Flatline: On three we say our ideal romance!
Damian not even looking up: fine.
Flatline: 1, 2, 3,
Flatline: Morticia and Gomez!
Damian: Barbie and the diamond castle!
Flatline: ...
Flatline: Do we need to-
Damian: no..
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Flatline: haha...so what if I accidentally summoned back your dead grandpa?
Damian: ...the fuck?
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Flatline : Death is calling
Flatline : *Listens closely*
Flatline : Wait, nevermind.
Flatline : Its just my boyfriend.
Damian : WHERE ARE YOU? GET BACK HERE NOW!
Flatline : *ends call*
Flatline : I wouldn't worry about it If were you.
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Damian : Dont say a word
Respawn : Fergalicious
Damian : What did I just say?
Respawn :
Respawn : Oh, I see. 2 weeks ago when we played scramble it wasnt a word, But now it is. How convenient for you?
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Groupchat
Respawn : Do you ever want to place your hands someones cheek softly a lightly, hold their head in your hands and look into their eyes
Nika : Aw
Respawn : And Then violenly jerk their neck up right and snap their neck.
Connor : That took an unexpected turn.
Damian : So did their neck
Nika : lmao im dying-
Damian : so are they.
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Damian : I need you to punch me.
Respawn *pulls up sleeves* Alright.
Damian : Thats it? Your not going o ask any questions?
Damian : Like 'Why do you need me to punch you' and 'Damian are you okay?'
Respawn : *cracks knuckles* How hard?
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Damian & Connor talking about a break in.
Damian : The doors were open and the intruder forgot their right shoe shoe. And left sock.
Connor : Okay now thats something new....
Nika *including herself in the convo* : Are we just gonna ignore the obvious?
Nika : Like What kind of dumbass gets caught breaking into a museum?
Respawn *in the corner sweating without a shoe and left sock no where to be seen* : Actually, Funny story...
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Nika : Omg i got a snake bite. Wtf do I do!?
Damian : Elevate and apply pressure
Nika *grabbing the snake, lifting it really high*
Nika : Apologize, Or else
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Connor : Reccomend me a book that'll make me feel something other then rage or boardom.
Respawn : Something to make you cry?
Connor : Sure, what do you reccomend?
Respawn *holding in tears* : ......General mathematic grade 3 edition
Connor :
Respawn :
Connor : Okay... I dont know what to say..
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Respawn *holding an icepack to his temple*
Rose : How'd you get that bruise?
Respawn : Damian was mad at me.
Rose : What did you do now?
Respawn : He sneezed earlier and I accidently said 'Shut the Fuck up' instead of 'Bless you'
Rose : How do you accidently say 'Shut the fuck up'?
Respawn : Memory muscles.
Rose : I dont believe that.
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Damiam : Some idiot tried to beat up a squid at the aquarium.
Respawn *covered in ink* : Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
Damian : This is why I dont take you anywhere.
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YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanfictionCute little oneshots surrounding Damian and his dysfunctional family/friends. Messed up timeline, don't blame me. Blame the speedsters in question, thank you. Tons of Robin 2021, and yes to all you Respawn touch-starved fans, there is lots of Respaw...
