❝And she did the drugs for fun
But now she does them just to stay up❞
---------------------------
I'm a half smoked cigarettes girl, a tiny tops and eye glitter girl, a quick and cheap girl. The female version of a playboy. Sexy, sweet, sour, anyth...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Jack and I had not had one of the "bad days" in the past week. The bad days were, the ones where he, or I got mad as fuck at each other and resorted to physical violence. I still hadn't told him about the Alex situation. I hadn't told anybody. I had not spoke to Katiana, or Isobel or anyone. We took Evie home from the hospital two days ago. She had been cleared to come home. I did not lay her in the bassinet or pack n play. Jack and I, slept on the floor with her in between the both of us. So nothing could hurt her. Even though, mentally I'm sure I had.
When Summer had kicked me out, she had also deleted all of my social media and apps from my old phone. The first thing I had done when I'd got off the plane at home, was go and re activate them. And there they had sat, untouched for months until I downloaded the apps. I found myself flicking through old photos on Snapchat. Photo's of me and my old group of friends, ditching classes, me and Summer back when things were good. My heart caught in my throat when I found photos of me and my mom and dad. Selfies I'd made them take with me. In hawaii, fiji, and on long road trips.
I rolled over to face Jack and Evie. His eyes were still open. I reached my hand over our daughter to grab his. He squeezed it three times I love you. I really meant it too. Jack was the only person who hadn't walked out on me. I looked into his eyes, the peircing blue ones I'd fallen in love with. The ones I was still in love with.
"Jack?" I whisper. He looks at me in the dark room.
"Are you going to leave me?" I feel, feeling the knot in the back of my throat. He stands up and pulls me to the couch. He wraps his arms around me tightly.
"No. I know what it feels like to left by the one you love the most." He says leaning his head into me. I sigh.
"Why'd everybody else leave me?" I ask, barely able to form the words because they hurt so much. He sighs.
"Because you were a kid, a misunderstood, confused, depressed, kid who just wanted someone to love her. Not punish her." He said. i felt the hot tears rolling down my face again. For the seventieth time in a week.
"Everybody left me." I whisper softly, so I can hardly hear my own words.
"Not everybody, you have me, and our child who relies on you for everything. Your a good mom Katie." He says.
"Was I that bad? Do you really think I deserved that?" I ask. He shakes his head firmly.
"You didn't deserve anything that happened. They broke you, and I put you back together. Fuck them you don't need them." He says, and for once. I feel better. Like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Like maybe, I'll be okay. Even though I miss my sister and every bone in my body wants to call her, she never apologized and all I ever did was apologize. I sank into him, I knew what I was trying to do I wanted to keep myself tethered to someone or something.
"You can't leave me." I whisper and he shakes his head.
"I won't leave you, I promise." he says, and then he kisses me.
