Draco Malfoy

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WARNINGS: SH, sad, suicidal thoughts, and insecurity.
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~ DRACO'S P.O.V ~
I need help.
I know I do, but I don't know who.
I can't go to Blaise, Pansy, or Theo. They'd all laugh and call me pathetic. There's no way in hell I'd go to a teacher. I don't want their sympathy, and will never tell my parents.
But I know I need help.
My mind has been occupied by my stupid fucking dark mark. I can't rid myself of the bloody thing. I've tried everything I could. I've scrubbed it until my arm was red, cut it until the mark was behind dashes of red, but it didn't go away.
When I'm not thinking of that, I try to find some kid to fuck with. Harry Potter, some stupid first year, or a random person in the halls. Recently that person has been Y/n.
I know she doesn't deserve the shit I give her, but I can't help but envy what she has. Friends that don't judge her, parents that love her, and grades to where teachers practically praise her. Boys kiss the ground she walks on, and girls either fall for her, want to be her, or try to hate her.
The problem is, it's damn hard to hate her. From her annoying smile to the amazing perfume she wears. I know that sounds creepy, but I can smell it when she walks by me in the halls.
People want to be around her. People only want to be around me because of my looks. If I was ugly, nobody would like me. My personality sucks.
I wish I could be with her.
What the fuck are you thinking? Are you really that pathetic to think that she would like you?
My head swarmed with thoughts I tried to push away, yet came back like flies.
I just wish she were mine, but why would she be. Why do i want her to be? Sure she's pretty, but she's a Hufflepuff, friends with Harry Potter and Hermione Granger for fuck's sake! I should hate her. But I can't.
I want to feel her arms wrap around me, but I can't. I want to hear her tell me that everything will be okay, but she hardly speaks to me, even when we have to sit next to each other.
God, what is wrong with me?
I want to die, but I want to live for her.

~ Y/N'S P.O.V ~
Draco seems off.
He usually seems off, but today more than usual.
"Draco." He turned his head to look at me. "Are you alright?"
I saw his eyes flicker, yet still containing the dull expression as always. "Of course I am." His tone was snappy, but there was something I didn't believe about it.
"Are you sure?" I poked.
"Yes, now will you leave me be." Again, his tone was harsh. I hope he doesn't think I'm that stupid to believe his bullshit.
Yet, I shrugged it off and paid attention to the last 10 minutes of the class. As soon as the bell rang, he was up and out of the room within seconds.
That might be a record.
I couldn't help but follow him. He led me to an abandoned hallway, only lit by the windows and few candles in the hall. He walked into a classroom, quietly closing the door behind him. I waited a second to see if anyone was going to follow him in before I placed my ear on the door, only to hear muffled sobbing.
I quietly opened the door to see Draco standing over the front desk, body shaking as he sobbed. "Draco?" I asked. His head whipped around to stare at me, eyes red and tears running down his face.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He yelled. "Get the fuck out!"
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. I know we're not that close, but I'm a damn good listener." I said, walking closer to him. "And I swear I won't tell anyone if your worried about that."
He laughed at me. "Your buddy-buddy with Harry Potter. I guarantee he'd be jumping with joy you saw me in such a state." Now it was my turn to laugh.
"Do you really think that low of me to go tell people that I saw you crying like it's an accomplishment?" I felt a little shocked he saw me in such a manner. "I don't care if you don't like me, and I'll leave you alone if that's what you truly want. But I promise you, I won't judge, and I won't tell anyone what you tell me. Like I said, I'm a good listener. Everyone could use a good listener every once and a while."
"Leave." His voice was raspy, yet harsh. I nodded and left the boy to drown in his sorrow.

The next few days, all i could think about was him. The boy I fell for, somehow, was hurting and there was nothing I could do about it.
In class, he hardly says a word. He holds his head low, long sleeve shirts in the hot weather, and hardly eats at lunch. I'm worried.
Today, when he didn't show up at all two days in a row, I went up to one of his friends, Blaise I believe.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him after class.
"What do you want?" His tone seemed more sophisticated than Draco's. Almost as if he was a calmer person, but his words were showing that he and Draco did share that harshness in their words.
"I wanted to ask if Draco's okay." He looked at me with confusion.
"Why do you care?" He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall next to him.
"I sit next to him in class, and I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be too behind. I took extra notes for him." I made up the excuse as quick as I could. I couldn't tell the truth. 'Oh, I have a big fat fucking crush on the bully and now I'm worried.' How well would that go over? Hint; not well.
"He's in his dorm, just won't come out, won't let anyone in. Probably sick." He said, then walked away. Pansy stayed, looking at me with a confused face.
"Why do you actually care?" Pansy paused. "I'm not as blind as Blaise. I know you're lying."
I shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure he's okay. He doesn't miss class, so I was a little worried."
"Such a badger." Though it was thrown as an insult, I saw a hint of a smile on her face. "I can get you to Draco's dorm so you can give him his 'notes'. I'm not sure he'd let you in, though. He hasn't let myself or Blaise in. He's in one of his moods."
"Your being oddly nice to me." I said, following behind her. "Usually you'd be calling me a fuck face and other random shit. Why the change in heart?"
"Not sure. I'm just in a good mood today I guess." She replied. "Do you want me to insult you."
"It would make it seem more normal."
"Fine." She paused to think. "Your quite short."
"I think we're about the same height. Your wearing high heels."
"You put me on the spot asshat. I couldn't think that fast."
"That was better. You called me asshat. It feels normal now."
I got a laugh from her as we walked into the Slytherin common rooms. She glared at all the people in the room, all of which were staring at me. I guess their not used to a change in colors in the green room.
She led me up some more stairs to a room at the end of a dark hall. "Have fun. If he doesn't let you in, don't get bit on the way out."
"Thank you." I replied.
I knocked on the door, getting a groan in response. "Can I come in?"
"Fuck off." Came through the door, a little muffled.
"Come on, Draco. You can't stay in there forever." I tried again.
"Go away Pansy."
"Not Pansy."
"Go away, Blaise."
"Blaise doesn't have that high pitched voice."
"Theo?"
"Nope."
"The fuck-" I heard feet shuffle behind the door as he opened it, groaning when he saw me. "What do you want?"
"Just wanted to check on you." I said as he leaned against the door, wearing a long sleeve black shirt and baggy pajama pants.
"Well thanks, don't come again." He tried to close the door, but I stuck my shoe in right before he could, forcefully opening the door.
"You don't get to slam the door in my face." I said, barging into his room. "I came down here, I'm skipping my night classes, which I only have once a week, and probably dinner as well, so no. You are not shutting the door on me. You are going to talk." I grabbed his hand closing the door with my foot and sat him down on his bed. I followed behind him, sitting on the floor in front of him since I didn't see any other chairs.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" He asked.
"I didn't see any other seats." He patted the bed beside him as he moved to lean against the headboard. "Okay, now spill. What's been going on."
"Do I have to talk about this with you. You don't know me, we're not friends, I'm a dick to you." He paused. "Why do you care? I'm a dick to you." He repeated.
"I care because your hurting. I know you think you can hide it, but I can see it, and I understand what your going through and it's always nice to have someone to talk to." I replied, waiting for his response.
"How would you know what I'm going through. You're perfect. Your pretty, you have friends, you have no problems." He snapped.
"Being nice doesn't mean your happy, just like acting like a dick doesn't mean you have everything figured out." I snapped back. "And for your information, I struggled myself and didn't have anyone, which almost didn't end well. I can understand pretty damn well."
"What happened?"
"I asked first."
"Yeah, but-"
"You talk, I'll tell you what happened."
"I don't want to because I don't trust you."
"If I tell you; then will you tell me?"
"Yes."
"And your not lying?"
"No"
I sighed. "Well, after my brother died, I was struggling a lot. I lost a lot of my friends, and i spiraled. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. I hurt myself and others." I tried to be vague, not wanting to share all of the details about that part of my life. It's past me. Sure, I still have the scars, but everyone has scars. "Your turn."
"Your going to freak out." He chickened out.
"Draco, you can't freak me out. I've seen the worst thing anyone would ever have to see!" I exclaimed, pushing him to spit it out.
"This is worse."
"Then seeing my brother's dead body? Don't think so."
He huffed in defeat. "I have the dark mark." He mumbled.
"Okay" i replied, keeping a straight face the best I could, even though inside I was growing nervous.
"I don't want it. I've tried to get it off, but it won't go away. My dad made me get it. I can't tell anyone, I don't even know why I'm telling you. I know I need help, there's just nobody I can trust to help me-" he cut himself off, covering his face with his hands.
I couldn't help but feel awful. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his sobbing body and pulled him into my chest. His body shook slightly with every cry that came from him, and his hands balled into my shirt. His head rested on my chest as i let him cry his heart out, tears soaking my shirt.
"Everything's going to be just fine." I tried to soothe him with my words, running my hands through his hair. "We can fix this."
"You shouldn't get involved with me. I'm going to ruin your life." He muttered, voice shaky.
"My life's already messy! It's already not fair that you have to go through this. It would be worse if you didn't have anyone to help you." His tears began to let up a little. "Like it or not, your stuck with me for a while."
"I don't deserve that." Draco said, pulling himself closer to me if even possible.
"Draco, you deserve more than you think." I tried my best to comfort him, but I truly couldn't because I would never understand what he's going through. "May I see the mark?"
"Why?"
"Can I see it?"
He pulled his body away from me, sitting on his feet as he wiped the tears from his face, sniffing a little. "Are you sure?" I nodded in response.
He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his mark. It was littered with red lines and brush burn, along with scratch marks that broke my heart.
"Oh, Draco." I couldn't bring myself to form any other words than that. "Why did you do that?"
He shrugged, looking down, ashamed. I brought his arm to my face, pressing my lips to every one of the cuts on his arm. He only watched me, not saying anything.
"Please, Y/n." He paused. "Please help me."

Over the next few days, I did everything I could. I brought notes from classes, told professors he came down with a bad stomach bug from a prank so that they wouldn't try to send him to Madam Pomfrey.
Every day, I stayed in his room and sat with him until he fell asleep. I slept on his couch so I could be there when he would wake up from a nightmare.
I can't deny the fact that I've fallen for him more and more through the past few days. Every touch, every glance has made me want him more, not sexually, just romantically. He's a craving I can't rid myself of without having him.
Such as today, where his arms were wrapped around my body, face resting on my chest and my hands running through his hair. He couldn't sleep, so he asked me to stay with him instead of sleeping on the couch.
We've been lying there for over an hour, and I can't bring myself to sleep with this gorgeous boy laying on me. "You have no idea how crazy you drive me, Draco." I muttered, getting no response from him. Assuming he was fast asleep, I felt as if I could say whatever I wanted. "I wish you knew how much I love you."
"I love you too." My eyes widened as my hands froze in place.
"What?" I said again, confused. He was asleep, or so I thought.
"I said, I love you too." He lifted his head from my chest, looking me in the eyes with a small smile on his face. "You stayed with me through everything. How could I not." Without another word, he moved forward and placed a kiss on my lips. I was too startled to kiss back at first, but I quickly snapped out of it from the feeling of his soft, minty lips on my own.
"You helped me. I will always love you for that."

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