Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Nick. Before anything.

Song recomendation for the chapter: i wish you cheated - Alexander Stewart.
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Nick staggered home, hangover and sleepy, with a smile on his face that never left him for a moment.

When he walked through the door of his house he could see his mother in her robe, with hot tea and reading the newspaper. He had told her he would be home in the morning but knew nothing more. When she saw him, she just smiled at him and asked him to sit down in front of her.

"I think you need to have breakfast and tell me everything...well, whatever I need to hear." He said clearly wanting to leave out anything inappropriate. "Are you hungry?"

"I had breakfast with... Charlie... on those crepes we liked."

"Then everything went a lot better than we expected." She smiled behind the steam from her mug.

"...I guess it did." Nick covered his forehead, blushing and smiling. "He still loves me...and I him. Too much." Nick leaned his head back on the table, surrendered, he could see the winning expression his mother had. "Well I thinks so... he still likes me a lot and I still like him... I want him back."

"You can honey, you just have to work things out with Imogen. It will be hard but eventually it will be better for both of you. Apologize to her for what happened and..."

"Charlie and I didn't... we didn't even kiss or anything. I swear. We just talked... all night."

"Oh..." even Sara looked surprised by such a show of strength. "I'd forgotten how weird and obsessed you are with each other."

"Mom!" Nick complained with a chuckle.

"Well congratulations Nick, you're very strong. You both are. You did the right thing. Explaining everything to Imogen will be a lot easier without so much guilt."

"I still feel terrible."

"Do you still love her too?"

"Sure. I never stopped... but, it's weird, I don't know if I love her any more than I did when she was just my best friend. When it was just me and her that affection seemed enough to consider me in love... but now, it all pales in comparison to how Charlie makes me feel. I don't know how to say that to Imogen without sounding like a horrible person."

"I think you can choose your words better. Not lie to her but maybe not tell her things she doesn't need to know. Explain to her how much you appreciate her friendship and how it's more important to you than a long distance relationship...maybe she'll understand."

"I don't know if she will forgive me. I feel like losing her is losing everything we built over there. I would give everything for Charlie but I don't want to lose myself again in the process of getting him back."

"I understand." Sara thought about how to pursue her advice, but to be truthful she had never been very good about her own relationships. "I think one way to give yourself to someone without losing yourself is to find a way to share your lives. Maybe you and Charlie can be in London together, or stay here with your new job. I don't know, cutting Imogen off doesn't erase everything you learned and lived with her. Things don't lose their value when they end. It's the endings that give things importance.

"It's sad, but I think you're right."

"Did it hurt Charlie a lot to find out about Imogen?"

"I think so...but he was too busy with his own dramas. He's got a thing for someone here too...a fucker actually."

"Nicky language."

"He's possessive, controlling, aggressive, jealous, manipulative...but he was there for Charlie when I couldn't, and he likes him."