❝And she did the drugs for fun
But now she does them just to stay up❞
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I'm a half smoked cigarettes girl, a tiny tops and eye glitter girl, a quick and cheap girl. The female version of a playboy. Sexy, sweet, sour, anyth...
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I was 12 weeks pregnant. Jack and I stood in line at the free clinic for two hours. Standing next to girls with no teeth and 9 months pregnant bumps. It was Jack's baby. I lined up the dates, he'd gotten me pregnant two days before he'd raped me. I was glad, at least this kid was created consensually.
I wanted a girl, Jack wanted a boy. We agreed On Evelyn for a girl, Joseph for a boy. Joseph was Jack's childhood best friend. Evelyn was named for Evie for the movie thirteen. We'd spent the day looking at apartments. Ones with two bedrooms, a full bathroom and not falling apart at the seams. With my money from work, and Jack's dealing we had enough for first, last and security. Jack bought me a new phone yesterday. The service was under his name, since I wouldn't be eighteen until a week after my baby was supposed to be born.
My baby. Sounded too weird. Our baby. Sounded weirder. I'd been calling it The baby. Since we found out. We'd decided to keep Jack's old house, and live there until the baby was born. I'd made it clear as meth, that I didn't want our child around drugs as an infant. Or ever for that matter.
"Is it too early to go shopping for cribs?" Jack asked, shutting the door to the leasing office of an apartment we'd wanted.
"Yes. We don't even know the gender, wait for a few weeks then we'll go shopping okay?" I asked. He nodded. I pulled a vape from my pocket. Cherry lemon Lost Mary. It was stupid, but it was the only thing I had as a vice, Jack had put a straight up lock on the drugs and threw away my cigarettes. Nine months with nothing but nicotine. It was going to kill me. Maybe that was better than killing my own child. Who depended on me for everything. I refer to her as she, she needed me, I was the one making her.
Jack rubbed my stomach.
"Hi Joseph." he whispered and I rolled my eyes.
"Evelyn." I said squeezing his hand. he rolled his eyes back at me.
The seasons were changing. Summer was turning into fall. I was praying we'd have the new apartment before the baby was born. It got cold in Colorado. Especially in Aspen. Freezing fucking cold. Not like North Dakota where I'd lived with Summer.
"We're gonna need a lot of stuff, diapers crib, baby swing, breast pump, rocking chair, dresser, mobile, bassinet." I said trailing off. Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Breast pump?" He asked. I nodded.
"It's for pumping milk ya know?" He shook his head.
"No I don't know."
"Bibs, bottles, nipple cream, changing station, car seat, and a fuck ton of clothes." I continued and Jack raised another eyebrow.
"Nipple cream?"
"Yeah it felts the baby not hurt your boobs so much." I explained. It was than it hit me, how much stuff we actually did need. We needed to paint the room, find a theme. It's not like we were flush with cash but we could get some nice shit for this kid. So she or he could grow up with what Jack and I never had.
