Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r F i f t y - O n e

                                                                           PART FIFTY ONE

                                                                 ❝If I stay, will you chose me?❞

I spammed the redial button.  I called over and over and over again. He did not answer me. I rifled through the rest of our small home, trying to find any evidence of drugs if the police showed back up. I did however, find a box of scrawled IOU notes, which made my stomach drop. We were broke, it didn't take a genius to figure that out, but this was worse. I at least thought we had the small drug income. I was wrong. I sank against the wall. Trying to disapear into it. I glanced into Evie's room, under her matress to see if he had hidden drugs in our child's room. He had not. 

Setting my child down I lit a cigarette taking a long drag I rubbed my face. Because it felt like I was living in a non stop thriller. I wanted to curl into a ball, crawl into a hole and remain there for the rest of my life. I knew Jack probably wasn't even in the state anymore and it hurt my heart. To know the last time I saw him, I'd thought he would be home that night. I reached for the pipe we kept on the windowsill, with enough weed in it to get me a small high. I sighed holding the lighter to it.

Then, my phone rang. It jangled my nerves I almost dropped the pipe. I scrambled to answer it. There was only silence on the other end.

"Katie?" A small voice asked from the other line. Jack. I sucked in my breath. Waiting for him to continue.

"I'm here." I said, in a clipped tone as I was not happy to be answering this fucking call. 

"I'm sorry." He practically whispered. I don't know if he could feel me roll my eyes or not. It was than, that I realized a simple drug test would reveal I was a user. The police would know in the blink of an eye that I should go to jail as well. Because no doubt that's where Jack would be. What would happen to Evie? Would she go to mine, or god forbid Jack's parents? Would they place her in foster care? The danger we were in loomed over me like a dark black cloud. 

"Where. The. Fuck. Are. You." I asked, more so as a statement hoping he could feel the anger and fear that at this very minute was pulsing through my body. I heard him sigh, ever so lightly.

"Arizona, I have friends out in Phoenix. They have a warrant out for my arrest Katie, did they say anything to you?" He asked and I snorted. He made himself look like the victim in this, when very clearly it was me and the daughter he and I had created.

"They asked if I knew you were a dealer, or a user." I stated, practically seething. How was he being so calm, he was acting as though we were not completely fucked. 

"You didn't have to lie." He said. And I felt something snap inside me. I was terrified, I was just recently an adult. They would send me away for years, especially with consiparcy. I had only been to a correctional facility once and it was a fucking two week stay when I was sixteen. I didn't have a baby who relied on me for everything to worry about.

"I lied Jack, because I fucking love you. I need you and I do not want you to go to jail. And I do not want to go to jail either." I snapped. 

"Come to Phoenix, we'll go from there okay?" He asked, pleading. 

"What happens when they figure out where we went? They might think I'm innocent, I might have a chance. If I leave, we're both de facto guilty." I reasoned, knowing there was no good solution to this.

"What about Evie?" He asked and I heard his voice catch in his throat. I sighed. 

"Jack, we go to phoenix sure, than we go to florida, we move around every month we run from the police. We cannot enroll her in school they will know who her parents are." I said. This was true, either way our lives were ruined. Her life was ruined, because her mother fell in love with a drug dealer. 

"We give her a fake name, give ourselves fake names." He said. Than, in more anger than I thought a person can feel he said:

"You are my wife Kaitlyn, I know you are fucking scared but you are coming with me. I am not losing somebody else." 

"You are losing me because of your choices!" I screamed into my phone. Louder than I meant to and Evie screamed back at me for disturbing her nap. I groaned. I sounded like my sister, exactly what she'd said to me when I was sixteen making teenage mistakes. Now what would she say? Would she yell at me? Would she swear at me? Would she ever want to talk to me? I didn't know.

"Come to Phoenix, we can do this okay? It'll be okay." I heard him say. Then, as if he'd just remembered.

"The police will be back, they'll want to question you. You need to be across state lines by then." He said, the phone clicked. He texted me an aderess. I looked around the tiny apartment, with everything we;d painted, everything we'd done. Our child's room, our room, the bed that I lay cured in my husband's arms in, the same bed my husband had raped me in. I snatched the small bag of clothes and supplies from the back of Evie's closet. The same bag I would take if I was had been running from Jack. Now I was taking it to run to him. Because I always would. I would never leave. I suppose that was love.