, and with some effort, you manage to drink about a third of it.

"Drink a little more (Y/n). You need to sober up."

Hearing his words, you nod and then proceed to drink a little more. You reach about half way before Dazai takes the bottle and helps you back up.

"Can you walk on your own, (Y/n)."

"Mmm...Yeah, think...so"

However, You were wrong as the moment Dazai let go, you ended up losing balance.

"(Y/N)!"

In a millisecond, Dazai's arms were already around you.

They held you protectively, not wanting to see you crumple to the dirt.

Never before have your faces been so close. Every spot, twitch, and wrinkle on your face was illuminated-bathed entirely in the moonlight. It'd only take the slightest push right now and two planets would collide headfirst into each other.

Upon seeing the position you've fallen in, your sleepy eyes widen. Your pupils dilate, but you're frozen still. You simply gaze up at him, unsure if you're dreaming.

Dazai looks at you and the way your expression changes. He's almost startled by how still you are. Secretly, he wonders if you'll remember this when you wake up in the morning.

Dazai starts to move in closer. Your illuminated face begins to fall into his shadow.

If you were right in the head right now, you would've never let this happen Dazai realizes. He knows you're afraid. He knows he's the reason you're still stuck here. And he knows that...no matter how much he wished it...you just don't trust him. You don't like him. You can't. It's your guys' nature. And he understands that.

But it pains him nonetheless.

No matter how small the space may seem between the two of you, there'll always be this uncloseable, incalculable distance.

So long as there's this contractual power dynamic between you both, there could never be anything more. There may be only wishful thinking. His wishful thinking. After all, you can't love someone who's dangling a sword over your head, right?

Just before you've been eclipsed completely, Dazai pulls back.

Moonlight bathes again your face.

"Ahem. Sorry about that. Are you alright, (Y/n)?"

Breaking out of your paralysis, you manage to nod your head.

"Yeah..."

"Here. I'll help you walk. It'd make it a bit easier if you put your arm around my shoulder this time."

"O-okay."

And the two of you proceed to do so. The moonlight in the sky gets blocked as the two of you turn the corner toward your apartment. This was a moment too fleeting to be recalled. While stunning in the moment, images of eclipse recede into the back of the memory, only to be left dusty and forgotten unless another should arise.

On this 'silent' night, the crickets' orchestra seems to grow only louder.