Just a Pucking Grumpy Goalie [COMPLETED]

Chapter 30 - The talk

Brick

I forgot how much fun you can have without penetration. Watching kitten find her sexuality is fascinating. Sure, dry humping her isn't the best orgasm I've ever had, but how could I not come with her underneath me?

And if I'm not satisfied, that's something I never want her to know.

I lie back and look at her. She looks so content it's hard not to love it. I reach out and pull her onto my chest. Her bed really isn't big enough for this, but I don't want to leave her yet. I just want to hold her.

She sighs and goosebumps spread over my body. I kiss the top of her head. Holding her is worth more than a great orgasm. And if I could go to bed with her in my arms every night, perhaps life wouldn't be so bad?

I could wake her up with my tongue and make every morning a good one for her. Or dream about her waking me up.

I take a deep breath and sink into the pillow. She shivers slightly and presses closer to me for warmth. We have no blanket and it's chilly in the room, but I wrap my arms around her and try to warm her up.

I don't want to give up on my fantasy just yet. Because I know that deep down inside, I could never condemn her to a life with a man that is never sexually satisfied.

She is one of the sweetest women I have ever met, so pure and gentle. And I love that about her. But it means I can never ask her to do the things I crave in the bedroom. Which means I could never be completely happy with her. And that's not fair to me or her.

So I hold her closer and promise myself that as soon as she has gotten what she wants from me, it's over.

My body goes stiff. It's going to be over soon. Every time we do it, we get closer to the grand finale. And once she's no longer a virgin, she has no use for me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say and let her go. I get up. "I should get going." My underwear is a mess, but there's not much I can do about that. So I pull on my shirt and start buttoning it.

There's no way she would stay with me if she knew. And I can't spend my life lying to her. I watch her watching me and I know nice girls like her freak when they hear what twisted things I want to do to them.

Nice girls don't want me. I look down at kitten and Jessica's face flashes before me. The despise she felt for me when she finally broke it off, when she told me I was sick and what I asked her for was perverted and wrong and nobody should have to put up with those kinds of things.

I don't want to see the tears in kitten's eyes as she tells me to leave her alone. As she tells me I've made her think less of herself.

"I have to go," I say and find my pants. She's still lying naked on the bed, watching me with a slightly worried look on her face.

I have to go, because if I don't, I'll want to stay with her all night long. And that will only lead to bad things.

And yet, I don't put on my pants.

"Brick?"

I watch her, still naked.

"Yeah?"

"What if I want more?"

"Then we'll do more." I step into one leg.

"Now."

I freeze. She wants more now?

Her eyes are filled with lust.

"I had a good time," she says.

"Me too."

She sits up and hugs herself. She must be cold.

"And I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay."

"If I stay..." I try to work moisture into my mouth.

"Then we'll fuck."

Her hair surrounds her face like a messy halo, and her lips are swollen from my kisses. She just wants one thing from me. She wants me to take her virginity and the faster I do that, the faster this will be over.

Does she know that? Does she know that once I've fucked her, we're over? Maybe that's part of it? Does she want our agreement to be over?

I want to rush to her, cover her with my body, and tell her I'm not letting go. That she has me for life. But I can't lie to her.

"Are you sure?"

She blushes. "Is it not possible?" She glances at my crotch. "I mean, because you already... came?"

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. "Kitten, it's possible. For you, anything. But I need to know that you're sure."

Finally, she looks at my face, and I could drown in her deep blue eyes.

"I want you to fuck me," she says in a shaky breath.

It's all I need. I pull the shirt over my head and get out of the briefs.

Every sane part of me screams to leave, to not let her magic take me over. But one look at her endearing beauty and I'm lost.

She lies back down and I lie next to her, supporting myself on one elbow as I place my hand on her waist. She's so goddamn angelic.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing." I trail my finger up to her breast. "I just remembered that this will never lead anywhere."

"I know."

"I don't do relationships."

"I know. But right now, I really want you. And I really want this to be the night when I lose my virginity. If you want to."

She adds the last bit as if there was ever any question.

I want to speak, but all I can do is swallow and nod. Because once this night is over, she won't need me anymore.

"I want you," I finally say.

I stroke one breast and kiss the other nipple. She relaxes under my touch and I get hard again.

"What if I do it wrong?" she whispers.

"Shh." I nip at her skin with my lips and move up to her neck.

"Do you want me in a different position?"

She's so perfect I can barely breathe and still she's worrying.

"You're doing everything right. I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

"I know it might hurt." Her hand reaches out to touch my cheek. "But I know you'll be gentle. I trust you."

Fucking hell, my heart is full. I lower my head and nibble right behind her ear.