Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r S i x t y - F o u r

                                                                          PART SIXTY FOUR

                           ❝But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside.❞

Jack and I had been having way too much sex lately. As if he was trying to apologize to me in the only way I knew how love was shown.  When I came home, he would wrap his arms around my body and kiss me, and for fifteen minutes I forgot about how I'd felt all the times before. It had been a month, and my child was nine months old. It was an in between phase, or I thought of it that way. It was a phase where everyone seemed happy. Jack and I brought home money, and we'd even began renting another motel room, this one bigger than the other one. This one had a king bed, and more space for Evie's crib, which Jack and I were at each others throats while setting up.

I lay sprawled across our bed, somehow managing to take up all of it. Jack emerged from the bathroom, his hair dripping wet and his muscles looking more defined. I propped myself up on the pillows. 

"She still sleepin?" he asked gesturing to Evie's crib. I nodded giving his body an entire once over. He let the towel fall, as he crawled on top of me. I smiled, feeling his hot breath against my neck. The water from his body dripped onto mine. I exhaled against him as his lips met mine. He reached his hand up my shirt, I closed my eyes. It was then, I heard a rattling sound. I opened my eyes and glanced in the direction of my daughter. 

There she was, standing up in her crib shaking the bars and looking directly at us. Jack reached for a blanket covering himself with it. I stood, walking over to her re adjusting my shirt. She began laughing as I walked over to her, she held her arms up to me smiling.

"Aw good morning baby!" I said scooping her up in my arms. Jack gave me a look and rolled onto his side, his eyes said "how dare you".  I sighed, warming up a bottle for Evie as she pulled on the earings I hadn't taken off in days. I handed her the bottle as she had now become little ms independent. I laid her into her crib with her toys and bottle. I moved under the covers next to Jack. He rolled to face me. 

"Where were we?" I asked, this time crawling on top of him, he pulled the blanket over my back. I smiled, kissing his lips, then his neck and chest. He inhaled sharply. His fingers moved down my body, till they were circling my underwear. I laid my body against his, chest to chest and I could feel his heartbeat mix with mine. I pressed my lips into his, his teeth biting at me. Jack, without taking his lips from mine rolled on top of me, his body still had a way of making me feel safe, so safe. The farmiliar feeling of him inside me made my heart quicken and my body tighten around him. 

He slid his tongue past my teeth, I was feeling too much at one time. i wrapped my arms around his back, as though I was holding onto him. Because in a way, I was. 

"Fuck." I whispered, against his neck. I bit, hard as to not scream and draw my daughters attention. Jack's blue eyes, meeting with mine reminded me how I fell in love with him. Those fucking eyes. 

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My hair was tangled, my clothes were twisted all around my body. I lay there, next to Jack. His hands holding mine under the sheets. 

"that's the one thing we're good at." Jack said, running a hand through his messy hair. He needed a haircut. 

"We made a beautiful child though." I said smiling. He nodded, then his gaze turned serious.

"I didn't ever think it would come to this." Jack said, he paused and looked harder at me. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, still half riding the high of an orgasm, my voice hazy.

"Because we were fuck buddies, I was your dealer. Now I'm your husband and your daughter's father and it's weird looking at her knowing I have something other than myself, and my dick to care about." He said sitting up. I looked up at him, we had been having way to many deep conversations. I slipped from bed grabbing the pack of cigarettes from the nighstand, lighting it I looked back at him.

"Yeah." I said, because I wasn't sure what exactly I could say. My cares hadn't changed, and maybe that was the reason I was still fading. Because, I was supposed to be mother of the year, wife of the year, and I was simply druggie of the year. I pulled my hair back, revealing the diamond studs I'd had in my ears since almost a year ago. I located a bra, shorts and the same ROLLING STONE t-shirt that I'd worn for all of the worst moments in my life. It was cold out, and I planned on walking to Red's in the same outfit I hadn't washed in a good month. Jack watched me from the bed.

"Going to drink yourself sick again?" He asked, fumbling for his pipe on the nightstand. I tossed him the small baggie of weed, that was all we had left.

"Yes sir." I said, pulling his old torn hoodie from the back of a chair. I took another look at Jack, and our daughter, who would wake up in a few minutes and I would be gone.

"I don't wanna get another "come get your wife she's shitfaced" call again okay?" he said, not looking up from his phone. I nodded. That had been a little embarrasing. I kissed Evie on the forehead before laying her on the bed next to Jack. She rolled onto her stomach to look at her daddy. I smiled. She reached her arms out to me as I was leaving. Jack gave me a look. I was doing the same thing my family had done, leaving my daughter.