Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Matias. Monsters.

Song recomendation for the chapter: Wonderland. -  1989. - Taylor Swift.

I'm trying something new. If Ben and Matias' story isn't of interest to you, spare this chapter and the next. This one, 45, and the next one, 46, which is written from Ben's point of view, narrate what happened between them after Elle's birthday party. If anyone likes visual references to imagine Matias, now that he is no longer bold, I imagine him as a 26 / 27 year old Darren Criss. The story will take its normal course after these two chapters).

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"Char... are you okay?" Nick's voice was the first thing Matias heard after bumping into Charlie, flustered and approaching him, who turned to look at him with a slightly blank stare. When Mat heard Nick's voice he immediately let go of Charlie and took a step away to stay out of their way, more nervous than he wanted to appear.

Not again, not again him ruining everything and losing them.

Not knowing what to do he sought Ben's gaze. "Ben can we...go outside for a second?" Mat clutched his gaze to Ben, who perplexedly rotated his gaze between the three of them.

"Sure." By a miracle he agreed, and Ben reached over to Matias and grabbed his hand, and though it sent electricity throughout his body, his beautiful green eyes saw only one thing. They kept seeing Charlie...

They both left for the party leaving Nick and Charlie alone at an uncomfortable distance.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Dance? But..." Ben looked confused.

The noise distracted them enough that the idea of drowning whatever they were feeling in alcohol was a possibility... but just as Mat tried to put on his best fake smile and pull Ben toward the dance floor to lose himself in the feeling of having him around... he stopped him.

"Are you okay?" without letting go of his hand he grabbed his other hand and pulled him to the side, away from the party. "You looked like you saw a ghost... I feel like I've been looking for you the whole party."

Ben wasn't going to let him get away from his feelings.

"I... I feel that way too. Were you with curly?"

"Curly?" Ben frowned and smiled, clearly hurt, and Mat could tell how he tried to pull his hands away a little, but he wouldn't let him. "Charlie? Yeah..." but his look wasn't just jealousy, there was guilt too. "You were with Nick weren't you?"

Jealousy, guilt, and more jealousy. Mat couldn't keep up with so many feelings.

"Yeah... god what a mess." Matias let go of his hands and covered his face. "Ben I think we need to... talk."

"Yeah... What a second date, huh?"

"Hey... it's our third."

"You count video calls?" joked Ben.

"We said too much not to count them."

"Do you want to talk here or...?" Ben indicated the exit with his head, clearly wanting to leave.

"Do you want to go back inside?"

"We might as well stay here... a second ago you looked like you wanted to go back to the party." Ben let go of his hands, crossed his arms and leaned against the wall next to the front door, looking out at the garden.

"I think I just... wanted to get away from having to... really say things." Ben smiled, and Mat was embarrassed at how flushed he was.

"To talk you have to tell me things..."