Heroin || BWWM||Book.1

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝟳𝟲

𝙅 𝘼 𝙆 𝙀

Excuse me ?

"Wait- what ? What do you mean ? That's not an answer to my question" The silence was loud but nothing louder than the pounds my heart made. At any second my while sternum might break.

"Jake- I- I can't"

"You can't ? Can't what ?"

"I can't let you hurt me. I could barely handle this now but if this happens and I'm gone ? I can't. I love you too much to let you find some way to break me"

"Break you ? Mani I'm not going to hurt you. I didn't cheat !"

"It's not about cheating read between the lines ! We're not our best. We have too much going on to keep up with each other. You're a rockstar and I'm moving to London we can't stop having issues and we like thirty minutes away from each other how the hell are we gonna handle 4,000 miles ?"

"Mani this doesn't make any sense. You said we were happy"

"I'm not unhappy with you but right now...right now we just shouldn't-"

"No ! Imani that's bullshit ! I was wrong for blowing you off and not talking about Camilla and I admit that but you can't do this because of it. You can't use that anger as an outlet for this ! I'm not having it"

Her eyes. Always those eyes. The prettiest eyes she'll give my daughter one day. They were red and teary. She held her tears and obviously much more. There was a whimper before she spoke. She doesn't even want to cry for me. Did I really push her THIS far ? Was I that bad ?

My body wasn't in control of itself anymore. My emotions took over. The very emotions that can't even control themselves. The same emotions that endured Stacey and now are the reason I'm in therapy. Again.

"I'm not letting us keep this up. It's not doing either of us any good"

"Love you can't just leave"

"You won't so If I don't leave we're just gonna ruin each other and I don't want that"

" I do ! Ruin me ! Break me. Put me together and do it again. You could shatter me for I all care but at least I have you" That's my problem. Id let her ruin my life and leave me soulless. I don't care as long as it's her. "A girlfriend is the last piece of you I have you can't take that away from me. We had plans this weekend"

"And now you can replace them with whatever you want"

"I want to spend them with you, Imani. You need to think about what you're saying. You didn't want to then so what's the problem this time"

"We had room for improvement then but now I know it won't work"

"How can you sit here and say we won't work ? Mani I love you"

"And I love you which is why we need to do this. We have to break up so we don't ruin what we have. You're too good of a boyfriend and I don't want to see you as anything worse. I don't want our relationship to be a fail"

"A breakup is a fail. Love please" My knees touched the tip of her toes. I buried my head in her thighs and pulled her hands in my hair.