Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 3 (Return of the Oumeno)

Cloning Around (5): Class Clown Himiko and Gundham

    Class Clown Himiko knocked on the door to 7th Island House. Gundham answered the door almost immediately, but frowned when he saw Class Clown Himiko.

   "What are you wearing?" he growled.

   "Nyeh...what am I wearing? Hahaha...what are you wearing?" Class Clown Himiko laughed. "You look like Dairy Queen just went bankrupt and became Scary Queen with that emo-looking ice cream swirl on your head! And what's with the getup? I mean, come on! You're wearing a scarf, a jacket, and some pants, even though it's, like, 85 degrees! What are you tryin' to be, dark and mysterious? Cuz it only makes you look crazy! Hey! That must be why you like animals! Are squirrels your favorite? That would explain why you're nuts!! Hahahahahahaaaa!!! Get it? Squirrel? Nuts? " Class Clown Himiko brought her horn out and started honking it as she laughed. 

   "Your humor does not amuse me," Gundham muttered in annoyance. 

   "Lemme guess, you're into dark humor? Hahahahaha!!" Class Clown Himiko said. "Okay, then, I've got a joke that'll...Tanaka your socks off!! Hahaha! Nyeh...so, I took a trip to Bermuda last summer. And I was caught in one heck of a love triangle, lemme tell ya. It turns out boats and ships aren't the only things to go missing off the coast of Bermuda. My hopes and dreams disappeared when I found out that the guy I liked went for the other girl. But, hey, it isn't all bad! They disappeared too after being eaten by sharks! Hahahahahahaaa!!"

   "That was not funny," Gundham sighed. "It is time to get serious! We must complete our quest to receive the mark of approval and satisfaction!"

   "Geee...tough crowd," Class Clown Himiko muttered, tugging her collar. "Welp, lead the way, O' Supreme Overlord of Ice!" Gundham led Class Clown Himiko to his and Fuyuhiko's room. Fuyuhiko was inside, working on homework at his desk. 

   "Hey, Gundham. Hey...Himiko?" he said, staring at Class Clown Himiko in confusion. "What's with the clown costume?"

   "I could ask you the same thing!" class Clown Himiko guffawed, honking her horn. Fuyuhiko turned to Gundham with a quizzical expression. Gundham shrugged.

   "Perhaps she's been hanging around that impudent, troublemaker boyfriend of hers for too long," he muttered. 

   "At least my boyfriend is human," Class Clown Himiko chortled. "What's your future wife gonna be, a hamster?" Fuyuhiko brought his hand up to his mouth and stifled a laugh. 

   "If you are going to continue to be so utterly obnoxious, I will have to cast you into the pits of misery and pain," Gundham growled. 

   "Hahaha, okay, okay, sorry! Didn't mean to ruffle your quills, there, Shadow the Hedgehog!" Class Clown Himiko replied. "Grab a hold of the chaos emeralds and lighten up! Haha, get it?" Gundham massaged his temple with frustration while Fuyuhiko continued to smile and enjoy Class Clown Himiko's performance. 

   "Anyway...let us get started on our science project," Gundham sighed. "I have decided to generate electricity via my Four Dark Devas of Destruction. That way, they can get the exercise they need, while at the same time-"

   "BOOOORRRIIIIIINNNNNG!!!" Class Clown Himiko interrupted, laughing and honking her horn. 

   "WHAT?! " Gundham roared. "Cease that infernal honking and explain to me what exactly you think is boring about it!!" Gundham demanded.

   "Nyeh...nobody cares about hamster-powered electricity! Where's the fun in that?! " Class Clown Himiko answered. "Science should be fun and full of laughter!" 

   "FOOL!!!" Gundham roared. "Science is far more serious than mere, worthless jokes and puns!"

   "I dunno, Gundham, I actually agree with Himiko," Fuyuhiko chimed in, tapping his chin with a thoughtful smile. Gundham gaped at Fuyuhiko with an incredulous expression. 

   "I did not know that you, of all people would agree with something so...foolish!" he exclaimed with disgust.

   "I'm just sayin,'" Fuyuhiko continued, holding his hands up. "I can't tell you how many times I fall asleep in chemistry. It's some of the most boring shit on the planet. It'd be nice to see somethin' amusing for once."

  "Tuh!" Gundham scoffed before turning to Class Clown Himiko. "Then, enlighten me...what idea could you possibly have in mind?"

   "We can do a study on the positive effects of tickling!" Class Clown Himiko suggested. "We can create a tickle device that would help even the most grouchiest person stop being so...well, grouchy!"

    "That is the most absurd, asinine stream of words to have ever had the misfortune of being uttered from the mouth of a senseless mortal!" Gundham yelled in annoyance and frustration. 

   "But it's true! Watch!" Class Clown Himiko said before reaching her hands out to tickle Gundham. Gundham suddenly broke out into wild laughter as Himiko drummed her fingers all over his arms and tummy.

   "Fwaaa-hahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!" Gundham roared with laughter. Even Fuyuhiko watched in delighted surprise and started laughing. Suddenly, Gundham shoved Class Clown Himiko's arm aside and glared at her. "You have evoked the wrath of the Supreme Overlord of Ice!!" he shouted. 

   "Uh-oh! Time to make a speeeedy getaway!" Class Clown Himiko said with a large smile as she reared back and dashed out of the room. Gundham chased after her, growling in anger. Class Clown Himiko turned a corner and stuck out her large, clown-sized boot. Gundham tripped so fast and hard that his body flopped once he made impact with the ground. 

   "Have a nice trip? See you next fall! " Class Clown Himiko guffawed as she honked her horn at him before running away.

   "Insolent fool!" Gundham shouted. He stood up and ran after her. He looked around wildly, but it seemed she had disappeared. 

   "Yoo-hooooo!!" Class Clown Himiko called from the kitchen. She waved at him before ducking back behind the wall. 

   "GRRR-AAAAUUGGHHHH!!!" Gundham roared as he ran towards her. As he neared the entrance of the kitchen, Class Clown Himiko smacked him in the face with a pie. 

   "Nyeh...sorry! Did I hurt your...fillings? " she asked, guffawing. "Cherry up! Don't be sad! After all, you had apple time to get out of the way! 3.14 seconds, to be exact! Hahahahahaaaaa!!" Gundham growled angrily and pounded the floor in frustration as Class Clown Himiko jumped into the air, kicked her feet, and dashed away, her manic laughter echoing behind her.