Dreaming of You

Unseen Apologies

— Amidst the hustle and bustle of Brooklyn's daytime streets, I walked alone, the remnants of our argument (if you can even call it that) lingered like a heavy cloud over my thoughts. The vibrant cityscape that usually brought me comfort now felt like a whirlwind of strangers, each passerby a stark reminder of the connection I had potentially lost. I didn't even have the mood to go back in and finish the movie, so I just sat outside the wall of the cinema for a couple of minutes before heading back to my dorm room in Vision Academy.

— As I walked back lost deep in thought, I unexpectedly found myself at her doorstep. I had no idea how I had ended up there, the last 10 minutes or so dissolving into a hazy memory. I guess subconsciously there was an undeniable impulse to talk to her, to apologise, to make up. I approach her door trying to muster up as much courage as I could to knock but just as I was about to, I hesitate hearing her muffled sniffles through the door. I stop my hand mere inches away from the door. Doubts cascaded through my mind - What if she gets mad because I'm apologising not knowing the reason she's mad? What if she doesn't want to talk right now let alone see me? A flurry of thoughts rushing into my head. I dismiss my negative thoughts and try again until it hits me.

— I barely even know her. Do I even have the right to do this? The thought struck me, unsettling me. Slowly, I withdrew my hand from the door, a gesture heavy with hesitation, and a sigh of resignation escaped as I walk off back to my room. Upon arrival, I kicked off my shoes and sank into my bed, my face seeking refuge in my pillow before my gaze shifted to the bed above me. I understand that it feels like I've been acting overly familiar with her, yet there's just something that makes it feel normal. Something in the back of mind gnawing away as if we had met before and that we knew each other in the past. In an effort to distract myself, I hopped off my bed and sat down at my desk. I whipped out my headphones and sketchbook trying my best to relax and distract myself by sketching while accompanied by music, but I had found myself daydreaming and unconsciously drew her into my book, causing me to recall her pained expression from earlier, firmly etching it into my mind. Not to mention, the mere sight of the old drawing of her I made as I flipped through my book immediately conjured the negative thoughts I had tried to purge back into my head. I just couldn't get the thought of her out of my head no matter what I did, I had to fix things. I needed to talk to her.

— Hey Gwen you free to chat?

— I sent the text hesitantly, still unsure if this was the right thing to do. Half of me still thought that I should back off and give her some space but the other half had wanted to make sure she was fine and to apologise. I knew it was selfish of me but it wasn't some self centered attempt to make myself look good or to give myself peace of mind that she didn't hate me, I was just worried about her and wanted to make sure she was fine. Honestly if it came down to it I was fine if Gwen started to hate me, as much as it pains me I just hope that by being disliked it brings peace to her. I waited for a couple minutes after sending the message, my eyes fixated to the screen. However, I didn't get a response, my message remained unread.

— I'm sorry.

— I sent one last message before pressing the power button on my phone and leaning back into my gaming chair sighing. I didn't understand why I was so concerned about her, she's literally someone I had just met for less than a day yet I felt that there was something special there that seemed to be binding us together. I know my friends kept making fun of me for falling for her at first sight but since the beginning I had always felt there was something different about her, not the way she looked or her demeanor but her atmosphere. It just simply felt natural to be so close to her, erasing any awkwardness immediately as if we had been close friends for the longest time. An image of Gwen started to enter my mind as I closed my eyes, the way she pouts her lips when she's displeased and she makes a tiny frown and those golden locks angrily hang over her twinkling blue eyes. I guess this feeling is me missing her. Out of nowhere, the ringtone of my phone disrupts the quiet room, startling me causing me to almost lose my balance. I toss my phone high up into the air from the shock and quickly reach for it almost falling out of my chair catching it. I glance at my phone, checking who was calling me and realised it was Gwen!

— I quickly sit up straight clearing my throat and compose myself before picking up the phone, "Hey Gwen." "Hey Miles...no bestie?" She replied with a light chuckle at the end but I could hear her sniffling, I could tell she was still crying and it pained me to hear her in such a state. "Listen...I just wanted to apologise." I reply with remorse, brushing past her comment. "No..no.. I'm sorry for ruining the movie for you, I shouldn't have ca-" "No! You're wrong!" I yelled in anger cutting her off. "Don't say things like that! I-We were really happy when you joined us for the movie!" I blurted out unable to contain my emotions. "I just had to mess it up..." I lamented as silence filled the call. I had no idea how she was feeling, was she still in tears, was she even still there? "Gwen please be honest with me, have we met before?" I ask breaking the silence. Even more time passed as I sat in silence, "I-I'm sorry Miles but I need some time alone." She replied ending the call abruptly, before I could reply. I sat there still confused, phone still clutched in my hand as it's beep marked the end of our call. I slowly lowered my hand as I settled back into my chair while my gaze wandered off into the void. Only a sole thought left in my mind, before she ended the call I felt like I could hear her voice trembling.

Thats chapter 11! Today's chapter is on the shorter end because I couldn't find a way to continue to the next part without making it too long and incoherent so I decided to just keep it the way it is now. But don't worry as the next chapter will be out very very soon with some slightly special content. Sounds a bit weird but you'll see soon :]

Also I got the next like 4 chapters-ish lined up so it's mostly just me filling the blanks in between but the main storyline for those have been settled. I can say with confidence that you can look forward to the next few as it's gonna get real fun!!!

But anyway once again as always everyone, stay safe, hope you enjoyed reading and I wish you guys and gals a wonderful day/night! See you next time! ❤️