40| He still loves me?

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Life is just a never-ending form of death

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Life is just a never-ending form of death. The soul fades away bit by bit, a cruel end marked by dying whispers and pained screams. It withers, painfully inch by inch, day by day. The only signs we're still alive are the pangs of pain, the streams of tears, the scars of hurt, the shadows of misery, the echoes of heartache, the landscapes of desolation, the ghosts of torment, and the canvas of suffering.

That was the fate I was carrying. I never imagined that a man could mean so much to me, to the point where his absence would feel like the end of my own life.

I looked up and saw my parents enjoying their dinner, savoring each bite.

My fists clenched, and my eyes filled with tears. These weren't tears of sorrow; they were a mix of anger and hurt. Anger at myself for giving so much and ending up hurt, and hurt directed at my parents for not seeing the chaos in my life.

Adwait had only been in my life for a few months, yet he could see my struggles with just one look. But my parents, the ones who brought me into this world, were totally clueless about the turmoil I was going through.

I looked at the plate in front of me, piled with food, but my appetite was long gone. Just the sight of it felt toxic. I wrinkled my nose in disgust; nothing seemed appealing. It was like everything had lost its flavor.

I gave the plate a nudge, making it emit a faint vibration. I stood up suddenly, the chair's loud screech finally grabbing my parents' attention.

"What's the matter?" My father's voice reached me, but I offered no response.

I just looked away and hurried to my room, ignoring their calls for me to stop.

Entering my room, I flopped onto the bed, sprawling across its surface, feet dangling off the edge. Staring blankly at the ceiling, I remained motionless, unblinking. The tears had dried long ago, leaving my eyes empty.

I wasn't even aware of the passing time. Nothing seemed to matter much anymore. The only movement in my body was when I heard a soft knock on my door, but I didn't make any effort to get up and open it.

All I craved was the peace of isolation. In the middle of the fragments shattering within me, there was only one remedy—him.

"Nitya, please unlock the door. It's Arushi," her voice pled from the other side.

I jumped up and hurried to the door. As I swung it open, there she was, her face full of concern. As soon as she stepped inside, I wrapped her in a tight hug, my emotions pouring out in sobs. 

"Arushi, please, I beg you. I can't endure this torment any longer. Please, help me."

She tenderly stroked my back in an attempt to soothe me. "Nitya, take a deep breath and calm down. Let's have you sit down first."

She guided me to the edge of the bed, offering me a glass of water which I declined. Ultimately, she placed the glass back and sat down beside me.

"Aunty was asking if something happened or not. Nitya, you've got to be careful. You can't let them start suspecting anything about you."

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