Bruce: Say one thing nice about eachother. Now.
Tim *sipping coffee* : ....Your determination to kill me is deeper then your grave.
Damian :
Bruce :
Damian : Your immune system is strong enough to withstand the posion I left in your coffee.
Bruce : .....why did i have kids? Why did i do this to myself?
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Damian : Don't do this. You always do this. I hate it.
Nika : Do what?
Damian : Make jokes to distract me from whatever I am about to kill.
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Jason : Where is there a threesome for only sex? Like why cant I join in on a couples argument.
Tim : Either one its still like cheating.
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Damian then
Damian : No- Absoulutely not! I dont remember that.
Talia : It is true. You were a biter.
Damian : I NEVER BIT ANYONE.
Talia : Mara has the scars to prove it.
Damian : what..?
Damian now
Damian : Why cant I Bite someone if they piss me off? Like Whats the fucking issue here.
XXL : Not so sanitary.
Damian : Shut up or I will bite you.
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Nika : Wet ramen tastes better.
Damian : I like soggy ramen.
Connor : Stop
Nika : soggy and wet. Delicious.
Connor : Just stop.
Damian : Soggy like bread.
Connor : Ive come to the conculsion You both have a mental illness or your mentally unstable.
Connor : Theres no in between.
Respawn : Lacking mental stability.
Damian : Thats what he just said.
Respaan : no.
Damian : yes
Respawn : He said mentally unstable. I said lacking mental stability.
Nika : Ramen is soggy and wet. Soggy With cold broth.
Nika : Yum.
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Damian: And then I hit him!
Flatline: How hard?
Damian: Gave him a bruise.
Conner: Hit him enough to knock him out next time.
*Respawn flips them off while holding an ice pack to his face*
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YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanfictionCute little oneshots surrounding Damian and his dysfunctional family/friends. Messed up timeline, don't blame me. Blame the speedsters in question, thank you. Tons of Robin 2021, and yes to all you Respawn touch-starved fans, there is lots of Respaw...
