Connor : Have you ever had these days where you feel like nothing
Damian : "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.
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Damian : If you heard bad shit about me you best believe it and leave me the fuck alone.
Respawn : Someones having a bad day.
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Respawn : Hold up- You can Choose What you Identify As?
Respawn : Like Actually Thats a Real Thing?
Damian : *Nods*
Respawn : Then Im gonna Identify as a Fucking Problem. Come see me.
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Damian : Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don't answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.
Respawn : .....
Nika : That says alot..
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Nika : "Im at your door babe"
Nika : Well I'm in your walls, step the fuck up
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Alfred : Who broke the Lamp?
Damian : It was Richard
Jason : Dick did it it.
Tim : It was Dick.
Dick up in his hiding spot on the banister.
Dick : But You PROMISED!
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Damian : *creeping behind jason to stab him*
Jason, loudly : I hope no one is about to attack me from behind because I'm thinking about making cookies later.
Damian pausing :
Damian : ...what kind?
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Respawn : I got jumped on my way to Mc donalds.
Nika : Why did you get Jumped?
Respawn : I dont know. Should i go ask them?
Nika : Yea-
Respawn : I swear to god you ask the stupidest questions and have the most stupidest answers.
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Helena : my classmat told me the word daddy is 'weird' so i cant call my daddy that...
Jason : Call him Bruh Instead.
Bruce : Please Dont.
Jason : Anything for you Bruh
Steph : Its Billionaire Bruh Wayne!
Duke : This is Such a Bruh moment
Bruce : Lena just Call me Dad Please.
Helena : No thanks Bruh.
Damian : Be happy it isnt Dude or Something.
Bruce : I'd rather have her call me daddy
Damian : ........JUST LIKE SELINA?
Steph : you wrong for that-
Jason : *wheezing*
Duke : *On the floor dying of laughter*
Dick : *laughing*
Bruce : *Glaring at Damian*
Damian : I regret nothing.
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Alfred: do you boys wish to come to church?
Duke: i've got patrol
Tim: i'm an atheist
Jason: I'm a satanist
Damian: ...No
Alfred Sighs sadly: Very well.
Jason : Okay Fine!
Duke : We'll Go Okay?
Alfred : Splendid Young Masters. Please Change into Something More Formal.
Alfred : God wont Accept you in Those Clothes.
Damian frowning : Whats wrong with our clothes..?
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Jon and Dami High on Pain Meds. (Kryptonite Ones For Jon)
Jon : I Feel Internal Aches and Burns I Just Wanna Cry....
Damian : Dont you Dramatic Bitch.
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Damian : RED ROBIN SUCKS!
Damian : What's he gonna do, throw a laptop at me or something.
Steph : PREACH!
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Damians Friends being Impressed on How he Breaks Out of Impossible Handcuffs Easily.
Jon Who has Xray Vision and Knows He broke Everyone Bone in His Wrist Getting Out of Those : ...*Terrifed*
Lian *Doing this just to see him cry* : High Five Dames!
Damian : *Painfully High Fives Her Holding Tears in*
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Tim was Playing a Prank on Kon
Kon : Dont quit Being Red Robin! PLEASEE
Bart : DONT LEAVE USSS
Tim : I stg im not DEAD We can still hangout.
Cassie : Ya'll Dramatic.
Cissie : Didnt you act the same way when i left???
Cassie : ....No
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Damian : Time to face My Greatest fear.
Respawn : Failure?
Damian : What? No its not Faliure.
Respawn : Oh that makes sense.
Respawn : Is it because your already a Faliure? Cause in that Case I agree.
Damian : Im not a Failure!
Respawn : Connor what do you call someone who did not succeed, Or ever succeed.
Connor: That would infact be a Failure.
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YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanficCute little oneshots surrounding Damian and his dysfunctional family/friends. Messed up timeline, don't blame me. Blame the speedsters in question, thank you. Tons of Robin 2021, and yes to all you Respawn touch-starved fans, there is lots of Respaw...
