Paid Love (Dr.Strange x reader)

Twenty-One

You held tightly onto Stephen's hands, listening to the pastor saying the things a pastor said during a funeral. You weren't very fond of this religious funeral thing, but your mother wanted it that way. After everything that had happened, you didn't want to believe there was a person, a god, actually causing and controlling the things that were happening to you.

You looked to the right, at Stephen who was looking at the coffin which was slowly lowering itself into the hole. Even if you weren't religious, you wouldn't be too surprised to learn he was sent from heaven, though.

Your eyes stayed on him, avoiding the coffin- the rest of the world, actually. Then you noticed Stephen's jaw clench and it made you realise this whole thing was as uncomfortable to him as it was for you. He was surely still blaming himself for the death of your mother. The coffin was sure to remind him of that.

Your hand reached slowly but surely for his hand and gave it a somewhat comforting squeeze. His head turned to look at you and you made sure to smile reassuringly. Ironic enough, you were the one comforting him and not the other way around, although it was your mother's funeral. I guess that's how it was to be a people pleaser with an abusive ex boyfriend.

Stephen smiled back, looking back at the pastor. The coffin was now being covered with dirt.

***

While taking a cup from the cabinet in the kitchen, you lost yourself in thoughts, processing the funeral that had taken place just 2 hours ago. Tea was the best thing you could do during these times, so you started boiling water and chose a flavour for your tea. Stephen had quite a lot of them. But your favourite was still the one he had made once. It had tasted so good. When you asked him what it was, he simply said it was just tea with a little honey.

When the water was ready and boiling, you took the boiler and moved it towards the cup. You stopped though, looking at your hand that was situated right next to the cup.

Just a little pain to relieve the guilt? You found yourself thinking again.

Though you tried to resist, you continued moving the boiler past the cup, hovering it just over your hand. Your heart was drumming through your core. Feeling like a viewer, not able to change or move anything, you watched how you slowly bent the boiler down. Everything around you faded away and any noises dimmed out. Your body was in control, and your hand holding the boiler, moved further. You were so close from pouring the hot boiling water over your hand when you heard Stephen talk.

"What are you doing?" you heard him say from behind you, scaring the shit out of you.

"Stephen! Oh, I-" You placed the boiler back down, letting some drops of water drip onto the counter but not on your hand. Then you turned around to face him. "I'm making tea. Want some?"

"No. Thanks." He looked at your hand you were hiding behind your back (not suspicious at all) then back at you in silence. You gave him a thin smile, trying to remove his suspicions. He let it be, knowing asking any further would bring nothing. He guessed you needed a distraction. "Do you know what I want instead?" He made a few steps forward, reaching you.

"Hm? No."

He brought his hand to your cheek, raising your look, making you meet his eyes. "Why don't you sit down on the counter and I make you forget about what you just wanted to do to yourself."

"Forget what? I didn't want to do anything."

"Not even tea?" He raised one brow.

"Yes, of course-"

"Don't lie to me. You know it's of no use."

You didn't add anything to it. He knew. He was right. He was right about everything. But you were too stubborn. Or maybe you just simply weren't able to help yourself.