Damian : Im not mad
Respawn : Your mad.
Damian : How do YOU know that IM mad?
Respawn : How do YOU know that IM saying your mad?
Damian : .....
Respawn : .....
Damian : You have no clue what the fuck your talking about do you?
Respawn : Yeah....No
________________________________________________________________________________
Damian : You have 10 cookies-
Nika : Mm, Im Not really feeling it.
Nika : Can they be 10 strawberry milkshakes?
Damian : Fine.
Damian : You have 10 strawberry milkshakes. Then Someone takes five.
Damian : How many do you have left?
Nika *counting* : ₈₇ ₈₈ ₈₉ ₉₀ ₉₁
Nika : 91!
Damian *face palming*
Damian : HOW?
Nika : You times it by the strawberrys inside the milkshake then you carry the 1.
Damian : That is not how math works...
Respawn *raises hand*
Damian : What?
Respawn : Not you.
Respawn : How do you know how many strawberrys are inside each milkshake?
Nika : by the color duh.
Respawn : Oh, Understandable.
Damian *litteraly fuming* : WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNDERSTANDABLE?
________________________________________________________________________________
Damiam : When I first met you, I did not like you.
Jon : I'm pretty aware of that.
Damian : But then you and I had some time together.
Jon : Uh-huh?
Damian : It did not get better.
Jon : .....
Damian : But none the less Id still take a bullet for you.
Jon : Dami....Thats not healthy
________________________________________________________________________________
Respawm, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The plot, please. You know Im still learning to read This kinda stuff!
Rose reading an annotation on the cover of a book : A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New York Times Bestseller.
Respawn *raging* : Go fuck yourself
________________________________________________________________________________
Nika : What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Connor : That naptime was a punishment.
Connor : Id trade anything for a good 12 hours of sleep.
Connor : Straight hours. No disturbances.
________________________________________________________________________________
Damian: Say no to drugs.
Damian: Say yes to drugs.
Damian: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs, cause if you're talking to drugs... then you're on drugs.
________________________________________________________________________________
Connor : We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Damian : No, that's not how you make cookies.
Nika : FLOOR IT!!
Respawn : How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Damian : yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Nika: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Respawn : DO IT!
Damian : NO-
________________________________________________________________________________
Respawn : I like the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank?
Respawn : Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.
Connor : *clapping*
Nika : Bravo, That-That was beautiful.
Nika : *wiping tears*
Damian : This is why I regret teaching you how to read.
Damian : Its the Romance novels that do it...
Respawn : Shut up.
________________________________________________________________________________
Jason : Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
________________________________________________________________________________
Nika : Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Connor : That doesn't exist.
Nika : Not with that attitude.
________________________________________________________________________________
YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanfictionCute little oneshots surrounding Damian and his dysfunctional family/friends. Messed up timeline, don't blame me. Blame the speedsters in question, thank you. Tons of Robin 2021, and yes to all you Respawn touch-starved fans, there is lots of Respaw...
