timeless, jeremiah fisher

sixteen

gina's pov

it was the longest drive to reach cousins. but i knew i had to go. i left immediately after conrad cut the call, giving dad the excuse that i'll be there at melanie's house for the week. i knew he had to go for a work trip anyway. the drive was more sombre than the other times i had been to cousins. i didn't know how the beach house would feel with susannah not there. i had texted melanie that i was going. she needed to cover for me. i hated lying to dad. more than anything. and this was the first time i did.

as i reached the driveway, i saw conrad parking his car too. he had just reached. i got out of the car and walked towards him as fast as i could.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" he said as he saw me approach him, clearly frustrated.

"okay. what's got you so frustrated?" i asked. i knew he wouldn't answer that, but i had to ask.

"nothing. you can go back home gi," he said, more calmly than i had expected.

"no. i am here to stay." he rolled his eyes. he knew he couldn't argue with me, knowing how stubborn i am. he walked towards the front door and i followed right behind him.

he stops on his way, right before the front door, making me stop too. i traced to see what he was looking at. for sale. "shit!" i mumbled under my breath. conrad was glaring at it. he took the sign off and then ran to throw it in the bin. when he was coming back, he was breathing faster, with his hand on his chest.

"are you okay?" i asked, rushing to stand next him.

"just give me a second," he said. "it's a panic attack. i'll be fine."

"is there anything i can help with?" i asked, nervously.

"just talk about something," he replied.

"remember the first day the five of us met'' i said, trying to distract him. "i remember how scared you were to come and talk to me."

"i remember that jere was the one who spoke to you first and made you laugh," he said. he had calmed down now. i smiled. "i didn't realise that you heard about me coming to cosuins."

"i know." i chuckled. "let's go inside." he nodded.

-x-x-x-

i sat on the couch, looking around the house. i was completely zoned out. it was so odd not having susannah here. it was filled to the brim with memories of susannah. of us kids. of jeremiah. i shook my head, not wanting to get into those thoughts right now. i needed to focus. and it was hard to do that here.

"you know, you didn't need to be here, right?" conrad said as he sat next to me.

"but i want to be here," i said. "now will you tell me what is exactly happening with the for sale sign?"

"our aunt, aunt julia. she owns the house now that –" he paused. i could see how hard it was for him to talk about susannah. "she is selling this house. i heard about it from liam but i didn't want to believe it."

"i.." i paused. "we need to do something about it, am i right?"

"no. i have to do something about it."

"but –"

"let me handle it on my own. please."

"i saw how you were handling it on your own," i said. he glared at me. i raised both my hands in the air. "fine. okay. but you cannot make me leave."

"thank you."

"but since when do you have panic attacks?" i asked. i never knew he got them. i was news to me.

"it has been a while. it has been more frequent in the last month since mom..." he said.

"con," i placed my hand on his shoulders. "i am really sorry i wasn't there for you and jere more. i really am."

"it's okay gi," he said, actually smiling for the first time since i had seen him today. "i knew you were continuously checking in on mom. she told me that every time."

"of course, i would have." i paused. "does... does jere know about the panic attacks?" i asked softly.

"no. and i really want to keep it that way," he said. i could tell that he was asking me to keep it a secret too.

"i won't tell him," i said. "but i think you should tell him."

"i don't want to burden him with that."

"that's exactly something susannah would say," i said, with a small laugh. "but, i still think you shouldn't keep something like this from him. not after how he reacted last summer. and keeping it all in affected you too."

"i'll think about it," he said.

"that's better," i said. "i need to go and make my bed now. so, see you in the morning."

i gave him a side hug before i got up and left the room. i walked into my room, looking around. it would definitely not be the same again. i texted steven that i won't be coming to his graduation tomorrow before i forgot. i had to come up with some excuse. i knew he would be so mad.

-x-x-x-

It was now they day after. i got up and went down to the kitchen to look for some food. it was still odd to see the house this empty, even after spending one whole day there. steven was mad that I didn't make it, but less than I expected him to be. he told me that he had also gotten into a fight with belly last night. i couldn't tell him i was in cousins.

"good mornig," i heard conrad say as he walked in.

"did you sleep okay?" i asked.

"not really. but it's fine."

"same here. it just feels still different here this time." he nodded.

my phone rang. i took it from the table to look at who was calling. thankfully it was not dad. my cover was still up.

"is it george? did he find out you are missing?" conrad asked.

"nah," i said. "it's belly."

"oh," he said softly. "pick it up then."

i rolled my eyes at him. i had no idea what had exactly happened between them, but the chaos at the funeral was a lot to go over. i picked up the call. "hey bells," i said. "what's up?"

"have you by any chance heard from conrad," she said. i knew he could somewhat hear what belly said over the phone, even though I wasn't on speaker. he shook his head, telling me not to tell her anything, before walking to the other side of the kitchen.

"conrad? no. is everything okay though?" i asked. obviously lying to her. i didn't want to lie, but I didn't know what else to say.

"he's m.i.a., gi. i spoke to jere last night and he was asking if i knew where he was. he's on his way to brown right now. and so am i. he sounded really worried."

the only things that registered in my mind from that conversation were that jeremiah had not called me about it, and that he was worried. I hated that he was worried. i shook the thought. "i- i will let you know if i hear anything," i glared at conrad. "i think he'll be okay unless he's off somewhere being an idiot."

"okay," belly left a small laugh. "i have to go find jere now. i'll talk later. see you soon!"

"yeah. sooner than you would think," i mumbled the last part, before cutting the call. i didn't know if she heard the last part.

i turned to look at conrad, glaring at him. "what?" he asked.

I walked towards him. "stop. making. people. worry. about. you," i said, lightly punching his arms between each word as he started to run from me.

-x-x-x-