❝And she did the drugs for fun
But now she does them just to stay up❞
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I'm a half smoked cigarettes girl, a tiny tops and eye glitter girl, a quick and cheap girl. The female version of a playboy. Sexy, sweet, sour, anyth...
❝I want the side of you that you don't show to anyone else.❞
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"You look strung out." Isobel says to me the second I walk through the doors. After last night, and the last few weeks I can't say I've breathed, a single sober breath.
"I fucking am." I gripe, shedding my jacket and clocking in on the little tablet, that is my worst fucking nightmare. Isobel, has been my best friend since seventh grade. She's my favorite person on earth. But admittedly it has been weird, watching to girl who I used to make slime with offer me a line.
"You still livin with Jack?" She asks, leaning against the window. I nod,
"It's not as bad as it looks." If looks could kill, I would be the one six feet under at the moment. She and Jack have never gotten along well, I'm plenty aware of why. Maybe it is a little weird two years ago, when a 17 year old coked out boy took interest in a straight a, student council 15 year old girl. Maybe it's because he knew I wouldn't last long, maybe he knew what was coming. Because 2 months ago when I showed up on his doorstep shitfaced with only the clothes on my back and 10 bucks to my name he didn't even seem surprised. As much as Isobel hates my situation she can't do much about it, her parents used to love me. I was the good influence on their daughter. But then summer 2022 happened.
I shake off the memories. I don't want Isobel to see me sad. I've always felt like her older sister in a way, mainly because I used to love mine so much. I wanted to be her so badly. Looking at Isobel now though, I do realized I wasn't the best role model. But too late for blaming myself even more than I already do.
I shuffle down the stairs to our dish pit, where luckily I can spend my day today. It's funny, once you've worked in a restaurant specifically with the dishes you never want to eat there in your entire life. Plus, the food tastes like cigarette ash in my opinion. The door of the dish pit swings open and I hear footsteps, footsteps I recognize all too well. Fuck. When I came back here, I didn't expect to see him for a long time, and I didn't want too. I don't turn around, Im hoping he's too busy to notice me.
"Kaitlyn." His voice, is low and raspy and he's so close to me in the crammed dish pit I can feel his hot breath on my neck and smell his drugstore cologne. I don't turn around. I can feel his hands hook through the belt loops on my shorts, my whole body tingles. It's been a long time since he's touched me, too long, I don't push his hands away. I turn to face him, his lips inches from mine.
"Wyatt.." I whisper, daring only to breathe his name. He has dark blue eyes, and behind them there's nothing. Where as with Jack, I can see into his soul with his eyes. With Wyatt, there's no soul behind his. I could lie, and say I didn't know where this was going, but that would be a flat out lie. Because I do, when he moves his hand to my thigh I don't react. He knows I never would.
"Been a long time baby." he says. And just like that, his mouth is on mine and my hands are fumbling with his belt and zipper. he slides one of his hands under my shirt, with the other one he's undoing my shorts. I practically kick them off. He shoves me up onto a counter, and I hear dishes fall. Fuck it. His lips are still on mine. The feeling of him inside of me is enough to make me suck in my breath. I'm breathing hard into his mouth, struggling to kiss him back. With my breathing mixed with his, the sounds I'm making mixed with his light groaning drowns out anything else. And for four sweet minutes, the world went quiet.
Until I heard the door open.
"Yo Wyatt I've got more dish-"
I shove him off me, yanked my shorts from the ground. I knew that voice. I'd never wanted to hear it again. For a while I never thought I would.
"Kaitlyn?" He asks. And I meet his eyes. Sea Green eyes, they'd used to be my favorite part about him. I don't say anything. As soon as I'm out of the dish pit I'm frantically looking for Isobel. She's wiping down tables.
"I have to go. Tell Sarah It's an emergency." Which was in truth, not a lie. This was an emergency. A personal one at any rate. Isobel stares at me blankly. I don't want to know how bad I look.
"Okay be sa-"
Running. All I can hear is my own heartbeat. And the sound of my sneakers slapping pavement. I don't know how long I ran. It's not until I'm at least 12 blocks away that I stop. I'm at a park, the same park I lost my virginity in. Three fucking years ago.
I sink down onto the grass. My breathing heavy. I can't get his face out of my head. Fucking Leo. I haven't seen him since I left to get on that plane. That fucking plane. So much has changed since then, me, my body, him, his new girlfriend. Somewhere, in the back of my mind. A part I do my best to always keep hidden. Is hoping he was hurt. To see his best friend on top of his ex girlfriend, or ex fling. Or ex whatever the fuck we were. I bury my head in my knees. "how did it come to this." "I'm homeless' "I lost everyone" "I've hurt people." "I'm a druggie. I sold my body for it." I highly doubt, that in this moment, anybody can hate me more than I hate myself.
A/N: okay so, I vary rarely right smut. But here I am I suppose. This was an experience I had, the sex part of it anyway so I tried to base it off of myself. (tmi sorry). Hope you liked this chapter.
