Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Charlie. Squares

Recommended song for the chapter: Whats the time where you are. - Something to give each other. - Troy Sivan.
————————————-

"I can't believe the last time we were granted a millimeter of privacy I let you go...and now I miss you so damm much."

Charlie happily looked at Nick's message before heading into class. After their second date and the spectacular time they had shared in the woods, they were both desperate to see each other alone again and sleep together. Unfortunately, school, work and Nick's move had kept them busy or at least close to other people who wouldn't appreciate them on top of each other all the time.

If they weren't apart working or studying they were packing things with Sarah, driving Oli to engagements, at parties, apartment hunting for Nick (and Charlie for himself secretly) or generally spending time with friends or downtown. Two weeks had already gone by like this, and Elle's birthday was coming up, so they were also using their outings with friends to plan for it. Elle was turning 25, finishing college soon and starting a promising job and setting up her final exhibition, so they all wanted to celebrate in style at the center. They had only been able to share kisses on specific dates or when saying goodbye. Charlie had tried to convince his mother to let Nick spend the night, but to no avail.

"When you move out you can do whatever you like Charlie, but not under my roof." Said his mother.

There was something adorable about the anticipation, about planning little getaways to walk or accompany each other on different tasks of the day...but they both needed to be alone with each other desperately.

Charlie had dreamed repeatedly of the afternoon in the woods, and each one got more graphic and wild.

"It's like I was telling you, the world seeks to separate us </3"

"I think I'm close to convincing my mother that you can stay soon...but truth be told I feel like a silly child asking her permission...would it be crazy to escape to my apartment in London for a weekend?" Charlie couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of jealousy and excitement at the thought. It would mean seeing Imogen, seeing her life...and he didn't know if he was ready. But no doubt they both needed it.

"Wasn't Sahar supposed to have left her apartment to move into yours with Imogen?" He thought about telling him how excited but strange London made him feel, but he supposed it would have to be later.

"Lesbians are going to end me...you're right, they're not even girlfriends yet and they already live together...how crazy isn't it?"

"JEALOUS BY ANY CHANCE?" Charlie teased him. He wasn't sure to what degree he truly felt jealous of Sahar and Imogen. Charlie supposed that rather than feeling possessive of Imogen, it was the idea of feeling that their relationship hadn't been real to her... which Charlie doubted. Imogen had always really loved Nick... she'd even called him her exception.

"SHUT UP LOVE <3"

"I understand them actually... to be honest <3"

"Me too <3"

Was it time to move in with Nick? He truly wanted to, and he believed he did too, but they hadn't yet said the words and formalized anything, they had spent only one night together where they just hugged in tears, then the same in the woods, and outside that they had been too busy or on impromptus dates. Everything felt new, fresh, but at the same time old and warm and beautiful. The feeling was there, but the circumstances didn't seem to align yet.

He wasn't even telling him he loved him yet.

Although the very idea of being able to come home to Nick every day, being able to wake up next to him always, and having the chance to rip his clothes off halfway across the room... well, it was enough to motivate him.
How was he going to propose it to him... I mean, eventually? The theoretical problem solving class in advanced research was really boring, plus he had already gone through the whole thing and had nothing new to offer him. He preferred to spend his time imagining ways to ask Nick to be his boyfriend again and move in with him. Drawing little hearts like a fool in his notebook.