Terrorforming || Yandere!Harem X F!Reader

Terms and Conditions

After a week of daily sermons, each of which lasted for hours on end... You thought you'd become a pro at tuning it out. Listening just made you sad and angry. So, instead, you went to your happy place. Just daydreamed and dissociated for a three-hour interval.

Except for today. Today, Salome's wails rang in your ears the second you stopped actively listening to what was around you. There was no escape from this sermon in particular. At least not for you.

You wished you had just slept in and didn't come right about now.

Because today Nurse Thorne was preaching about love. God's love. And how it was conditional.

You see, God didn't love all His creations. He didn't love unbaptized people the same way. If you sinned and didn't confess, admit to it, then you would no longer be "in communion" with God and He wouldn't love you the same way.

How could you make God love you more? By making yourself more valuable to Him.

"Virtue basically, when added to your faith, makes you worth something to God. When our faith dictates the movements we make, directions we go, things we accomplish, it's of great value to the Lord. And, subsequently, you're of great value to the Lord," Nurse Thorne instructed you all from her pulpit.

The morning sun was just starting to rise and shine through the stained-glass window behind her. The giant wooden statue of Jesus on the cross blocked a great deal of that light. Still, it served as your only saving grace, your only way of telling when this would be over.

"We ourselves are nothing. Our flesh is not worth much at all. I'm not talking about the value of your flesh, I'm talking about the value of your faith. Are you adding to your faith? Make your faith worth something to God," she continued.

That stuck like a thorn in your side. God didn't love you -at least, not the same way he loved your straight friends- and no amount of virtue would change that. Depending on the doctrine, you could be sent to a place of eternal torture simply for existing or for engaging with your desire in any way and not rebuking it immediately.

The thought that just being a teenage girl with an innocent crush and listening to love songs could send you to Hell was almost crueler than going to Hell for existing.

What you heard was that God hated you -or whatever nicer words Christians used for it- and that, in order to avoid Hell, you needed to hate yourself too. To be loved by God, you had to destroy the parts of you that made you unique, that made you who you were.

Your mom always claimed that God loved everyone equally, but apparently He loved some people more equally than others.

You were going to be sick.

Stomach in violent revolt, you shuffled out of the pew and ran down the aisle like a runaway bride. Vomit flooded your mouth the instant the chapel door slammed shut behind you. You fell to your hands and knees and puked your guts out in the surrounding garden.

You had fond memories of last night's dinner. You were not so fond of reliving them.

You heard the church door open and quietly shut not long after you'd finished throwing up and started spitting to rid the taste from your mouth. You turned your head to see Rosasharon standing there, wearing a sympathetic smile.

"You poor thing! Are you okay?" She cooed.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" You answered snidely. You expected her to turn right back around and walk back into the chapel, but she didn't. Instead, once you rose to your full height again, she rushed over to hug you. Her skin was warm but not sticky with sweat, unlike yours. She smelled faintly of vanilla.

Due to your height difference, your head rested more on her chest than her shoulder. You stiffened in her arms but did not pull away like you probably should have. You focused on controlling the circulation of your blood, keeping it from all going to your face.

"I'm so sorry! Nurse Thorne can be awfully mean sometimes." Her chin rested on the top of your head before she tucked it in, burying her mouth in your hair. "Do you wanna know a secret?" She whispered.

You hesitantly nodded.

"She's wrong. God loves us all the same, be ye saint or sinner. Our value is that we are His creation, with the very breath of God breathed into us, not that we are virtuous in any way. I don't think that woman understands unconditional love. Probably because she's never experienced it."

It was a nice thought, a good sentiment, but you'd just spent hours listening to the complete opposite. Who was right? Maybe both, maybe neither. "And you have?" You asked softly.

She smiled graciously as she said, "Yes, and you can too. My heart is open, Y/N. Never closed. Never locked. It needs no key. It's just waiting for you to step inside."

You considered her words, turned them around and around in your head looking for a deeper meaning.

You were so deep in thought that you didn't hear the chapel door open and close again. You did hear someone clear their throat, however. Fearful it was Nurse Thorne, you tore yourself away from Rosasharon.

It turned out it wasn't. It was her little clone, Elizabeth. "Are you done?" She asked. Her voice was monotone, her face blank, but you got the feeling she was annoyed. "Service isn't over yet."

"I got vomit on my veil. Can I come in without it, just this once?" You pleaded.

She just let a deep breath out of her nose and shook her head. "No. Go put your veil in the Temperance laundry hamper. Wait for us in The Ark. We'll be with you shortly." With that, she turned and walked right back into the church.

You felt like a child being put in time out. You weren't looking forward to being alone in the quiet. What else could you do, though?

Rosasharon moved to follow her. "I have to return to my disciples," she sighed. "A place among them is just waiting for you! Always remember, Y/N... You have been fearfully and wonderfully made."

The faint but pretty smell of vanilla followed you all the way back to Temperance.