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The House of the Hearth.
The Fatui.
Why did you have to find out this way?
Lyney wished he could cover your ears as the dreaded words left the Hydro Archon's lips, the betrayed look across the Traveler's face further rubbing salt into the wound. He couldn't look – he didn't dare to look – for imagining that exact look on your own face was painful enough.
He had hoped he could keep it secret for longer, no, until his grave he wished you were left unaware of his true identity. But if he had to – forced to and left no choice – he would rather have you find out by his own words.
Not from the god, a preeminent being that was no one but a stranger.
Not ever. Not like this.
Right now, clearing his name was not the issue. Oh, there was simply too much to fix, too much to mend, and too little time nor trust to do so.
He wished a simple card trick could fix this all.
But a stroke of luck seemed to be gifted to him at the moment. Although he knew he hadn't completely won back the Traveler's trust, he wouldn't be left in court to fight for his name alone. But he couldn't say the same when it came to you, walking past by your form whose eyes were fixated on the floor.
Why wouldn't you look at him?
The successful adjournment of court wouldn't, or couldn't, stop his stomach from knotting in various ways, his chest tightening as he watched your unresponsive form leave the opera house. He should stop you, grab you by the hand and explain.
But what good is it if his words would not even go in one ear?
He had promised you, quite frankly, a lot of things when going into the relationship. He knew you had great difficulty when it came to trusting people; he knew of your past – the ins and outs of your childhood which you vulnerably revealed to him one late night under the moon.
He knew, so what right did he have when he had practically broken them all?
Would you understand that all those trust me's and I love you's were nothing but the truth, uttered from the bottom of his heart, uttered from the lips of the 'true' Lyney? Would you understand that, although he will accept all your secrets and flaws, he would never utter a word about his past, his deepest secrets?
Would he understand the hypocrisy of his desires?
"[name]!"
Unfortunately, the weather seemed to match the mood of the two, the earlier drizzle slowly turning into a heavy downpour. They stood in the middle of Fontaine's streets, surrounded by passersby who were nothing but strangers, unknowing to the secrets and flaws and fears and desires held by each and all they had looked at and ignored.
Will he be one of those passersby too, in your streets of Fontaine?
Although the rain seemed to drown your tears, Lyney stayed oh-so-attuned to the sound of your voice that traveled through the loud downpour.
"I was...going to tell you." Lyney finally spoke between the pregnant silence, gritting his teeth as he spoke out words even he knew were excuses.
As long as it made you stay, right?
"We both know that wasn't going to be anytime soon."
Your voice, oh, how melodic it was to his ears – it was easy to stay ignorant of your bitter tone with a voice as sweet as yours. But couldn't you turn a blind eye this time? To block your ears and shut your eyes, like you'd never heard or witnessed anything in court? Wouldn't that be a much easier pill to swallow rather than the bitter lump caused by the lack of ignorance?
"No, I...I was going to. I swear."
"Are you really going to keep lying?"
He wished you hadn't turned to look at him.
Why did your face contort into such a painful expression? Lips pursed into a thin line as you furrowed your brows, and unsightly glare directed towards himself. At that moment, he couldn't help but think that Traveler's expression would be more preferred by his heart.
It would've been easier that way.
"Was it all just for show?" Your voice grew quieter with each word you spoke, but the rain did not aid Lyney in tuning out the anguish in your voice. "Keep me fooled and thinking that...that..."
"...that you actually trusted in me?"
...What?
No, no, no, no, no.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to blame him – the liar, the hypocrite, the fatui. The tears in your eyes, the pain in your voice – it was all him! He was the main cause and yet...yet why weren't you blaming him?
"I thought I could be someone you could be yourself with."
He is himself with you.
"I thought I was someone enough for you to trust in."
You are enough to trust.
"I thought...you could love me."
And he will, forever and ever.
Oh, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. No, not at all.
"Stop..." Lyney attempted to wipe away the water from his face, unable to discern whether it was his tears or the rain. "I..."
I'm sorry.
But apologies are useless from a liar, are they not?
I take it back.
I lied.
I wanted to tell you.
...Did I want to tell you?
I...
"Au revoir, Lyney"
And so you were gone, like the many magic tricks he performed once on stage.
I love you, ma chérie.
And yet another one of his secrets, left untold.
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Much shorter than my usual but Lyney angst was a need.
I also love how not a single Lyney fic I've read does not miss with him calling reader "ma chérie" and I'm LIVING for it.
