Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Charlie. Breathing again.

Song recommendation for the chapter: What if i love you. - Gatling.
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"Charlie, you did it again. We all love how you play, but you have to keep up with the new rhythm."

Matias's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he realized he had once again stopped listening to them and had continued with the old version of the song.

"Sorry, sorry, I got confused."

"Again, from the top."

Once they started playing again, Charlie could think calmly. It was a rare skill, useful but potentially dangerous if overused. He could keep playing without making mistakes and not think about it at all. In fact, he would say that during those moments, letting every vibration be carried away by the drums, was the only time when he could truly think without interruptions.

"No, no, wait, I got lost," said Carina, the bassist, who, although fun and with excellent taste in video games, often got lost in her own songs. She was talented but easily distracted.

They were nervous, and it was palpable in the air.

That same weekend, Darcy and Tara were opening the small venue next to their ever-expanding cultural center, and Charlie and the band had managed to squeeze in a series of shows at home during the weekends off from their mini-tour of England. Obviously, Darcy and Tara's payment for inaugurating the venue was symbolic, which Charlie didn't mind. The center had only been open for three years and hadn't achieved any kind of success yet, but they had managed to keep it afloat, and more and more people seemed interested in the project. Elle and Charlie were the biggest fans of the space; it meant a safe place for the queer youth in the area. Tara's grandmother's abandoned house had now become a small cafe, a mini bookstore, an exhibition hall, Ellen's classroom, and now a mini venue in the backyard.

After finishing one of the songs, Charlie saw Tara and Darcy arranging some boxes at the back of the yard. One of the heavier ones was about to slip from Tara's hands, and Darcy quickly ran to help, giving her a smile and a kiss on the forehead once she had saved it from falling.

That small display of affection had a strange effect on Charlie; it touched him as much as it hurt him.

He was extremely scared about the upcoming months. He was happy to be finishing his degree; one more year of graphs and strange and endless lectures on imaginary numbers, and he would graduate with a degree in applied mathematics. Now the real question was, what to do with a damn degree in applied mathematics. Like music, Charlie understood mathematics almost as easily as the other, but neither seemed to present him with a creative challenge. Now that classes were nearing an end, his parents were determined to pester him daily about the future of the band or his career, and Charlie didn't have an answer for either of those questions.

"Why don't you tell them how well they're paying you on your tour," Tori, his sister, seemed to see everything in a straightforward and pragmatic way, something a melodramatic person like Charlie needed but didn't always understand.

"You say it as if we were traveling the world with our fans." Having mini-concerts every weekend in some localities on the island wasn't exactly a proper tour.

"You're too good at downplaying your work."

"I don't tell them because it doesn't seem to matter to them. They think it's just entertainment while I finish mathematics."

"Charlie, we all know that you study mathematics because you enjoy being the nerd you've always been. You're an incredible musician, and you write incredible stories, in addition to the many songs I've heard from you. You have to bet on that." Charlie deeply missed Tori, who was successful in her career somewhere in Canada. She sounded happy, and she might come to visit him soon, but not having her around constantly was a nightmare, especially now that Oli was growing up and gradually becoming an insufferable pre-teen.