TITLE: you tell me that forever couldn't come too soon (are you ready to start) AUTHOR: antigoodboy on AO3
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1.
Someone is lighting fireworks. Seishirou is awake before he realizes, the darkness of the ceiling indistinguishable from the darkness behind his eyelids. He should see who it is. On three: One, two-
Seishirou lifts his head just enough to squint out the bedroom window. Some primary school kids are setting them off, giggling all the while, heads pressed together. Just looking at them makes Seishirou's bones ache. His head collides with the pillow, a crick in his neck for the effort. One hand grabs at air until it comes in contact with the string for the blinds. Pull. The sound mutes somewhat. That same hand grapples for his phone as it comes down, preserving what little energy remains.
The screen hurts Seishirou's eyes, and the time hurts his feelings.
In four hours he would have to get out of his bed, walk to the bathroom, brush his teeth. Slip on his school uniform over his boxers and undershirt. Find something in his kitchen to eat. Chew. Swallow. Repeat, if he's unlucky. Socks, shoes, backpack. Ten things before he even makes it out the front door.
The groan dies in his throat.
Is this living? Counting the moments between seconds? It doesn't seem right, but Seishirou doesn't know enough about living to be sure. What he knows about living amounts to this: sleep, eat, school. Fill the time in between with the least bothersome things possible. Exchange school for work at some point. Live, laugh, die.
That doesn't explain the drive some people have. The urgency with which they run through life, the desperation that pushes their bodies to the breaking point. It doesn't explain movies, art, music. It doesn't explain anyone and why they do anything.
He doesn't know if he'll ever understand it. Seishirou drifts back into sleep without realizing.
2.
Mikage put his number in Seishirou's phone. It hadn't crossed his mind that was what Mikage was doing earlier on the staircase-disoriented by the annoyance of being deprived of his games temporarily. Yet there it is, in the notifications at the top of the screen and nestled in his contacts.
Mikage Reo: Nagi! I'll pick you up tomorrow! 7 AM okay? and pack cleats!
i dont have any, Seishirou messages back. That's that. He places his phone down, yawns. Summons the energy to brush his teeth. Brushes his teeth. Summons the energy to walk back to his room. Sits on his bed, one new text. Seishirou blinks.
Mikage Reo: whats your size
It takes Seishirou a moment to remember what they were talking about.
