Quaver and Storm

Chapter 25

The night had worn on as expected; the five of you almost pickled yourselves outside and in with hot tub and liquor. Kat, who hadn't grown up with the four of you, was highly amused by the hilarious and stupid shit your friends kept bringing up. You watched her surreptitiously as she soaked it all in. You didn't know Kat hardly at all, but you felt a serious kindred spirit with her, and not just because she went to town on poor Lee Know for you. She seemed genuine and smart and was obviously hilarious. Plus, Sue had great taste in girls, despite her somewhat questionable taste in guys– pretty much anyone Sue let spend the night at her house had passed the "Sue test", which meant you could trust that they were good people.

Not only that, but Lee Know loved her, you knew; as a friend, for sure, if not more. He had been smitten with her from the first, and was hurt when she chose to leave. Even now he picked up the phone when she called, which let you know more than anything that he definitely cherished her in some way. You'd seen him ignore phone calls from his best friends, family, even band mates, preferring to initiate contact on his own terms– and you didn't think you'd ever seen him pick up a video call that wasn't from Han Jisung. Even then it was iffy.

So obviously Kat was something special. The fact that you felt zero jealousy about it was proof. You didn't expect yourself to be able to meet every emotional and sexual need of all eight men by yourself; and truthfully, they didn't mind sharing you so how could you mind sharing them? Especially with someone you already liked. As long as everyone was open and honest, you simply didn't care. Truthfully, you had more important things on your mind– Bang Chan. He was your first true love, and things were not going well.

As the night deepened, one by one the girls drifted off to showers and to sleep. Since crew often came to stay with her, Sue liked to keep her house as guest friendly as possible; there were several bedrooms plus many nooks and crannies that were conducive to sleep. Add in a stocked bar and a giant hot tub, and Sue's house was becoming somewhat legendary amongst female road crew members (and the occasional male) as a fun and safe place to rest on long stopovers. She'd done lovely things with the property she'd inherited from her grandmother; and as a result, Sue's family now extended worldwide.

By 2am you and Kat were the last ones left awake, cuddling on the couch under a thick fuzzy blanket and talking. Kat had amazing stories, and was endearing as well as hilariously entertaining; you could see why Lee Know had been so enamored of her. In fact, their personalities had striking similarities, which just made you want to cuddle her harder.

It also made you wonder what Lee Know was doing right now... if he was upset, or if he even knew, or if he cared. You shook your head, trying to rid your mind of them, but they clung... your darling Lino... your beautiful, loving Hyunjin... sweet, strong Changbin... every one of them, perfect for you, refusing to leave your tipsy brain. You pictured Felix's laugh, Innie's quick smile, Seungmin's teasing sing-song. It was the memory of Han Jisung's face, his wide-eyed, honest adoration, that broke you. Feeling tears threaten to spill, you sat up, intending to excuse yourself to stumble to the bathroom and let it out– but Kat, drunk though she might be, caught your shoulder as you pulled from her warm embrace.

"Baby! What's wrong? Oh no... oh honey, I know." You broke at the sound of her concern and crashed back into her, crying in giant gasping sobs. Kat petted your hair, murmuring softly to you while you let it all go. "I know. It hurts. Get it all out, and screw Bang Chan! I'm so mad at him!"

"It's not just Chan. I... I love them now, Kat. I fucking love them all now. They are my family. But I could lose them, if I lose Chan... and the worst part is, I don't even know if they would care!" Your voice broke, letting loose more sobs.

"Uh uh! Girl, don't you even think that way." Kat held you by the shoulders so she could look you in the face, snatching a tissue and dabbing at your cheeks as she lectured you. "Those boys are not like that. I may not know them like you do, but I know that if they made you family, then they all care deeply about you. Lee Know says Hyunjin is as in love as Chan is, if not more. Lee Know loves you, and so does Han, though neither of them would have told you I'm betting?" You nod, sniffling. "That's typical. Those two, playing it close to the vest. My point is that they do care, I promise, but that's not going to make it easy. If you and Chan break, it'll hurt them all. That's not a reason to stay, mind you, just the truth."