Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Ben and Nick. An apology and a goodbye.

Song recomendation for the chapter: Angels like you. - Plastic Hearts. - Miley Ciryus
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Ben let out a deep sigh that seemed like he'd been holding in for years as he finished buttoning up the shirt that Otis, Cristian, Sai and Nick had voted for.

"Are you sure this is the best choice?"

"Hope we're not voting for your outfit again" Sai was lying on Ben's bed throwing a little ball at the ceiling, waiting for everyone to be ready to leave for the concert.

"I can't believe you talked me into going." Ben caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He had chosen a black faux-leather shirt and jeans full of patches that he loved. He could see Nick's reflection sitting at his desk, watching him through the mirror with a scowl. Even angry he looked irresistible, Ben thought, confused by his emotions. He was wearing an olive green crop top sweatshirt with the MCK logo and light jeans, an outfit Charlie had surely picked out.

"We didn't talk you into anything. You don't have a choice Ben. Either you go or I take you." Nick looked at him with as much sternness as was possible to his adorable face. "It's important to Charlie and to..."

"Mat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know... I'm just really nervous. Your birthday party, no offense, was a real torture."

"HOPE! Stop it, we all saw how you both wouldn't stop watching the other." Cristian teased him, throwing a balled up sock at him. The two straight guys in the group, Cristina and Sai, were dressed tragically... straight. Otis, thankfully, was not suffering from the same virus and was wearing an MCK sleeveless graphic tee and leather pants.

"WE WERE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OUT OF SHAME"

"That wasn't shame, that was a look that said "I want to come back to you, I've already forgiven you... please do as I say."

"Ah?...have you decided that I've already forgiven him?" Ben saw Otis smiling at him, teasing him. He was very grateful to Nick for reconnecting him with his old school friends, but all the support in the world wouldn't take away the fear he felt of seeing Matias play so seriously and dealing with the explosion of emotions that would mean. Having Nick so close...both of them seeing Charlie...both of them seeing Matias...all their friends waiting for the drama that night could bring.

It was too much for Ben's anxiety. On top of that they were expected at the after party? His heart wasn't going to take that much.

"Yeah, I've already decided...unless you want to leave him to me, I'm not complaining."

"OTIS" Ben pushed him with a chuckle, doubting if he meant it.

"Do you...like Mat?" Nick turned to him in confusion, and Ben could tell a strange mixture of nervousness and jealousy in his gaze.

Nick jealous of Mat? Who knew, that's a new one, Ben thought.

"Well..." Otis blushed. "I want Hope to have the love of his life of course... but I don't deny that he's very attractive."

"Then yes, I've already forgiven him." Ben assured, with a chuckle.

They all laughed as, all at once, finally left Ben's room. Otis, Cristian and Sai went ahead as Nick put on his shoes and Ben waited for him.

"So...are you serious?" Nick asked.

"What?"

"Have you forgiven him yet?"

"Well... I don't know. Yes and no. I'm rather sick of this pain, this distance... and I know he's the only one who can help me with all that."

"Very intelligent... finally. I thought you'd never get to that point."