𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, was fine and easy. You slept well and nothing was really weighing on your mind. In the morning you'd have your day out with reo, and you didn't have to plan any of it either--so there was no stress or worry for tonight. But for someone else, their night wasn't so easy. That someone couldn't get their mind off of you.
A recurring dream that rin consistently had, it's been happening more and more since after your fight. It was more or less a dream, more like a memory. It followed step by step what had happened--for the most part. It sort of was a blurred a string of memories together.
It always started after the time you and rin first met, when you were six.
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After meeting you at that soccer club, you found out that you went to the same school─though you didn't have any of the same classes, you did ride the same bus. Every morning he sat next to you, happily listening to everything you said. He really liked listening to you ramble.
After class started he'd have to wait until recess to see you again. But he didn't really remember those parts of school, or elementary much at all. So it would suddenly cross over to middle school.
Right around the time he realized his feelings for you.
"Rin are you listening?" You turn your head around, your eyes being met with his. Though he was spacing out.. "uhm.." You hum as you raise an eyebrow.
"Oh sorry, sorry I just..i was just thinking." Thinking about you. He shook his head as more thoughts of you invaded his mind. 'It's not even like I..like-like her..so why does this keep happening to me?' He was still wrapped up in his thoughts, once again not realizing you were talking to him.
"──well am I right..?" You grab his attention with your question. He didn't want you to know that he wasn't listening, again, so he just pretended to know what you were supposed to be right about.
"Yeah, yeah you are." Your face dropped a little at his answer, that must've not been the right answer.. "uh actually sorry no..?" Why'd you want to be wrong? Just what the hell did you say?
"You weren't listening again." You seemed to sigh a breathe of relief, only furthering his questions. "Come on I wanna play this one first!" You pull his arm running up to the ddr machine, one of the only up and running games in your guy's favorite run down arcade.
But as you two played, he didn't care about winning. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. His feet moved in accordance to the flutter and excitement in his stomach and he gripped the bar behind him tighter. How could you always look so gorgeous?
Whenever you'd sleep over and your hair would be all messed up in the mornings or in the summer when the two of you would spend days just eating snacks and playing video games non stop--not showering for who knows how long, your greasy and disheveled appearance that would have made you look like you were auditioning for a zombie in some movie..he still thought you were beautiful.
But stupidly, he didn't quite understand why.
Until now on this nearly broken ddr machine, he realized why. He realized why you were the last thing he thought about before he fell asleep. He realized why you were the most gorgeous girl he'd ever laid his eyes on. He realized why he would feel a ping of jealousy whenever someone else would hang around you.
He realized he loved you.
That day you spent together went on far longer than it did in his dream, but as it would suddenly fade he could feel the butterflies in his actual body begin to fade. Though that was a good thing, it was a very uncomfortable and odd sensation while he was asleep.
And suddenly he ended up in his bed looking to be probably just a few years ago, maybe freshman year? Maybe a year earlier? He wasn't sure.. He didn't quite remember doing this but he also had a weird sense of deja vu like he definitely did before--he just couldn't remember when.
'I don't know what to do..' He'd never admit it, but rin had jealousy issues. So seeing you get closer to another guy at school, it was messing with him in ways he wasn't sure how to do deal with. The boy just started off as your lab partner but as you two started to hang out more and more, rin didn't know how to handle it.
It wasn't as though he didn't want you to have other friends or anything, or to isolate you from guys or anything.. But he just couldn't help his emotions. He didn't want you to get bored of him. What if you started to like the other boy more and left him behind?
"Fuck..i-i love her..so fucking much." His voice cracked every other syllable, maybe it was pathetic to feel on the verge of tears, it's not like it was a big deal. But he couldn't help it. "You're..you're everything to me.." It hurt how much you meant to him.
"I don't want to hurt her." He knew he was making this small thing way bigger than it was, what other things would he do? Would he accidentally hurt you? He doesn't want that. 'But if she hurts me..i won't be able to handle it.' This was giving him a headache. And a heartache.
Everytime he thought of you, he felt overwhelmed? His heart felt heavy both with pure and utter love, and with a sort of sorrow..? Something that could be best described as lukewarm fuzzy feeling.
And for some reason he felt that since he loved you, he could never tell you that he loved you.
He hoped tomorrow he could see you, so he could apologize..
