Love Potion [BTS JIMIN FF]

19

BINNA POV

It was almost 9 in the evening when my phone started ringing. I had to run out the bathroom in my towel as I just took a shower, but the number on the screen is not the one I have saved. 

I was contemplating if I should answer or not, but I figured why not. 

'Hello?'

Silence. Nothing but the white noise in the background.

'Hello? Anyone-'

'Hi. It's - it's me.'

How the fuck did he get this number?

'Ugh, bye.' I already moved it away from my ear, hovering my finger over the red icon to hang up, but he kind of screamed into the phone

'Wait! Wait! Give me 5 seconds! Please!'

I took a deep breath as I looked down at my screen, and brought the phone back to my ear. 'What do you want?'

'I'm sorry. Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did that made you so angry, but I really want to know. Please, just- Just tell me what it is. I will fix it. I promise. Just stop running away and ignoring me. It hu- It's confusing the shit out of me.' 

He kept stumbling over his words, taking deep breaths in between each pause, almost like he's resetting himself. But that's not even what is getting to me. It's his voice. That honey-sweet tone is anything but cheerful and mocking. He sounds genuine. Confused. And it's confusing me.

'Nothing to fix, Park. I'm good. Can you stop stalking me? It's kind of pissing me off.' 

'When you stop being a damn stubborn mule and tell me what the fuck I did wrong I'll stop it!' He got irritated and yelled into the phone, which only pissed me off more

'What the fuck is wrong with you, Park?!' I yell back. 'We were good. Then you suddenly decided to switch it up on me out of nowhere, treating me like shit and ignoring me, getting all assy without a fucking reason. Then another change of heart hit you and you were all over me, flirting with me, telling me all sorts of shit that I should have knows was just you trying to flirt your way in my pants-

'That's not what-'

'And then I was gone for a minute, and you just couldn't keep it in your pants and you were all over someone else! A fucking minute, Park!' I was screaming back at him with tears streaming down my face, when I really, really didn't want that to happen

He was just silent for 5 seconds, then speaking in the most quiet, confused tone I've ever heard, replying with one simple word. 'What?'

'Don't fucking what me, Park. You've done a lot of shit to me over the years, but this was just on a completely different level. And how come you get to act any fucking way you want with me, but when I do what I want, you won't leave me the fuck alone? Do I not have the right to be angry? Or hurt?!'

'I DON'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!' He screamed back. 'I was waiting for you, and you never came back! I waited for you at that fucking thing! I wanted-'

'You wanted to have a random, quick fuck. I get it. And I was stupid enough to get roped into your dumb fucking game, and that's no one else's fault but mine. I'm not even angry with you as much as I'm angry with myself for letting it ha-'

'Will you shut the fuck up and listen to me for a damn fucking minute!?' He cut me off, yelling over me once again. 'I wasn't trying to sleep with you you fucking idiot! I was trying to tell you something, and you fucked off before I got a chance to! Without even telling me why! I waited and looked for you all over. I even went to your fucking house and you didn't even wanna talk! WHY?!' 

'I went away for a minute. A fucking minute. And by the time I got back, you were holding someone else. I didn't think you'd want to be bothered in your quest, and I didn't feel like staying and feeling like an absolute idiot.'

'This is what I mean! I wasn't with anyone else!' He is just growing more frustrated, and it's only hurting me more that he keeps denying it. And the fact that it sounds almost convincing is even worse. And then his voice turned soft, quiet. 'The only reason I even went to the party was you. I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell you that-'

'Save it. I don't even wanna know what kind of nonsense you came up with this time. Just leave me the fuck alone.'

I hung up and instantly blocked his number. I do not want to hear another fucking word. I should have just ignored the call and save myself the tears. I cried enough because of him. 

JIMIN POV

'...The only reason I even went to the party was you. I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell you that-'

'Save it. I don't even wanna know what kind of nonsense you came up with this time. Just leave me the fuck alone.'

'I'm in love with you.' 

My whispered words got lost in silence coming from the other side of the cut off call. I didn't even get to tell her. She wouldn't let me. And she blocked my number the same damn second. I tried to call her back and only got cut off instantly.

She was yelling and crying, and it was hurting me to listen to it. I want to run to her and hold her. Wipe those tears away. She kept telling me that I was with someone else when I truly wasn't. I haven't been with anyone in months. Not since I started falling for her. 

There has not been a single person that made me even look twice. She is all I want. Even if I am doing nothing but arguing with her, I would rather argue with her 24 hours a day, let her scream and hit me if she wants to, than kiss and hold someone else. 

BINNA POV

I curled up on my bed, huggin a pillow that was more wet than dry from all the sobs I cried into it. I did always wonder what people meant when they said heartbreak hurts. I always thought it felt bad. You get sad, cry a bit. You just feel a bit down. I did not imagine it makes you feel like you want to regret every decision you ever brought. I did not think it makes your chest so tight that you can't breathe. I didn't imagine it to hurt so badly that it makes you want to die. And I certainly didn't imagine it that even through all the things you feel, all the pain the person caused you, you still want no one else but them.

I want him.
I want him to hold me. 
I want his scent to take over me like it always does.
I want his arms to be around me. His hands to press me to himself.
I want to hear his voice, telling me he feels the same. 
I want him. But I can't have him. 

But I know who was always there when it mattered. One person that I know loves me.

Me
Wanna sleep over?

Sarem 
Be there in 30

It wasn't even 30 minutes when she almost broke down my bedroom door, dropping her bag on the floor and running to my bed.

She laid behind me, hugging me like a child, not saying a word. Not until I spoke up first, my voice cracking with the tears I cried.

'I'm in love with him.'

'I know.'

That's all we said. There was no need for anything else to be said. The fact that I even admitted it was a shock, so she wouldn't push it.

If I wasn't the way I was, she would have trolled me and pretended not to know who I was talking about, but she knew. That's why she kept teasing. 

'Wanna tell me all about it?'