The Story of an Indian Wife

25

When he saw her face, he was left shocked!!

Her eyes were bloodshot red, her face was tearful. She was shivering as she had hiccups, not able to breathe properly.

She didn't looked the Meera he was living with from the past seven years.
He had barely seen her crying like that. she looked broken from inside.

She pushed his hands and again hide her face in her knees again. " Meera" He hold her in his arms, sitting in front of her " What happened?? Why are you crying?" He tried not to panic looking at her condition.

" Meera, please speak up. What is bothering you?"

But she wasn't in a condition to answer, she was just staring, at nothing particular  " Ok, let's go downstairs in the room then we will talk". He said in attempt to calm her.

She shaked her head lightly in no," It's getting cold here, Meera" Abhiraj said in concern. He was so worried for her.

"Y-you go... I-i won't-won't come" she spoke in between her sobs and harsh breathes.  "You will get sick."  He said, his eyes softing at her condition. He palmed her face.

Meera stared back in his eyes. " Aa-pko k-kya farkk padta hai??"she replied, making him dumpfound, " You are my wife, Meera". He replied instantly. ( Why it is bothering you)

"W-wife?" She chuckled lightly, as tears stream down her face. " You call me your wife? For years we are living like strangers in the same house." She spoke, her voice was slow yet firm. " we don't have anything between as like husband wife do have."

Abhiraj in dilemma, he was recalling the moment of romance he had with her while she was getting ready. And here she was saying they don't have anything between them. " D-do you remember the last time you spoke with your h-heart to me or you heard me speak....you don't right?" Abhiraj gave a nod, there was truth in her eyes that he can't deny.

" we have no words to exchange except the children, their needs and the family. " she looked away, it was seemingly like she was in some kind of spell. She herself was unaware what she was speaking.

But, Abhiraj let her speak, he wanted to Know what he had missed over the years. What mistakes he had committed? And especially what she feels?

What is hidden behind her always calmed face?

" You know why?? " she asked him, " Because y-you still l-love her" her heart burst against when she said that. Whenever she remembers him still in love with his first wife. Her hearts breaks again and again. She dig her nails in her palm.

" Who, Meera? What are you saying?" Abhiraj asked in anticipation, he couldn't digest the fact that she believes he loves someone else. " Your first wife, Gauri didisa. You still love her. You are still living in your past with her". She blamed him, as her eyes turned bitter.

" You are misunderstanding it Meera. I have moved on from her. Believe me..." Abhiraj didn't know what made her think that he is still in love with his first wife.

"I AM N-NOT MISUNDERSTANDINGS ANYTHING." she cut him in middle harshly, "I am jus-just your namesake wife" she breathe heavily as if trying to console herself, all the time she was compared to his first wife flashed in front of her eyes.

" you are getting me wrong...." Abhiraj tried to palm her face but she jerked his hands away and lined against the wall, away from Abhiraj. " DON'T TOUCH ME.... I feel disgusted about myself when you use my body and moan her name." Meera yelled at him, shocking his with her allegations.

Abhiraj felt like land slipping under his feet with the new relevation. He couldn't remember when he did such a huge sin. But he knows she can't lie, atleast in the state she was in.

But , He understood that her her allegations and vulnerability are not baseless. She has witnessed it. She has went through alot that he can never imagine. He thought he had neglected her efforts over the years. But he never knew that his past and his behavior has hurted her to this extent. His behavior has made her insecure about their relationship.

He agrees that when he married her, He was in a guilt. He was confused if he was betraying gauri by marrying Meera. But, he didn't know he had made her feel that he has not accepted their truly. Unknowingly, he was responsible for letting his first marriage effect the second one badly.

" When you didn't like-liked me then why did you marry me??" Her heart was not in control today. The gossips by those ladies has triggered the emotions she has been suppressing over the years. The pain she beared alone was coming out." Your family come for the alliance right? My family didn't force you. They didn't beg you to marry me."

" IF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DIDN'T LIKED ME THEN WHY DID YOU MARRY YOU??" she cried clutching his arms. "You married me and burdened me with your favor for the life".

" you are not a burden on me, you are the blessing of my life,Meera " Abhiraj reasoned but those doesn't seem to soothe Meera in anyway. "I know, I have disappointed you. I have neglected our relationship. I can understand..." He went closer.

" You can never understand how it feels to live in the house full of people, but still being distant with them. When you are considered different among them because you belong to a poor family. "

Abhiraj was in merged in deep guilt. And one after another words of Meera were penetrating his heart like a sword.." You never liked me" Meera mumbled to herself, " You have just brought me to Warm your bed. That's my position in your life. No emotions. No feelings. Nothing" she spoke like a manic.

Abhiraj tried to stop her but she continued mumbling. He feared that this might effect her health. " Our children are not born because of any kind of love they are just a result of lus......"

"Meera" Abhiraj screamed in rage as he raised his hand to slap her, he cannot tolerate a word against their children.
He believes their children are pure like their mother and they have inherited everything from their mother. They are the symbol of their togetherness, how can she call them result of his lust, how??

Meera closed her eyes ready to receive the slap but that never hit her face. She opened her eyes to see his hand raised and him taking deep breathes to cool himself. " why did you stop?? Hit me? " She took his hands and started hitting herself. " Meera" Abhiraj tried to take his hand back, but she hit herself again with his hand. 

"Meera" He took his hand back, shaked her holding her shoulder. " come to your sense "

" I am t-tired of this loneliness. I am tired of this life." Meera cried, as Abhiraj clutched her holding in his arms near his chest, " I am l-living only f-for my children.  If not for them I would have died by now" she hold his arms digging her nails in. " Don't say this, Meera" Abhiraj caressed her. All the problem in her life were because of him but he was the one who can calm her storming heart.

" I am just a replacement in your life. Replacement for gauri didisa physically." she stammered, " No one has accepted me and they will never do. Never"

"Why I am your second wife and not the first one?? Why???" she cried, before blanking out in his arms.

He patted her cheeks but she didn't wake up. He picked her in bridal style and carried her in the room.

He got to know that he has caused destruction beyond limits to her. He thought their relationship has started to mend as he was recognizing her efforts.

But, he came to know that their relationship is far away from mending. He had to take alot of effort not only to get her forgiveness but to mend her heart.