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Decemeber 1, 1994


Decemeber 1, 1994

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Life was hard

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Life was hard.


Too hard.







As I walked into the gym, my bag slung over your shoulder, the coach's stern voice boomed through the space, my tired self that walking up awakened. "Late again," she barked, her eyes fixed on me you. You hurriedly explained, "I'm sorry, I had a makeu—" She cut me off, furrowing her eyes, "No excuses. Change and put on your clothes now." Feeling the weight of her disappointment, I rushed to comply, knowing I had to make up for the lost time. I had missed time in gym and practice with the girls...I held the team back so much but I had my personal shit going on, I couldn't get any sleep.

Heart pounding, I quickly retreated to the locker room. Fumbling with my bag, being the only one in that changing room, I rushed myself putting on my gym clothes but as I was doing so, a buzz of my phone went off making me snap my eyes to it. I sigh as I saw pac's name across it.

He had been calling me non stop. Like always when I was mad at him I would ignore him and his calls. It was tired of it, I was tired of him and my brother, their bullshit was dragging me down.

As I reached for my beeper, the habitual motion of silencing it before it ran my battery out felt like second nature. The gym was buzzing with quietness, and I knew my team was waiting, eagerly wanting me to come out. I was surprise that coach didn't come in and force me to get ready.

I went into my bag after put my beeper inside and grabbed my shorts and white t shirt.

As I changed into my gym attire, a subtle unease began to settle in. A creeping warmth enveloped my head, a headache trying to push its way into my consciousness. I brushed it aside, determined to keep focused. I had headaches for the pass days but they only came and go so I didn't think it was a big deal.

But this specific headache, it was something different.

With each stretch for our for little warmups. the headache intensified, sending a wave of discomfort through me. My breaths felt shallow, and beads of sweat formed on my brow. But I steeled my resolve, determined to not let this hinder my performance. I had no time to be held back behind, I had to do what I had to do.

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