Talia : Okay Damian, Remember mommies lessons?
Small Damian : Yes Mother, Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.
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Damian : Father I came As soon as I heard. It is true you Are dying?
Bruce : Why do you sound so hopeful?
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Jon : Battle axe!
Maps : Uppercut!
Colin : Disembowlment!
Damian : Guys, I was a baby. My first word was "Mama"
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Selina : I thought I was meowing at the Cat for the past hour.
Selina : Turns out Damian and I were Meowing at eachother from different Rooms
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Flatline : CAROL BASKINS!
Respawn : KILLED her Husband. WACKED HIM.
Connor : Yeah, Cant convince me That it Didnt HAPPEN.
Damian : Feed Him to the Tigers THEY SNACKIN'
Flatline : AYE CAROL BASKINS!
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Damian trying to scratch his back
Damian : *Glances at his sword*
10 minutes later.
Dick *Cleaning his wounds * : Excuse me, With WHAT!?
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Damian : So your not gonna tell him?
Jon : Of course not, I know that Snitches get Stiches.
Damian : Thank you.
Jon : On that note Im a Kryptonian and Cant get Stiches So...DAMIAN BROKE IT!
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Damian *carrying a box* : Would you Be angry if I came home with 3 baby Kittens?
Bruce :
Bruce : Whats in the box?
Damian :
Bruce : Damian Al Ghul Wayne, Whats In the Box
Damian : I think you already know.
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Respawn : Are you Questioning my Sanity?
Damian : Im not Questioning it. Im Denying its Existence.
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Damian : You like nice and Id like to kiss you.
Flatline : What was that?
Damian *Panicking* : I SAID THAT IF YOU DIED I WOULDNT MISS YOU!
Flatline *already knows what he said the first time* : What?
Damian *extremely panicking*: I didnt say anything.
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Flatline : Excuse me, Have you ever been arrested?
Damian : Yes.
Flatline : I was gonna say "Because its illegal to be this cute" But now Im kinda Curious.
Damian : Aggravated Assault.
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Damian : Your too good for this World.
Jon : Really?
Damian : Yes, But thats okay. Ill be an Asshole for the both of us.
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Damin when he first met Nika.
Damian : I have to kill her first.
Rose : Why?
Damian : Because I dont know how to Flirt with her so......
Damian : She has to DIE.
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Rose : Okay so..You have 10 Cookies. You give someone 2 so how much do you have left.
Respawn : 10.
Rose : Okay...You have 10 cookies, Someone forcefully takes 2 From you. How much do you have left?
Respawn : 10 Cookies and a Dead body.
Jason *whos watching enthusiastically* : Kids got a point.
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Jon *Accidently spilled water on Damians clothes*
The Titans (dcau mind u) trying to get him down from the Tree.
Jaime : Hermano hes gone.
Gar : Yeah, you can get down now.
Raven : Damian left an hour ago.
Jon *Shaking* : Hes not gone, Hes still waiting...
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Damian : What do you call Murder, Vandalism, And Arson?
Nika : Hobbies.
Damian :
Nika : ...That I do not Engage in.
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I think that Damian USED to be sexist and stuff until Jason somehow taught him not to.
Damian : Why are you acting like a girl.
Jason : Whats wrong with acting like a girl?
Damiam : You know what I mean-
Jason : Then why did you ask me?
Damian : What?
Jason : WOW.
Damian : WHAT?
Jason : Do you really think THAT low of your sisters?
Damia : WHAT? NO I-
Jason : HONESTLY WOW. YOUR THAT INSECURE THAT YOU GOTTA MAKE GIRLS LOOK BAD?
Jason : REAL LESSON.
Jason : All Woman are Queens! TREAT THEM LIKE THEY ARE!
Damian : OKAY IM SORRY. IM REALLY SORRY!
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YOU ARE READING
Damian Wayne Oneshots
FanfictionCute little oneshots surrounding Damian and his dysfunctional family/friends. Messed up timeline, don't blame me. Blame the speedsters in question, thank you. Tons of Robin 2021, and yes to all you Respawn touch-starved fans, there is lots of Respaw...