Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r S i x t y -T h r e e

                                                                 PART SIXTY THREE

                               ❝I just wanna tell you, every time I don't I almost do.❞

There was small drops of blood on my work shirt, as well as the marks from where I had dried my needles with it. I shrugged,  as I wiped my hands off. I had avoided Leonard, all this past week. When payday had came around, the amount contained in my check was enough for grocries, and to keep covering rent. But just barely, there was no spending money and no wiggle room if I overdosed, or Jack needed me to bail him out of jail. I had folded three twenties into the folds of my wallet, which was practically made of ash now days anyways. 

Sitting on the floor with Evie crawling over my legs I laughed. The half empty bottle of whiskey in my lap as well. I took another swig. It was late, I wanted Jack to come home so I could turn those three twenties into drinks at Red's, and drunken flirting with Leonard, or any guy who sidled up to me. Evie pulled on my shirt and I glanced down at her, she smiled at me, pulling against my shirt. I scooped her up into my arms laying back onto the floor and tossing her gently up into the air where I continued holding her as she laughed.

Taking another swig I leaned my head back against the floor.

"The one thing I did right in this world was you baby." I said, kissing her rosy cheeks. She laughed again. I laid her against my chest, grabbing for the bottle again. She pressed her small hand against it and I shook my head, swallowing.

"Not yet kiddo, you have the rest of your life to develop an alcohol addiction. I said, sitting up and pulling myself to my feet. It was then, it felt as the world had began spinning twice as fast as it should've. I buried my face in my hands. My eyes shut, closed.

-------------------

"Kaitlyn!" someone, was shaking me, there was crying in the background. I gasped, sitting up I blinked and rubbed my eyes. My head, felt as though I'd been hit by a bus. I noticed an extreme pain in my wrist as well, I grumbled softly. My body hurt. I crawled, across the floor which flickered in and out, my hand reached up to the counter and grabbed for the pack of cigarettes an the lighter. I collapsed again to the floor, managing the cigarette to my mouth and the lighter to it.  The same voice, that had awoken me earlier spoke again.

"Kaitlyn, seriously?" It was then I noticed my pants were sopping wet. I groaned, seeing a knocked over bottle of whiskey on the floor that I had no doubt been laying in. I sighed, feeling the pain reduce in my head. I wiped my face with my sticky shirt. In front of me, stood Jack, holding Evie. Bouncing her against his hip.

"Jack?" I whispered, as if I said it louder he would evaporate. I pressed my face against my hand, taking another drag from my cigarette. I reached out a hand for his, he pulled me to my feet and settled me to the couch, not very gently. I blinked at him again.

"Kaitlyn, when the fuck did you pass out?" His voice asked, sharply cutting through my hazy memory. I shrugged.

"I was just laying on the floor, playing with her..." I gestured to Evie, who lifted her arms to me. Jack did not give her to me.

"And then?" 

"I, stood up and she was laughing, and I was really dizzy and I wanted a cigarette and then-" I shrugged. I wasn't actually sure. 

"I can tell you what happened, you passed out. You probably hit your fucking head, and your pale. Oh and there were needles in your pocket. How the fuck often have you been fucked up?" Jack snapped. I drew back.

"Fuck Jack, everybody gets fucked up sometimes." I whispered. "you would know." I stood up again, grabbing my wallet off the table and a new needle from the cabinent. I grabbed a different sweatshirt and walked toward the door.

"Adio's homeboy." I said laughing, on second thought I grabbed for the bottle of advil, putting four on my tongue I turned back to the door. There suddenly, was more of a searing pain in my wrist. Stabbing and sharp, a hand was wrapped around it. I yelped jumping in place. My arm, was being bent behind my back. I staggered a bit, writhing trying to get out of his grasp. Jack laughed. He shoved me hard, into the door.I braced myself against it and turned to face him. Still holding our daughter.

"Look, do what you want. Fucking die Kaitlyn, drink yourself sick, fucking wake up and shoot up. Become like all those junkie whores on the fucking streets, but do not involve our daughter in it. If you can't fucking be a mom, then leave. Walk the fuck out of that door and don't come back because I can do this shit by myself." 

I looked at him, a blank expression on my face. I looked at Evie, her face awash with what I guessed was confusion. She was used to the yelling by now I supposed. I dropped my wallet and leaned against the door.

"I don't know what to do Jack." I muttered and he rolled his eyes.

"You never fucking do, since the day I sold you a fucking gram you haven't known what to do. Maybe your family was right to leave you, maybe you did deserve it. Because I'm not far from it either."