timeless, jeremiah fisher

eighteen

jeremiah's pov

the drive to cousins was completely silent. i didn't know what to say. at all. what was conrad doing is cousins anyway? and was gina there? ugh. belly had just played the radio as well, but it was definitely not working in distracting me.

"hey, how, uh... how have you been? since..." belly asked, trying to defuse the awkwardness in the car.

"i'm okay," i said, not looking at her.

"because you know i'm here. if you ever need to talk," she replied.

"you know," i said, trying to kind if change the topic, "i went to cousins with my mom for the spring once. it's kind of weird being there when it's not summer."

"yeah, i bet," she said. i glanced at her. she was completely lost in her own thoughts.

"will you try, uh, conrad again?" i asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"yeah," she said, dialling his number. the line rings but he doesn't pick up. "no answer. and we haven't talked since the funeral."

"what the hell happened with you guys?"

"he never said anything?"

"we don't talk about you," i said, letting out a breath. "or gina for that matter. or anything that happened last summer." she nodded. i heard the car tire pop. "oh, shit! this is just great!"

i immediately stopped my car and got off. belly did too. it was a flat tire, and it looked bad. the best option was the call triple a. that was the best option right now. i took out my phone to call them.

"my god, steven will not leave me alone," i heard belly say as i was dialling triple a. she turned to me. "who are you calling?"

"triple a, because in case you didn't realize, the tire's done for," i said.

"well, we can just change it ourselves," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "it's not that hard. my mom taught me before i took my driver's test."

i completely zoned out for a second. i remember, two years ago, when gina said something about it.

"we need to learn how to change the tires as well before we take the test," gina said from the back seat. i was learning to drive and so was she. conrad had taken the two of us for the driving lesson. trying to help us.

"nah, i'd rather leave it to the experts," i said, laughing.

"can we just leave it to the experts, please?" i said coming back to reality and shaking the memory off my mind.

"uh, i am an expert," she said. "all we have to do is take the jack out and then take the spare off the back."

"that's... that is not for decoration?" i said sarcastically.

"no," belly replied. not getting the sarcasm in my voice. i shook my head.

"okay, yeah, sure. let's do it," i said a second later.

i tried to change the tire, while belly told me what exactly to do. it was not working. not at all. it was utter chaos."shit! fuck!" i said, as i fell back. the fall was not bad, so i got up. "great idea with this, belly."

"it's not my fault," she replied.

"seriously? this was your fucking idea," i said. "now i'm covered in dirt. it's degrees outside. and if you would have just let me call triple a, they'd probably be here already."

"i'm sorry! okay?"

"thanks. so helpful."

"no, jere, not about this," she said. "i'm sorry. i'm really sorry about everything. about what happened at the funeral. i –"

"you think i'm pissed about the funeral?" i interrupted her. "the funeral was fucked. everyone was messed up. i'm pissed about last summer. belly, you were my best friend. we hooked up, and then you hooked up with my brother. and then everyone expected me to act like i was fine, like it didn't hurt me. and then i fucking messed up, and i am pissed at myself, too! for everything!"

"the last thing that we wanted, that...that i wanted, was to hurt you. and that's why conrad and i didn't get together at the end of the summer."

"yeah, belly, for what? all of five minutes? that was just so you guys wouldn't look bad."

"i mean, you were seeing other people. we thought you were over it."

"that's not the point, belly! because if i hadn't, i would have looked like this pathetic loser that was keeping you guys apart."

"i'm sorry."

"sorry for what? for conrad dumping you? did you really not see that coming? because i know it was."

"i'm sorry because i missed you. i missed my best friend! that's why i called you last night!" she paused. i shook my head. "look, when susannah was sick, i was... i was so focused on conrad and on being there for him, and i should have been there for you, too, okay? and i forgot about you. and i hate myself for that. i..." i started to tear up. i did miss being her friend. she saw that and pulled me in for a hug. "jere...i hate that i let you down."

"it happened so fast. belly, it was really, really bad. i had dad and conrad sort of, but i needed you, and you weren't there. i needed gina, and somehow, i made her hate me! like really hate me," i said breaking down.

"i'm here now and i'm not going anywhere," she said, pulling out of the hug. giving me a small smile. "and i know gina can never hate you. she could never."

-x-x-x-

we reached the beach house about an hour so later. i parked the car and walked inside, belly following behind me. i saw conrad in the living room and walked up towards him.

"what the fuck are you doing here, jere?" he asked as he saw me there.

"connie, you can't just disappear like that," i said. "when i call you, pick up your fucking phone."

"i've been dealing with a lot of shit, jere."

"dude, you have to go back for your bio finals," i said. he was clearly not getting the point.

"i'm not leaving," he said. he was so stubborn.

"what do you mean, you're not leaving?"

"school doesn't matter!" connie shouted.

"what's more important than that right now, connie?" i asked. he couldn't be serious.

"jere, the house has been put up for sale," he said. more calmy than i expected.

"what do you mean, the house is for sale?" belly said, before i could say anything, as she finally came into the room.

"what is she doing here?" conrad asked, clearly very surprised to see her.

"so this is why you haven't answered any of my phone calls and texts?" i said, ignoring his question.

"hey con, what is going on?" i heard her voice before i saw her. but i knew immediately that i was gina. i would always know. and i didn't know what to do.

-x-x-x-