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𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐘, in the escape room, still having mindless fun..rin found himself in the bathroom again. It was his first, second or third time having this problem. Hell this must have been his thirtieth time in just blue lock alone.
He hadn't developed this issue after his fight with you. It was far before that. But it had died down a lot until recently.
But after last night's memory-like dream.
His nerves we're on a rampage. He was..scared.
All the what if's rampaging through his mind..and stomach. He felt sick. You'd think he'd get used to this, as it was, well such a normal occurrence.
But getting used to this feeling was impossible. The fear. The anxiety. The intense and overbearing nausea right before throwing up.
It was about 9:30 when he'd run in the bathroom..and as the nausea began to pass, he flushed the toilet and couched down, leaning against the stall wall to rest.
Someone then walked in.
"I knew you'd be in here." An overly familiar voice spoke, startling rin--he didn't want anyone to see him like this. In some of the more early stages of blue lock, he'd been seen in this exact position by none other than shidou. He didn't want, nor need that again.
"You know she had every right to say that." The guy on the other side of the door his feet facing away as his back was against the stall. "And I'm not gonna say I didn't want to ask some of the questions that you did..cause I did. But with the fuckin hole you dug your ass in--you soo weren't in the position to ask them."
Ah..he was referring back to the kaiser incident. When rin had asked questions about what happened before the game and how you responded a tad bit harshly.
Fuck he'd just nearly forgotten about that..you know for the moment.
"Shidou why are you here." His voice was a bit hoarse from all the throwing up he'd just finished doing. Did the blonde just want to fuck with him? He didn't care about him, so what was the point?
"Look, I don't really care what you do to yourself." He answers bluntly. "I don't like you, you don't like me." Rin rolls his eyes and wipes his mouth of any remnants of fluid. "But I do care what happens to her."
"I..I can't deal with this right now." His voice cracks and his eyes begin to well up with tears. If this was anyone else other than ryu, they would have left--taking the blatantly obvious hint to leave.
"Yeah well that's another thing your ass has to work on. Cause you're gonna have to deal with this." He slides down the stall and crouch sits. He sighs and whispers, "I'm worried about her."
Rin stayed silent. Of course he's worried, but how does he say that? And let alone say that to shidou of all people. "And I know you are too." Rin looks under the large gap in the stall to see shidou uncomfortably shifting. "So why are you being such a dick?"
"I-I'm not trying to be..I don't know--" his vision begins to blur with the tears finally spilling and his breathe speeds up rapidly. "I don't know──I don't know.."
"Shit calm down.." The blonde exhales deeply, "God you're a fuckin wreck, ya' know that?" He stifles a laugh, not wanting to push him to throw up--he didn't want to hear it. "So you're not trying to be an asshole, you're just being an asshole?"
"I don't mean to be though-"
"Yeah, yeah I know. You apologized, and all that.." Besides ryu half way understood the feeling. To push those you love away. Say things you don't mean. He did it when he was younger, when he considered himself to be a coward.
"You've been her friend for far longer than you deserve and you really thought you had to push her away?" He just didn't get how he could be your friend for so long and think that you would abandon him.
I mean in his opinion he was great and amazing and anyone in there right mind would leave someone for him in the drop of a hat but..you wouldn't have.
After the years you'd spent with him, you'd fought before. Quite a lot considering..but you always made up like it was nothing. Rin never liked going to be with a fight unresolved, therefore every fight never went on long. You'd been with rin for so long, you loved him so unbelievably much..but blue lock fucked your whole relationship up.
Forgiveness is a difficult thing.
"Yea I know.." Rin felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. He missed you. He missed you so fucking much. If he could go back in time and change one thing about his life, he would choose what he said to you.
If you would have asked him what he could change in his life a while back, it would have been to stop sae from changing. But at this point he cared more about how badly he'd fucked up with you.
"If you know, then why do you keep fucking up??" Shidou was right. 'For once..' Rin thought. But nonetheless he was right..but how could he stop it? "You know she cares a shit ton about you--no matter how mad or upset with you she is right now..she does care."
"I don't know about that." You had every right to be upset with him and rin knew that all to well. After all he was more upset and mad at himself than you could ever be with him. "She seems pretty done with me."
"Yeah your dumbass would think that." Rin grinded his teeth, slightly angry with his remark. "Before your fight, when we were all on the same team still..she uh, she told me some things."
Rin whipped his head in ryu's direction in shock and curiosity. This more than peaked his interest. It sounded like something positive didn't it? Fuck did that thought alone tug at his heart.
"Like..like what?"
"Like hell I'm telling you." Shidou would never admit it outloud..but when you'd tell him about things you and the itoshi did together--he couldn't help but feel jealous.
