To keep you- Miguel O'Hara/Peter B Parker

Regret

⚠️ANGST⚠️ 

Sad stuff up ahead!

Enjoy if you can :(

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Peter gradually made his way over to the deep red couch, his footsteps he kept slow and deliberate. He watched Miguel, even in his sleep the poor man didn't seem to be at rest. His brow was drawn tight and shoulders still stayed as tense as ever. It was those damn shoulders, Peter B swore he could tell everything Miguel was feeling through those shoulders.

Peter B gently set the empanadas down on the side table next to the sofa and sat down on the very edge of it, careful to avoid Miguel. He watched Miguel's chest rise and fall. He wished he knew what Miguel was dreaming of. He wished he knew what Miguel thought in general, if he was being honest with himself.

Peter B reached out and tenderly brushed a few hairs from Miguel's face, the ones that were encroaching on his eyes. Peter B let himself run his fingers through Miguel's hair, it was incredibly soft and Peter wondered what was it that he used for it? It was smooth and silky and it almost felt like Peter B was running his hands through nothing.

Miguel began to stir, his breath hitching as he readjusted himself. Peter B quickly pulled his arm away from the sleeping man and got up to go sit somewhere else before his wrist was grabbed.

Peter B whipped his head around to see Miguel staring at him with one eye partially open, and struggling to keep it that way.

"Hey big guy, I was just leaving you some food." Peter B said awkwardly.

"No you didn't. You want to talk."

"What? Where did you get that idea? Hardly! No way, that's not the case. Why would I ever want to talk to the man who has been purposely ignoring me?" Peter retorted with a little more malice than he had intended.

Miguel let go of his wrist and sat up to look at Peter B with sleepy eyes.

"It's all about you, isn't it Parker?" Miguel grumbled, sneering at Peter B as he stood up and began to walk to the control center.

"What? No! And stop calling me Parker!" Peter B chased after Miguel.

"Then what do you want me to call you? It's your name, is it not?" Miguel accelerated his walk.

"Yes it's my name, but it makes me feel like I'm not valued or appreciated." Peter B pointed out, struggling to keep up with Miguel as he powered over to the platform.

"Good." Miguel growled back.

Peter B's heart sank. Surely Miguel couldn't have meant that. They had been so close! Or, that's what Peter B had come to firmly believe.

"Why are you acting this way? What the hell did I do? It's really frustrating, you know." Peter B explained

"What is?"

"You! You're frustrating! You don't explain anything, you don't make time for others, you spend all your time at HQ locked up in your stupid little control room all by yourself, you refuse to befriend anyone, you're short with people, it's your way or death, you're selfish! So selfish! You're a mess and you don't let anybody help you and when they try, you just shut them out again! No thanks no nothing! Only a terrible terrible feeling they have to hold onto, thinking they fucked up when in reality, you! You're the one who fucked up!"

"I know!" Miguel yelled at Peter B, who quickly shut up.

"Get out." Miguel growled, not facing Peter B.

"No! I'm not leaving. I'm just so tired of you abandoning yourself!" Peter B cried,

"Stop pinning this on me! We both know that you mean you feel I'm abandoning you, when I shouldn't mean anything to you at all!" Miguel shouted.

"Move." Miguel shoved Peter B out of his way as he jumped onto the platform.

Peter B scrambled onto it after Miguel in hot pursuit.

"So what if it's what I meant! I care about you and I wish you cared for me the same!" Peter moaned.

"I didn't ask for you to care about me. So why should I do the same for you?" Miguel's voice grew to a deep growl.

"I don't understand! Why can't you just cooperate? You're so difficult! I've done so much for you! You're a coward, Miguel O'Hara."

Suddenly, Miguel whipped around, tears in his almond eyes, and punched Peter B hard in the face. Peter B stumbled across the platform before losing his footing and falling off the edge. He barely had time to brace his fall to the cold office floor. He hit the ground hard, but stood straight up and brushed himself off. Peter B felt tears on his own cheeks as he tried to recompose himself. Miguel was worse than ever and he hoped he was happy.

"I'm proud of you Miguel. Good job." Peter B spat, harshly wiping away the tears on his face.

"Parker-" Miguel looked to where Peter B stood wounded both physically and emotionally.

"I don't want to hear it." Peter B turned and headed towards the door.

"Parker!" Miguel shout, sudden worry corrupting his words.

"I told you to stop calling me that." And with that, Peter B threw open the door and left Miguel alone in his office once again.

Miguel sat against the console and pulled at his hair. Peter B was right. He fucked up. His dad was right, he was a coward and ungrateful. Peter B was right, he didn't explain anything, he didn't make time for others, he spent all his time at HQ locked up in his stupid little control room all by himself, he refused to befriend anyone, he was short with people, it was his way or death, he's selfish. So selfish.

He was a mess and he knew it. He knew it better than he knew the rest of him. And he regretted it. All of it. 

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OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOO

well if it makes you feel any better you can now get Spider Man across the spider verse digitally now :,)

Cya soon!